Crowder for President

[Crowderfarms]

Ladies and Gentleman. I have officially announce my canidacy to run for President of this Great Country. If Elected, I would like to tell you about a few of my campaign promises.
1. All cabinet members will appear clad in "Pointer Brand" Overalls.
2.In God We Trust and the 10 Commandments will stay in place everywhere.
3.Every Man, Woman, and Child will get DVD's of all Hee Haw episodes.
4.Larry the Cable Guy license plates will replace State tags.
5.Toyota, Mazda, Nissan,and Subaru plants will be shut down, and all management and CEO's deported to their respected countries immeadiately.
6. New Holland will be sold back to Ford tomorrow A.M.
7.Moline , Illinois will be put back on the map, as there wont be another Deere product made in India, Korea, or anywhere, but the USA.
Now for my Cabinet Appointees:
Secretary of Agriculture: Texan
Secretary of Defense: Mr. Caustic Burno
Dept. Of Transportation: Sidney 411 (because she gets away with murder hauling oversized loads of Hay Rolls down Texas Interstates)
Secretary of Commerce: Frenchy/Oldtimer
Homeland Security:LA4Angus
Secretary of Energy: Campground Cattle
Dept. of the Treasury: TCM 57 (he's bound to be broke by now)
Dept. of Corrections: Ollie
Office of Gay and Lesbian affairs: MikeC ooops! ABOLISHED.
Secretary of State: TXAG
ATF: Ryder
Press secretary: Msscamp/HatCreekFan
White House Janitorials:Aplusmnt
Dept. Of Livestock: CtlBaron
Welare Dept: Abolished
Human Sevices: Muratic
Dept. Of ImmigrationR Cattle
Dept. Of Leisure Services: Merle, George,David Allan Coe
Speaker of the House: CypressFarms
Sgt. of Arms: Macon Gravlee
Childrens Affairs: SC Farms
Crop Duster 1 Pilot: Presto
If I missed anyone, I'm sorry. I got to run for another interview with Blonde Univ. of TN Intern. ;-)

 

[HatCreekFan]

Overalls? Thank goodness. msscamp and I thank you.

Oh, you are probably leaving the Daisy Dukes for ol' Caustic to wear. (when he's not wearing his pink chaps...)

:lol:

 

[Travis Bryan]

I second the nomination!!!!!! :lol:

 

[Crowderfarms]

Overalls? Thank goodness. msscamp and I thank you.

Oh, you are probably leaving the Daisy Dukes for ol' Caustic to wear. (when he's not wearing his pink chaps...)

:lol:

Dang. What a concept.CB in Daisy Dukes. Wow. He'll look good riding in my Official Airplane, Crop Duster One.

 

[Ryder]

Crowder I will accept my appointment right now. I don't see anyway you can lose. You will get the votes of a few of the men and all of the women. We are talking some reaaal heavy female support.

Are you planning on using flaboy's B&B as your official retreat?

 

[Crowderfarms]

Crowder I will accept my appointment right now. I don't see anyway you can lose. You will get the votes of a few of the men and all of the women. We are talking some reaaal heavy female support.

Are you planning on using flaboy's B&B as your official retreat?

Ryder, I'm glad we can count you in. I am targeting the "Large" female vote. I guess I better go ahead and announce my Vice Presidential Canidate. Drum Roll please: Flaboy+! We have a few minor details to work out. He keeps wanting to bring these 2 Furby lookin things into the Rebel House (it aint called the white house no more) Their names are Al and Jesse they have a friend that tags along named Louis too, that wears a funny tie.

 

[flaboy+]

Ryder, I'm glad we can count you in. I am targeting the "Large" female vote. I guess I better go ahead and announce my Vice Presidential Canidate. Drum Roll please: Flaboy+! We have a few minor details to work out. He keeps wanting to bring these 2 Furby lookin things into the Rebel House (it aint called the white house no more) Their names are Al and Jesse they have a friend that tags along named Louis too, that wears a funny tie.

I humbly accept with a couple conditions. I don't plan to attend ANY fundraisers where the "Large" women will be targeted for donations. My old back just can't take it anymore.

We move the White House down to Atlanta so we will be centrally located among our true constituents. Yes, we will rename it Rebel House.

I get to keep my Furbie's as I will need them to keep the cotton picked, lawn mowed, and barns cleaned.

Did ya tell them that one our first plans is to deport EVERY non-US citizen?

