Favorite Sayings and One Liners

[Calman]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.


Merry

I heard it was Beauty is in the eye of the Beerholder.
In the past I have proved this too myself.
Woke up and sneeked very quitly out in fear of waking her up or being seen by someone.

Cal

 

[Angus Cattle Shower]

I'll kick your arse so hard they'll catch you for speeding in Hong Kong.

 

[dun]

When all is said and done, there's a lot more said then done!

 

[chrisy]

Everytime we would pass a cemetary my dad would say.
Ya Know People are just Dieing to get in there. :roll:

my Dads comment to this was 'This is the dead centre of Town'

 

[mermill2]

Slower than molasses in January.


Merry

 

[DavisBeefmasters]

There is only one thing that is guaranteed:

You'll never know what you don't know.

 

[mermill2]

The pen is mightier than the sword.




Merry

 

[blk mule]

slicker than snot on a door knob

slicker than a greased gut

pertty as a spotted poland china

monkey sees monkey does

looser than a gel flirted mare (sorry)

does a bear crap in the woods

got the scours worse than a duck

loose as a goose

blk mule

 

[f150fatboy]

Don't order the number 2, it's tastes like crap.

Hilarious

Also heard "Couldn't pull a greasy string out of a cat's a$$.

 

[Miss Daisy]

When I was young and I would ask my Dad about girls.
He would always reply.
Thier ain't but two kinds Son
Big Ole Good uns and Good Ole Big uns

Son of a Sailer

the only girl advice my grandfather gave my uncle was "beauty is skin deep but ugly is clear to the bone.

and one i got laughed at for sayin today : back when we was knee high to grass hoppers

 

[mermill2]

Faint heart never won a fair maiden.



Merry

 

[Crowderfarms]

Birds
of a feather flock together and crap on your car.




When
I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end
of his chain and gag himself.




A
penny saved is a government oversight.




The
real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time,
but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting
moment.




The
older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and
your fat have gotten to be really good friends.



The
easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
replacement

.



He
who hesitates is probably right.



Did
you ever notice:
The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are







"XL."




If
you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met
everybody.




If
you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.




The
sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in
trouble.




There's
always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I
am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt
.




Did
you ever notice:
When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."

 

[mermill2]

All reads lead to Rome.




Merry

 

[dun]

All reads lead to Rome.




Merry

Aren;t those roads?

 

[dun]

One mans mead is another mans poison

The halt leading the blind

 

[chrisy]

One mans mead is another mans poison

The halt leading the blind

the sayings here are 'One mans meat is another mans poison' and 'The blind leading the blind'


This appears in the Bible, Matthew 15:14 (King James Version):

Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.

 

[J&T Farm]

slower than a nudist going thru a barbed wire fence

a penny saved is a government oversight

 

[mermill2]

All reads lead to Rome.




Merry

Aren;t those roads?

Yes, I meant roads, I had a little trouble with my eyes this am.. They didn't tell me I would get old this fast. I should know better, every time I look in the mirror, I see my mother. At least, I recognize that person.


Merry

 

[mermill2]

Man does not live by bread alone.


Merry

 

[dun]

One mans mead is another mans poison

The halt leading the blind

the sayings here are 'One mans meat is another mans poison' and 'The blind leading the blind'


This appears in the Bible, Matthew 15:14 (King James Version):

Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.

The mead one was from old Norwegian. The Krishna version is "one man;s food". I don;t remember the source for the blind and halt, but I had it backwards. It was the blind leading the halt