Fixin to get interesting.

[ANAZAZI]

All children are wanted, not all are planned, and a grandfather is father getting a second chance. The way I understand it you are a really good father who takes the time to raise your children, you will be a superb grandfather(because now you are allowed to spoil them).
Congratulations!

 

[backhoeboogie]

It's flesh of your flesh that's all that matters.

There's a lot of truth to that. I got hit with the news as we walked out the door to work this morning. After the shock wore off we made arrangements to verify the home test at the doctor. At that point it don't matter what I felt or anything from the past. From here on what matters is the future. My dad taught me everything about what not to do as a parent and grandparent. So far it's served me well. When you have kids young (planned) and they have kids young, it gives you the opportunity to be the best grandpa ever whole thinking you're still 20 years old!

I like your attitude.

I am so thankful that none of my unplanned grandchildren were aborted.

 

[Alan]

As said the baby carries no blame or guilt in this. in my eyes as in most folks a grandchild is impossible not to love from the first second it arrives. Congrats to you and your family Hook. :tiphat:

 

[greybeard]

One of the plus parts of grandparenting is that when they get to be too much underfoot, you can take 'em home to mom and dad. :banana:

 

[Hook]

We had a sit down with the 2 today and talked about their plans and goals and expectations. And ours. It went well and they have a plan of action to start on. They both know it won't be an easy road and it's their responsibility to make it work and not ours, but we will be here for them to help out as we see fit.
Now to have a sit down with his parents. They didn't take the news well yesterday. It's a shocker for them so we'll give them a few days to adjust to it.

 

[backhoeboogie]

We had a sit down with the 2 today and talked about their plans and goals and expectations. And ours. It went well and they have a plan of action to start on. They both know it won't be an easy road and it's their responsibility to make it work and not ours, but we will be here for them to help out as we see fit.
Now to have a sit down with his parents. They didn't take the news well yesterday. It's a shocker for them so we'll give them a few days to adjust to it.

You are already ahead of me. I have never met the other grandparents for either grandson.

 

[Hook]

Good thing it's not a race bhb! You've done well in your situation from what I can tell.

 

[Caustic Burno]

We had a sit down with the 2 today and talked about their plans and goals and expectations. And ours. It went well and they have a plan of action to start on. They both know it won't be an easy road and it's their responsibility to make it work and not ours, but we will be here for them to help out as we see fit.
Now to have a sit down with his parents. They didn't take the news well yesterday. It's a shocker for them so we'll give them a few days to adjust to it.

This is a tight rope walking act here so be careful.
Lot of difference between help and dependence.
Oldest was about 30 and lost his job in a lay off.
Called and said Dad we are going to need some help.
I ask how much do you have in savings he replied nothing.
I ask then he expected his mother and I to pull money from our savings account to pay his bills
because he and my DIL were too sorry to save.
Again I ask him what I was supposed to do if I needed money go dig up his grandpa and ask him.
I then told him that he and DIL could starve to death as far as I was concerned but I would feed the grand babies. I then told him he could write this in stone, in blood or put your hand on the good book I would be dead before I gave them a penny.
I ask him why I should help someone not willing to help themselves.
Now Granny and I filled the cupboards and pantry with groceries.
He has never been broke since the boy needed his compass reset.
Sometimes help is not helping.
As my Dad told me when I got married son you are rowing your own boat,
it is your job to row the boat not mine.

 

[Hook]

I just had the 2 of them go out to the garden and plant carrots and peas. For the baby to eat. By themselves.
Just a small way of starting them both on the right path of taking responsability.

 

[Williamsv]

That was a great thing to do!

 

[dieselbeef]

things could always be worse..itll be okay..be happy..its yer best choice..congrats

 

[backhoeboogie]

We had a sit down with the 2 today and talked about their plans and goals and expectations. And ours. It went well and they have a plan of action to start on. They both know it won't be an easy road and it's their responsibility to make it work and not ours, but we will be here for them to help out as we see fit.
Now to have a sit down with his parents. They didn't take the news well yesterday. It's a shocker for them so we'll give them a few days to adjust to it.

This is a tight rope walking act here so be careful.
Lot of difference between help and dependence.
Oldest was about 30 and lost his job in a lay off.
Called and said Dad we are going to need some help.
I ask how much do you have in savings he replied nothing.
I ask then he expected his mother and I to pull money from our savings account to pay his bills
because he and my DIL were too sorry to save.
Again I ask him what I was supposed to do if I needed money go dig up his grandpa and ask him.
I then told him that he and DIL could starve to death as far as I was concerned but I would feed the grand babies. I then told him he could write this in stone, in blood or put your hand on the good book I would be dead before I gave them a penny.
I ask him why I should help someone not willing to help themselves.
Now Granny and I filled the cupboards and pantry with groceries.
He has never been broke since the boy needed his compass reset.
Sometimes help is not helping.
As my Dad told me when I got married son you are rowing your own boat,
it is your job to row the boat not mine.

I've never been worth a flip at tough love. Things came back around and bit me. Ex Wife was worse than I was.

 

[kerley]

Welcome to the club.

 

[Luca Brasi]

I don't get it. Celebrating unwed pregnancy and refusing to help one's own child even if he were starving to death are not values which are consistent with my understanding of the meaning of family.

 

[ANAZAZI]

I don't get it. Celebrating unwed pregnancy and refusing to help one's own child even if he were starving to death are not values which are consistent with my understanding of the meaning of family.

It is quite possible to make unwed pregnancy into wed pregnancy.

 

[TexasBred]

I don't get it. Celebrating unwed pregnancy and refusing to help one's own child even if he were starving to death are not values which are consistent with my understanding of the meaning of family.

They can always get married....as for starving to death...the thought of it is usually a great motivator to get get you off your a$$ and hunt for work.....especially when you've already been told not to come home looking for handouts.

 

[Bigfoot]

I don't get it. Celebrating unwed pregnancy and refusing to help one's own child even if he were starving to death are not values which are consistent with my understanding of the meaning of family.

My family has a sink or swim mentality. I'm not saying its right, but working without a net is very sobering.

 

[HDRider]

Hard lessons are best learned, not taught.

 

[Rafter S]

I don't get it. Celebrating unwed pregnancy and refusing to help one's own child even if he were starving to death are not values which are consistent with my understanding of the meaning of family.

I didn't get the impression that anyone was celebrating the pregnancy; just accepting and making the best of the situation.

And I agree completely with refusing to help a grown child who hasn't bothered to plan ahead. It's always been my belief that my job as a parent is to take care of my children's every need when they're very small, and to gradually transition that into them taking care of themselves. When you do too much for a child, especially as they get older, they never learn to take care of themselves, make decisions for themselves, or gain the self confidence that comes from solving their own problems.

(End of rant.)

 

[TennesseeTuxedo]

I don't get it. Celebrating unwed pregnancy and refusing to help one's own child even if he were starving to death are not values which are consistent with my understanding of the meaning of family.

I didn't get the impression that anyone was celebrating the pregnancy; just accepting and making the best of the situation.

And I agree completely with refusing to help a grown child who hasn't bothered to plan ahead. It's always been my belief that my job as a parent is to take care of my children's every need when they're very small, and to gradually transition that into them taking care of themselves. When you do too much for a child, especially as they get older, they never learn to take care of themselves, make decisions for themselves, or gain the self confidence that comes from solving their own problems.

(End of rant.)

Well said.