 

[Crowderfarms]

Ryder, I'm glad we can count you in. I am targeting the "Large" female vote. I guess I better go ahead and announce my Vice Presidential Canidate. Drum Roll please: Flaboy+! We have a few minor details to work out. He keeps wanting to bring these 2 Furby lookin things into the Rebel House (it aint called the white house no more) Their names are Al and Jesse they have a friend that tags along named Louis too, that wears a funny tie.

I humbly accept with a couple conditions. I don't plan to attend ANY fundraisers where the "Large" women will be targeted for donations. My old back just can't take it anymore.

We move the White House down to Atlanta so we will be centrally located among our true constituents. Yes, we will rename it Rebel House.

I get to keep my Furbie's as I will need them to keep the cotton picked, lawn mowed, and barns cleaned.

Did ya tell them that one our first plans is to deport EVERY non-US citizen?

I was thinking the Rebel House would be right here. One way in, one way out.The geeks and yuppies wont come near here. they'll get their vehicle dirty.

I guess the Furby's can stay. I never thought about them being such multi purpose implements.All non citizens will be on the next boat out.I'm interviewing interns as we speak, my Uncle Hugh just brought in a new load of em' from Auburn and Ole' Miss., things are really looking bright for the future.

 

[Caustic Burno]

Crowder I accept but we need to rename that office to the Secretary of Offense I don't believe in waiting for any varmit to come to me before I kill it. Hunt them down with extreme prejudice.

 

[Dave]

I thought it was against the rules to get politcal on these boards and now Crowder is annoucing his run for office here. I think Macon will have to start a new Crowder for President board to keep Cattle today from being buried by all the well wishers.
Dave

 

[Angus Guy]

Crowder

We sincerly endorse your run for President. We would ask that your nominee for Ag Sec be someone with ***** to do away with all of the Non-Ag programs and make it a true Ag dept.

Also all of the donations to the Crowder No Name Charity will be used to support your campaign.

Good Luck and Thanks
Bill

 

[Dave]

Hey Crowder,
Beings as the USDA as more employees than there are farmers and ranchers left in this country, why don't you just send out one USDA employee to each farm to help with the chores.
And when you get in office be sure to say hi to Hillary for me.
Dave

 

[cypressfarms]

Crowder,

Why do you have 2 press secretaries? Is it that you know you will need double the people to explain some of the "situations" that you get in with that large women vote?

 

[D.R. Cattle]

Dept. Of ImmigrationR Cattle

Send em all home. Ooops. That means nobody but the Indians left.

 

[norriscathy]

Dept. Of ImmigrationR Cattle

Send em all home. Ooops. That means nobody but the Indians left.

Actually, the Indians came here illegally from Mongolia across the Bering Strait!

 

[Crowderfarms]

Crowder,

Why do you have 2 press secretaries? Is it that you know you will need double the people to explain some of the "situations" that you get in with that large women vote?

I felt the use of two would benefit the Country. One East of The Mississippii, and one West.I'm at a little loss for words this morning, as I just got off Crop Duster 1 from Margaritaville.What a party at the "Country Club" last night.

 

[MikeC]

Crowder, I wish you well in your endeavor but think that there are not enough BCS "10" voters to get you elected in the upcoming presidential election. We'll see.

But what really worries me is your wild scheme to turn the NYSE (New York Stock Exchange) into a "Stockyard" or sale barn. They have no facilities and the labor pool up there will be inexperienced.

Plus the fact that it will send this country into financial chaos because the buyers will be converted "Stock Brokers" who wouldn't know a goat from a cow has me skeptical.

 

[-bherefords]

Childrens Affairs: SC Farms

LMAO!! Thats too FUNNY!! :lol:

 

[Bez!]

Dept. Of ImmigrationR Cattle


Dear potential Mr. Immigration Master:

I have attempted three times to buy a cattle operation in the U.S. of A. - unfortunately all three times I was refused immigration status - no real reason given - any chance I can get a review of procedures now that you are at least named - suspect you have at least a little political influence to get this far! Or do I have to wait for the election to be over?

:lol:

Bez!

 

[Crowderfarms]

Dept. Of ImmigrationR Cattle


Dear potential Mr. Immigration Master:

I have attempted three times to buy a cattle operation in the U.S. of A. - unfortunately all three times I was refused immigration status - no real reason given - any chance I can get a review of procedures now that you are at least named - suspect you have at least a little political influence to get this far! Or do I have to wait for the election to be over?

:lol:

Bez!

Bez, If My Appointtee D.R. Gives you any flack, just let me know what I can do for you.I'm sure I can grant you some sort of Clemency.Butt, if you grease his wallet just right, I foresee no problems.