A big city lawyer went duck hunting in the rural south. He shot and
dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side
of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove
up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this
field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not
coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys
in the United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue
you and take everything you own.
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know
how we settle disputes in the south. We settle small disagreements
like this with the "Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my
land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times
and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided
that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by
the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked
up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy
steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his
knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal
gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's
third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his
feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay,
Now it's my turn."
[I love this part....]
The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up.
You can have the duck."
dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side
of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove
up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this
field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not
coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys
in the United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue
you and take everything you own.
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know
how we settle disputes in the south. We settle small disagreements
like this with the "Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my
land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times
and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided
that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by
the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked
up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy
steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his
knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal
gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's
third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his
feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay,
Now it's my turn."
[I love this part....]
The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up.
You can have the duck."
