Favorite Sayings and One Liners

[MistyMorning]

Get your shiittt and git.

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

 

[DavisBeefmasters]

Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. [co-worker]

If you want to be dumb, you better be tough [from Dad]

Don't write a check your a$$ can't cash [dear Mom]

Off your a$$ and on your feet, out of the shade and into the heat [my husband picked this one up somewhere]

 

[CUZ]

Dad - Have you got lodestone in your butt?

Me - Why?

Dad - Because every chance you get you're sitting. It's like you've got something pulling your hind end down.

 

[R.T.]

That ole boy is to dumb to pour pee out of his
boot with the directions written on the bottom.

 

[VanC]

"Wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which one fills up the fastest."

Another variation on this one is "Wish in one hand and crap in the other and all you'll get is a handful of crap."

 

[chrisy]

"Beans, Beans, good fer your heart, the more you eat, the more, you" oh well ya'll can figger it out !!!

Beans, beans the magical fruit, the more you eat the more you toot!!! :help:

'pardon me for being rude it was not me it was my food, it just popped up to say hello, but now it's gone back down below.'
or as a little boy on the bus remarked..... 'excuse me for being rude, it was a message from my heart., if it had been the other way it would have been a f*rt'

 

[flaboy]

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

Bet your hubby tells you that a lot huh?

 

[MistyMorning]

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

Bet your hubby tells you that a lot huh?

Time change got you a little cranky this morning? :nod:

 

[Crowderfarms]

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

Bet your hubby tells you that a lot huh?

I cant recall ever saying that to Misty....

We have a Play-Tonic relationship.

She plays and I drink the Tonic. :shock:

 

[curtis]

The temperature is dropping like a prom dress.

 

[CKC1586]

If I made mom real mad:
I'll snatch you bald missy!

 

[flaboy]

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

Bet your hubby tells you that a lot huh?

I cant recall ever saying that to Misty....

We have a Play-Tonic relationship.

She plays and I drink the Tonic. :shock:

Hummm...so Crowder when did you become a certified swine judge? :lol:

 

[farm princess]

one of my farvorites is "if that ain't the pot calling the kettle black"
I have more I just know I do, but can't think this morning!

;-)

 

[MistyMorning]

Hummm...so Crowder when did you become a certified swine judge? :lol:

Hmmm..... So blahboy when did you become a mental midget?

Oh and Crowder, just got off the phone with Mrs. Crowder, let her know she can expect her case of whupass by UPS tomorrow A.M. :shock:

 

[Miss Daisy]

The temperature is dropping like a prom dress.

thats one of the bettere ones so far!

 

[Rookie]

Slicker'n two seals in a tub a snot.

 

[dun]

Put on clean underwear in case you're in an accident!

 

[UncleD]

Two of my favorites:

When someone complains about not knowing how to do something. "You're not gonna learn any younger"

My most favorite: "If you're not gonna use your head, you might as well have 2 azzes"

 

[mermill2]

Jump from the frying pan into the fire. Merry

 

[Crowderfarms]

Hummm...so Crowder when did you become a certified swine judge? :lol:

Hmmm..... So blahboy when did you become a mental midget?

Oh and Crowder, just got off the phone with Mrs. Crowder, let her know she can expect her case of whupass by UPS tomorrow A.M. :shock:

What did I do now?

If you cant take the heat git out of the Kitchen. ;-)