Crowder for President
- Thread starter Crowderfarms
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Medic24
Well-known member
Works for me! Lots o' money and little responsiblities! yeah! ;-) :cboy:
Jake
Well-known member
Now Crowder I'm gone for a couple weeks and I don't get an appointment? that just breaks my little heart. 
Ryder
Well-known member
Since I am going to be heading up ATF in the Crowder administration, the agenda I am going to submit includes:
1. Alcohol-Do away with the alcohol tax. It hurts consumption.
2. Tobacco-Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
3.Firearms-Institute a strict policy of gun control. Anyone that is having a problem with gun control will be issued ammo at gov. expense for additional practice.
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1. Alcohol-Do away with the alcohol tax. It hurts consumption.
2. Tobacco-Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
3.Firearms-Institute a strict policy of gun control. Anyone that is having a problem with gun control will be issued ammo at gov. expense for additional practice.
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Crowderfarms
Well-known member
Ryder, Now that was great. I knew there was a good reason I appointed you to the ATF.Have you read my memo about deporting the Anti-Gunners?
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Crowderfarms
Well-known member
Jake, I'm sorry. Kind of an out of sight out of mind thing.I have mamnaged to find you a position. You will be in charge of "Rebel House" security. I've had numerous calls from a woman who only identifies herself as Hillary, making threats towards Flaboy for conducting interviews with Hooters waitresses, and velvet pole dancers as Interns. She says since a guy named Bill has got wind of this going on, she cant control him.This woman has been labeled dangerous by intelligence.Jake":1mbyx83f said:Now Crowder I'm gone for a couple weeks and I don't get an appointment? that just breaks my little heart.
Ah who cares what thunder thighs Hillary thinks. I know I am doing the right thing by interviewing all the Hooters girls. I mean after all they are already dressed for the weather down here. There is no place for them to hide any classified information even though I still have to search everyone of them to make sure. They are well liked. They are pleasing to look at. I have never heard a bad word about them and Hillary's husband has offered to to provide free lodging to any of them visiting his area thereby saving this new government even more of the tax payers money.
Jake
Well-known member
Crowderfarms":3ruwws4w said:Jake, I'm sorry. Kind of an out of sight out of mind thing.I have mamnaged to find you a position. You will be in charge of "Rebel House" security. I've had numerous calls from a woman who only identifies herself as Hillary, making threats towards Flaboy for conducting interviews with Hooters waitresses, and velvet pole dancers as Interns. She says since a guy named Bill has got wind of this going on, she cant control him.This woman has been labeled dangerous by intelligence.Jake":3ruwws4w said:Now Crowder I'm gone for a couple weeks and I don't get an appointment? that just breaks my little heart.
I'll look into it and get back to you. Sounds like a pretty intensive job.
sidney411
Well-known member
Hot diggity! I finally got a job! To celebrate: CDL's around the table, line em' up boys! Pres, do I have a say about those pesky speed limits too?
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Crowderfarms
Well-known member
Yep, CDL's for everybody. (Confederate Driver's License) And Speed Limits? None for any agricultural enterprise!sidney411":azifi6mr said:
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Crowderfarms
Well-known member
N/A it's all pull in, pull ahead. The Furbies will be valets.Angus Guy":4jbp8a1f said:
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Crowderfarms
Well-known member
You'd have to read the rest of the post to find out what Furbies are. A Valet is one of those boys that parks your vehicle and retrieves it for you when your ready to go.We dont have those here either, they have em' in the big city.Angus Guy":1y7oe4ei said:
Workinonit Farm
Well-known member
Crowderfarms":33hh2p5l said:
The same big city where we can run the cows and tell those city folk about all the wonderful and exciting changes that will be coming to their city?
