wbvs58
Well-known member
The old duckbill. I hope she warmed it up before using it.
Ken
Ken
Daily Chuckle
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Travlr
Well-known member
A wife suspected that her husband was having an affair with the housemaid.
She thought of a plan to take him by surprise.
On Friday she told the maid to take the day off and that night she went into the maid's room, switched off all the lights, and, in pitch darkness, slipped into the bed.
Sure enough at midnight, there were footsteps and a figure opened the door and slipped into the maid's bed beside her...
A few passionate kisses led to amazing sex as the wife channeled all her anger into passion so that she could reveal to her husband what he would be missing when she turned on the light. Finally, exhausted and growing increasingly angry, the wife suddenly switched on the lights and screeched, 'Surprised?"
The chauffeur leapt from the bed and stammered, "I sure am, Ma'am."
She thought of a plan to take him by surprise.
On Friday she told the maid to take the day off and that night she went into the maid's room, switched off all the lights, and, in pitch darkness, slipped into the bed.
Sure enough at midnight, there were footsteps and a figure opened the door and slipped into the maid's bed beside her...
A few passionate kisses led to amazing sex as the wife channeled all her anger into passion so that she could reveal to her husband what he would be missing when she turned on the light. Finally, exhausted and growing increasingly angry, the wife suddenly switched on the lights and screeched, 'Surprised?"
The chauffeur leapt from the bed and stammered, "I sure am, Ma'am."
branxchar&charx
Well-known member
greybeard
Well-known member
Continuing this line...
My wife has been trying to lose weight lately
She told me she burned 2000 calories last night
I said, "Wow!, you must have run 15 miles!"
She said, "Hell no!, I fell asleep and forgot I had brownies in the oven!"
My wife has been trying to lose weight lately
She told me she burned 2000 calories last night
I said, "Wow!, you must have run 15 miles!"
She said, "Hell no!, I fell asleep and forgot I had brownies in the oven!"
Ouachita
Well-known member
Oops. I was trying to post the coyote hanging on the tailgate. That'll get your attention going down the interstate
I've just seen a midget escaping down the prison walls on a rope.
I thought to myself "That's a little con descending".
I thought to myself "That's a little con descending".
Sword-Swallowing is the only hobby I can think of where "Learn from your mistakes" would be considered the absolute worst advice you could ever take.
greybeard
Well-known member
Back when I had them, I heard this 100 times:
Fieros..Don't those things catch fire?
Fieros..Don't those things catch fire?
Ouachita
Well-known member
Aren't you a bit tall for a toy car?
MurraysMutts
Well-known member
Mine never caught on fire.
Miss that car.
Miss that car.
Ouachita
Well-known member
Men are such bass turds.
My wife had to make an out of town trip a couple weekends ago. When she got home that evening, I was kicked back in the recliner (probably reading CT) when she asked "so, watcha been doing today?"
With my best usual reply "not much" (because I don't like describing boring details), she remarked that the trash hadn't been burned, and then repeated her question. So, I told her about my day "I spent the last of the toilet paper in the bathroom………and I fetched and installed a fresh roll".
She was livid. A few seconds later she flies back into the living room, broom in one hand, wand in the other, and says "you put it on backwards!"
greybeard
Well-known member
I can so relate to that.
I sometimes just tell the truth when she asks that and I answer "Not damn thing".
I sometimes just tell the truth when she asks that and I answer "Not damn thing".
Ouachita
Well-known member
I had been working on fence all day, repairing from wind blown forest service trees.
My point was;
I find the photo and meme comical; I like it because it's funny, but no one knows what happened before the photo was taken.
For the past three or more decades, it's been popular to make men appear as bafoons.
I'm just spitballing the idea that she told him that he was doing it wrong, and told him to get out of the way (I recognize that posture).
Heck, my wife still asked me why I turn the mayonnaise lid backwards before I turn it the correct way.
Travlr
Well-known member
Oh Gaaawd... Here I am trying to ignore you, but THAT's funny!
