funny customer stories from your off farm job

[Anonymous]

What do you have? A lot of us have off farm jobs/careers, and there has to be some good ones. I've seen several customers parade across their open windows naked, heard a few "mating" but I've got from about 4 years ago that I aint telling til I've read a few of yours.....whatcha got?

 

[Isomade]

Severe pelvic bruising from harsh "mating", three fingers bitten off my a monkey, index finger gnawed off to first joint by a beaver while noodling, and my all-time favorite..... comb lodged in anal canal. Now out with your story Hook.

 

[Anonymous]

You didn't mention you worked in the circus and had a relationship with the bearded lady Iso....you tell first

 

[Isomade]

You didn't mention you worked in the circus and had a relationship with the bearded lady Iso....you tell first

Oops, I thought you wanted to know crazy stories about our personal lives, just forget I said anything. :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[ALACOWMAN]

Severe pelvic bruising from harsh "mating", three fingers bitten off my a monkey, index finger gnawed off to first joint by a beaver while noodling, and my all-time favorite..... comb lodged in anal canal. Now out with your story Hook.

what the he%$ do you do for a living?

 

[Anonymous]

Couple items up ac....he works in the circus

 

[ALACOWMAN]

got a few thats clean enough, im trying to remember... most recently was a feller when he was in school he was wrestling on the floor of the hall, with a buddy, that had a glass eye..... teacher ran up to break them up.. his buddy flipped his glass eye out and it rolled across the floor..................teacher fainted :lol:

 

[Gale Seddon]

Severe pelvic bruising from harsh "mating", three fingers bitten off my a monkey, index finger gnawed off to first joint by a beaver while noodling, and my all-time favorite..... comb lodged in anal canal. Now out with your story Hook.

what the he%$ do you do for a living?

Same question here, but I'm almost afraid to ask. Must be an emergency room somewhere? :hide:

 

[Isomade]

Severe pelvic bruising from harsh "mating", three fingers bitten off my a monkey, index finger gnawed off to first joint by a beaver while noodling, and my all-time favorite..... comb lodged in anal canal. Now out with your story Hook.

what the he%$ do you do for a living?

Same question here, but I'm almost afraid to ask. Must be an emergency room somewhere? :hide:

Truth be told I used to live in Oklahoma, but now I am Hooks personal physician :lol: .

 

[Anonymous]

Looks like its time to cull doc hollywood.

 

[Isomade]

Looks like its time to cull doc hollywood.

Now you have done it hook. Your meanness has hurt my feelings. After the big apology thread and everything, how could you? You know I have very thin sensitive skin, I want an apology and Mr Sweet man back. :cry2: :cry2:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

You're the doctor, tell me, how long can you hold your breath?

 

[James T]

Severe pelvic bruising from harsh "mating", three fingers bitten off my a monkey, index finger gnawed off to first joint by a beaver while noodling, and my all-time favorite..... comb lodged in anal canal. Now out with your story Hook.

It sounds like your very ill Isomade.

 

[Anonymous]

Ok, since Iso killed the funny, Ill tell mine.
I had to go to a customers house and do some work on his pooldeck. I get there, and customer tells me his neighbor is on the pooldeck, high on painkillers because he just had some major surgery. I walk back, tell the guy I gotta run him off and he says he can't move, he just had surgery. I express my understanding, but I gotta get the job done. Neighbor proceeds to stand up slowly, and says "hey you wanna see something" I say no, not really. But he grabs the waistband of his sweatshorts, and starts pulling them down. Things went kinda slow motion, and I was hoping he would stop at maybe his navel area. Thinking he was trying to show me stitches from a hernia op or something. But nooooooo, he drops trow all the way down to reveal what appears to be 2 giant blue berries with an acorn between them.giant as in baseball sized, each! I almost puked,and couldn't turn my head away fast enough. Turns out he had a testical removed, and was so high he wanted to show everything off....there ya go ISO, your circus story now officially sucks!

 

[john250]

Ok, since Iso ruined it. Ill tell mine.
I had to go to a customers house and do some work on his pooldeck. I get there, and customer tells me his neighbor is on the pooldeck, high on painkillers because he just had some major surgery. I walk back, tell the guy I gotta run him off and he says he can't move, he just had surgery. I express my understanding, but I gotta get the job done. Neighbor proceeds to stand up slowly, and says "hey you wanna see something" I say no, not really. But he grabs the waistband of his sweatshorts, and starts pulling them down. Things went kinda slow motion, and I was hoping he would stop at maybe his navel area. Thinking he was trying to show me stitches from a hernia op or something. But nooooooo, he drops trow all the way down to reveal what appears to be 2 giant blue berries with an acorn between them.giant as in baseball sized, each! I almost puked,and couldn't turn my head away fast enough. Turns out he had a testical removed, and was so high he wanted to show everything off....there ya go ISO, your circus story now officially sucks!

I always imagined that (I had to go to a customers house and do some work on his pooldeck.) poolboys had all the fun. Not so?

 

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. Seen quite a few naked coeds, had a hs boy try to set me up with his divorced mom. Said it didn't matter I was married...more than a few wives walk across the house nekkid....a whole bunch of craziness

 

[James T]

There's nothing like good eye candy Hooknline! Just don't touch!

 

[Isomade]

Ok, since Iso killed the funny, Ill tell mine.
I had to go to a customers house and do some work on his pooldeck. I get there, and customer tells me his neighbor is on the pooldeck, high on painkillers because he just had some major surgery. I walk back, tell the guy I gotta run him off and he says he can't move, he just had surgery. I express my understanding, but I gotta get the job done. Neighbor proceeds to stand up slowly, and says "hey you wanna see something" I say no, not really. But he grabs the waistband of his sweatshorts, and starts pulling them down. Things went kinda slow motion, and I was hoping he would stop at maybe his navel area. Thinking he was trying to show me stitches from a hernia op or something. But nooooooo, he drops trow all the way down to reveal what appears to be 2 giant blue berries with an acorn between them.giant as in baseball sized, each! I almost puked,and couldn't turn my head away fast enough. Turns out he had a testical removed, and was so high he wanted to show everything off....there ya go ISO, your circus story now officially sucks!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

And thanks for the flowers Iso...that was very kind of you

 

[Isomade]

And thanks for the flowers Iso...that was very kind of you

When I heard about your "comb" incident I told the wife we needed to do something nice for you while you recovered in the hospital. She actually deserves the credit for the flowers. Anyways, I hope everything CAME OUT alright.