Katherine
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Crowderfarms
Well-known member
Coming to a City near you. Folks, things are really fixin' to change.Here's the Presidential Platformobile.Ready for a speech.Workinonit Farm":1bidyqmp said:
You know Crowder, having given some serious thought to this (about 15 seconds), I think we will need to pass a law that any property zoned agriculture that is purchased or has been purchased in the last five years must be used for such. Any Ag property not being used for such will be accessed a $100/month penalty until such provisions have been met. In other words any developments built on Ag property gets torn down. Any yanks building luxury homes and parking 40 foot rolling condo's on them will be accessed this penalty. 2-3 acres with a horse will not be considered as being converted to Ag property. All proceeds from these assessments will go into a fund to offset any property taxes owed by real Ag property owners. Each will get his share every year based on the 5-100 percent rule. This will work this way, everyone will get 5% up to 100% until that years funds are gone and then you have to pay the remaining portion. There will be no favoritism to the large operator. Everyone gets the same percentage. Oh, and property that is zoned Ag and any buildings on such property will automatically receive a 50% exemption on the assessed value of said property.
All local and state laws regarding Ag restrictions will be amended to follow the new national policy. This policy will be;
1. No fence permits are required for Ag property.
2. No permits required for barns. If the barn is equipped with electrical a no charge electrical inspector will perform this inspection. This inspector will be a government employee. Any problems found in this area will be corrected by this employee at no charge to the farmer/rancher.
3. Barns can be painted any color the owner wants.
4. Owners of barns with advertising on the side will not have to pay any local, state, or national fee's for such. The barn owner gets to keep whatever he can for it.
5. All Ag operations are exempt from any state and local taxes for equipment or items purchased for said operation. No proof required.
This of course will need to meet Crowder's approval.
All local and state laws regarding Ag restrictions will be amended to follow the new national policy. This policy will be;
1. No fence permits are required for Ag property.
2. No permits required for barns. If the barn is equipped with electrical a no charge electrical inspector will perform this inspection. This inspector will be a government employee. Any problems found in this area will be corrected by this employee at no charge to the farmer/rancher.
3. Barns can be painted any color the owner wants.
4. Owners of barns with advertising on the side will not have to pay any local, state, or national fee's for such. The barn owner gets to keep whatever he can for it.
5. All Ag operations are exempt from any state and local taxes for equipment or items purchased for said operation. No proof required.
This of course will need to meet Crowder's approval.
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Crowderfarms
Well-known member
This Presidency is gonna be the biggest thing to hit this Country since Elvis, Mud Wrestling, and Strip Poker. I recently got a PM, (no that aint a Prime Minister,) that I had not picked enough women in my cabinet...Flaboy+, how are them interviews a comin'?
I am all for the Ag Incentive program.The days of the Beauracratic BS are numbered.I am drafting a flat tax for all Cattlemen and Farmers.Fifty Cents per Acre per year, on land and a flat 5% Income tax.You'll pay no Tax on any Livestock sold. If you are an importer from China, or any other Foreign Country, You'll be closing your doors real soon.You;ll be paying an impact fee just to flick the switch on your Neon signs.One more thing, Japan are you listening? You'll take our Beef, it's safe. OR You'll be eating your own Dogs, Cats, and Chinchilla McNuggets, No we wont be taking your untested Monkey Meat either.Go poison your own people.
I am all for the Ag Incentive program.The days of the Beauracratic BS are numbered.I am drafting a flat tax for all Cattlemen and Farmers.Fifty Cents per Acre per year, on land and a flat 5% Income tax.You'll pay no Tax on any Livestock sold. If you are an importer from China, or any other Foreign Country, You'll be closing your doors real soon.You;ll be paying an impact fee just to flick the switch on your Neon signs.One more thing, Japan are you listening? You'll take our Beef, it's safe. OR You'll be eating your own Dogs, Cats, and Chinchilla McNuggets, No we wont be taking your untested Monkey Meat either.Go poison your own people.
Crowder the interviews with the Hooters girls is going real well. Many want jobs so we should have no problem with the equal rights stuff.
My problem is there is just some many to visit and so little time. I mean between fondling, I mean interviewing the girls, drinking the cold beer in a glass a mug, and eating those wings, there just isn't a lot of time to make any actual selections.
Trust me though there will be NO shortage. Heck, you wouldn't believe how many blondes I have found that like to eat Crowder. They say they love Crowder even with crackers. :shock:
My problem is there is just some many to visit and so little time. I mean between fondling, I mean interviewing the girls, drinking the cold beer in a glass a mug, and eating those wings, there just isn't a lot of time to make any actual selections.
Trust me though there will be NO shortage. Heck, you wouldn't believe how many blondes I have found that like to eat Crowder. They say they love Crowder even with crackers. :shock:
