Daily Chuckle

greybeard · Dec 23, 2023

Everybody seems normal, till you get to know 'em.

I went to my friend's house recently and noticed that his Christmas tree was bare except for a shotgun shell near the top. I asked, "What's the deal, no decorations?"

Puzzled, he looked at me and said, "What do you mean? It's a cartridge in a bare tree."

9 out of 10 voices in my head tell me I'm crazy.
The other one just hums..

Little Joe · Dec 23, 2023

Ouachita · Dec 23, 2023

CowboyRam · Dec 23, 2023

What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

What is every parent's favorite Christmas song? Silent Night!

What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days!

Ouachita · Dec 23, 2023

Ouachita · Dec 23, 2023

Three Labrador retrievers -- one brown, one yellow and one black, were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's office when they struck up a conversation. The black lab turned to the brown and said, "So why are you here?"

The brown lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything -- the sofa, the drapes, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."

The black lab said, "So what is the vet going to do?"

"Gonna give me Prozac," came the reply from the brown lab. "All the vets are prescribing it. It works for everything."

The black lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked, "Why are you here?"

The yellow lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch."

"So what are they going to do to you?" the black lab inquired.

"Looks like Prozac for me too," the dejected yellow lab said.

The yellow lab then turned to the black lab and asked, "Why are you at the vet's office?"

"I'm a humper," the black lab said. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fire hydrants, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started humping away."

The yellow and brown labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, Prozac for you too, huh?"

The black lab said, "No, I'm here to get my nails clipped.