Ouachita
Well-known member
Hey Warren,
You posted that one last week. Take another toke
Time to call the dogs and pizz on the fire.
Daily Chuckle
- Thread starter D2Cat
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Help Support CattleToday:
You posted that one last week. Take another toke
Time to call the dogs and pizz on the fire.
coachg
Well-known member
Travlr
Well-known member
farmerjan
Well-known member
So sad but so true... didn't know whether to like, sad or mad.....
greybeard
Well-known member
I like posting jokes about penguins and ostriches but they don't really fly here..
Ouachita
Well-known member
Let's see if this one will fly...............
A penguin is on vacation, driving through Arizona, when he notices that the oil light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor and drives to the nearest service station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice cream shop and, being a penguin in the desert, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers.
After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the service station. The mechanic looks up and says "Looks like you blew a seal."
"No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."
greybeard
Well-known member
Name a Roman Emperor.
Julius Seizure. I came, I saw, I had a fit..
Blonde needs a car but only has $500. She goes to the car lot, explains her problem but the salesman says:
You can have the BWM back behind the building for $500 but it comes with no doors.
The blonde turns the deal down flatly saying, "I can't buy a car with no doors..how would I ever get in?"
Julius Seizure. I came, I saw, I had a fit..
Blonde needs a car but only has $500. She goes to the car lot, explains her problem but the salesman says:
You can have the BWM back behind the building for $500 but it comes with no doors.
The blonde turns the deal down flatly saying, "I can't buy a car with no doors..how would I ever get in?"
coachg
Well-known member
coachg
Well-known member
4hfarms
Well-known member
MurraysMutts
Well-known member
The original "auto-correct"!
greybeard
Well-known member
And the worst part was, that hand could somehow reach you no matter where you were sitting. Front seat, back seat, even back in the 3rd seat of our old station wagon. WHAPP!
coachg
Well-known member
coachg
Well-known member
To bad those hands went out of style, if they hadn't, we wouldn't have half the problems in this world...
farmerjan
Well-known member
AMEN to that... a little more "APPLIED" discipline would stop alot of the problems in this world...
Twisted
Well-known member
greybeard
Well-known member
I dreamed my mother-in-law was backing off a cliff in my brand new car.
I have mixed feelings about that.
Yesterday, a volunteer came knocking on my door asking for a donation toward a new city swimming pool. I gave him a bottle of water.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others.
The rest of us ARE the others.
The husband says to his wife, "why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm'?
She replies, "I don't like calling you when you're at work."
(ouch!)
We had a power outage last week and my nephew's PC, TV, and games console shut down immediately. It was raining -- therefore he couldn't play golf, so he talked to his wife for a few hours.
He said she seems like a nice person...
---------------------------
I have mixed feelings about that.
Yesterday, a volunteer came knocking on my door asking for a donation toward a new city swimming pool. I gave him a bottle of water.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others.
The rest of us ARE the others.
The husband says to his wife, "why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm'?
She replies, "I don't like calling you when you're at work."
(ouch!)
We had a power outage last week and my nephew's PC, TV, and games console shut down immediately. It was raining -- therefore he couldn't play golf, so he talked to his wife for a few hours.
He said she seems like a nice person...
---------------------------
Ouachita
Well-known member
That reminds me…….
A professor at the University of Wisconsin was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students.
Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'
She replied, 'Probably deer hunting with his buddies.'...
It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom
greybeard
Well-known member
Waaay way back in the day, (before my time as an adult) lots of central Texas deer hunters did their hunting about 3 miles outside a little town in Fayette County at an address on Rocky Creek road....
