TOO BIG TO FAIL
To: Ben Bernanke
Subject: Too Big to Fail
My name is Randy Stemmons and I live in East Falls, Nebraska. For the past 30 years, I have raised cattle and fattened them in my 8000 head feedyard. Times have been tough and I am like a lot of people – I am just trying to understand what is happening. Towards that end, I have listened to every speech you have made in the past three weeks. I have satellite radio in my tractor and I tune in to the business channel and listen to the chaos in the markets and your attempts to calm them and explain what is going on.
I think I am starting to understand. Ours is a fragile world and the tenuous connections between all of the parts are unbelievable. I have come to understand that my role in the local and global economy is just as important as those like Citicorp and Freddie and Fannie – only now it is time to help Randy. I badly need three million. It will keep things going locally like Jeff Beechman's feed store and Sol over at the discount liquor place where I have become a regular customer -- owing to the bad times and the need for a little pick me up. It also will keep the beef moving to Korea and Japan so the slant eyes won't go hungry. I am pretty sure five million will tide me over [I know I said three originally but better be safe than sorry].
I also want to thank you for the great idea you had on "mark to market" accounting. If the owner thinks the inventory is going for a fire sale price, then you authorize an accounting rule change to keep the inventory on the books at cost. That is a big help. I have always known my cows were worth more than the idiot traders offered. I would like you to ask all bankers to listen to your speeches because when I told my banker about the accounting rule, he looked at me like I was crazy. I told him you promised to get the loans flowing and to stop talking about shutting me down.
You probably wonder how I got myself into this mess. Well, I started small and then proceeded down the slippery slope. First I took the checks the government paid me for not farming and leaving my land idle and bought my first cattle. The banker was making so much money peddling mortgages to the Mac n' Mae that he barely charged me for interest and was ready to give me more money every time I asked. My neighbors were getting such fat checks for crop deficiency payments that they could grow corn for $2 and never look back. It was easy street until the government again decided to subsidize the ethanol plants and from that point forward, the story turns sour.
I really appreciate your understanding and recognition that risk is just not something a true American deserves. This country is the greatest because every time someone does something stupid or dishonest, we have the government to the rescue. I also will tell all the folks here in East Falls that we can expect the wheels to keep on turning and not to worry. And by the way, maybe ten million would assure I don't have to come back. And finally, don't forget to beef up the consumer protection laws. I don't want anyone hounding me about payback.
To: Ben Bernanke
Subject: Too Big to Fail
My name is Randy Stemmons and I live in East Falls, Nebraska. For the past 30 years, I have raised cattle and fattened them in my 8000 head feedyard. Times have been tough and I am like a lot of people – I am just trying to understand what is happening. Towards that end, I have listened to every speech you have made in the past three weeks. I have satellite radio in my tractor and I tune in to the business channel and listen to the chaos in the markets and your attempts to calm them and explain what is going on.
I think I am starting to understand. Ours is a fragile world and the tenuous connections between all of the parts are unbelievable. I have come to understand that my role in the local and global economy is just as important as those like Citicorp and Freddie and Fannie – only now it is time to help Randy. I badly need three million. It will keep things going locally like Jeff Beechman's feed store and Sol over at the discount liquor place where I have become a regular customer -- owing to the bad times and the need for a little pick me up. It also will keep the beef moving to Korea and Japan so the slant eyes won't go hungry. I am pretty sure five million will tide me over [I know I said three originally but better be safe than sorry].
I also want to thank you for the great idea you had on "mark to market" accounting. If the owner thinks the inventory is going for a fire sale price, then you authorize an accounting rule change to keep the inventory on the books at cost. That is a big help. I have always known my cows were worth more than the idiot traders offered. I would like you to ask all bankers to listen to your speeches because when I told my banker about the accounting rule, he looked at me like I was crazy. I told him you promised to get the loans flowing and to stop talking about shutting me down.
You probably wonder how I got myself into this mess. Well, I started small and then proceeded down the slippery slope. First I took the checks the government paid me for not farming and leaving my land idle and bought my first cattle. The banker was making so much money peddling mortgages to the Mac n' Mae that he barely charged me for interest and was ready to give me more money every time I asked. My neighbors were getting such fat checks for crop deficiency payments that they could grow corn for $2 and never look back. It was easy street until the government again decided to subsidize the ethanol plants and from that point forward, the story turns sour.
I really appreciate your understanding and recognition that risk is just not something a true American deserves. This country is the greatest because every time someone does something stupid or dishonest, we have the government to the rescue. I also will tell all the folks here in East Falls that we can expect the wheels to keep on turning and not to worry. And by the way, maybe ten million would assure I don't have to come back. And finally, don't forget to beef up the consumer protection laws. I don't want anyone hounding me about payback.
