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Tom Bodett was an enterprising fellow.
Was? He still is.

He now lives in the middle of a hay field in Dummerston, VT where he has served on the local Selectboard, raises kids, makes things out of wood, and explores the tipping point of his tractor.

It takes a lot of enterprise to find out what the tipping point of your tractor might be without actually tipping it over..
 
It's a shame nothing is made in America any more. Made in China-hecho en Mexico-Product of Honduras..

I just bought an alarm clock radio and it had a sticker on the back that said
"Built in Antenna".
I don't even know where the hell that is..


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Presumably, drinking 1 pint of beer knocks a year off your life.
According to my calculations, I died some time in 1687
 
This brings back a funny memory of my mom . She had just started having memory issues / Alzheimer's. Her filter was the first thing to go . We went to a family reunion on my father's side when our least favorite aunt comes up to greet us . Mom said : wow you've got big ! And she had put on a lot of weight. My children had to turn away to keep from busting out laughing 😂 my dear auntie just grinned , turned tail and walked away like a scolded pup . Best reunion ever ! 😜
 
This brings back a funny memory of my mom . She had just started having memory issues / Alzheimer's. Her filter was the first thing to go . We went to a family reunion on my father's side when our least favorite aunt comes up to greet us . Mom said : wow you've got big ! And she had put on a lot of weight. My children had to turn away to keep from busting out laughing 😂 my dear auntie just grinned , turned tail and walked away like a scolded pup . Best reunion ever ! 😜
When my 90ish year old grandad developed that problem, he was wandering on the place one day and found my truck. He couldn't get it started because of the clutch safety switch. He had never owned a vehicle with safety anything.
He abandoned his efforts to steal a strange truck, but got tangled up trying to climb over a barbed wire fence. That is where granny found and rescued him.

When I went to check on him, granny said "now give him back the money!".
Granddad replied "it ain't much, cheap bastards!"…… and he dug all the pocket change out of his bibs that he had "stolen" from my ashtray.
 
This brings back a funny memory of my mom . She had just started having memory issues / Alzheimer's. Her filter was the first thing to go . We went to a family reunion on my father's side when our least favorite aunt comes up to greet us . Mom said : wow you've got big ! And she had put on a lot of weight. My children had to turn away to keep from busting out laughing 😂 my dear auntie just grinned , turned tail and walked away like a scolded pup . Best reunion ever ! 😜
It sounds like she's been taking her pills
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A New York family bought a ranch out West where they intended to raise cattle. Friends came to visit and asked if the ranch had a name.

"Well," said the would-be-cattleman. "I wanted to call it the Bar-J. My wife favored the Suzy-Q. One son liked the Flying-W, and the other son wanted the Lazy-Y. So, we're calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy-Y Ranch."

"But where are all your cattle?"

"So far, none have survived the branding."

...........
Two Irish nuns were sitting in their car at a

traffic light when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulled up alongside.

"Hey, show us your tits you bloody penguins!" shouted one of the drunks.

The Mother Superior turns to Sister Margaret and says "I don't think they know who we are. Show them your cross!"

So Sister Margaret rolls down her window and shouts, "Sod off you little focking wankers before I get out and rip your gotdam balls off!"

Sister Margaret looks back at the Mother Superior and asks, "Was that cross enough?"
 
A New York family bought a ranch out West where they intended to raise cattle. Friends came to visit and asked if the ranch had a name.

"Well," said the would-be-cattleman. "I wanted to call it the Bar-J. My wife favored the Suzy-Q. One son liked the Flying-W, and the other son wanted the Lazy-Y. So, we're calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy-Y Ranch."

"But where are all your cattle?"

"So far, none have survived the branding."
the first bull we bought was from a famous rodeo guy.. what a character, he was known for his brand being visible from both sides of the cow.. Bar S Lazy P was his brand
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Back in the day, that going in and out of the house let flies in during the day, mosquitoes in after sunset, and let the heat out in winter. (doors and windows were always open in summer but you better not let that screen door slam shut!) I want a screen door here but our calico would tear it up. I can't say I hate that cat but strongly dislike it but......., for reasons unknown, it likes to hang about every where I go. Probably hopin I'll keel over dead and it eat me.

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