Country Sayings
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BB_Agron
Active member
"They look like they were shot at and missed and sh_ _ at and hit."
"He is educated beyond his intelligence."
"He is educated beyond his intelligence."
People who moved around too much or were shakey were said to have the; "Saint Vitus Dance", or the "Jimmy Leg"
Dishonest: Wouldn't know the truth if it hit him in the a$$.
Lied when the truth woulda served him better.
Was meaner than a nest of snakes,
Parlayed that ranch into a suitcase and a pickup truck.(went broke)
Couldn't tell his a$$ from a hole in the ground(dumb)
So ugly he would make a starvin mule back up from a barrel of oats.
Tighter than a bulls a$$ at fly time(cheap)
Dishonest: Wouldn't know the truth if it hit him in the a$$.
Lied when the truth woulda served him better.
Was meaner than a nest of snakes,
Parlayed that ranch into a suitcase and a pickup truck.(went broke)
Couldn't tell his a$$ from a hole in the ground(dumb)
So ugly he would make a starvin mule back up from a barrel of oats.
Tighter than a bulls a$$ at fly time(cheap)
Gelbvieh 5
Well-known member
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dun":2owmrs0h said:
Ain't that the truth
bigbull338
Well-known member
how about blowing smoke an belching fire.means you been working yourself to death.
Crackerplease
Well-known member
Happy as a dead pig in the sunshine.
Miss Daisy
Well-known member
he don't know whether to $hi+ or wind his watch
Useless as a screen door on a submarine
Couldn't find there way out of a wet paper bag. ( Dumb)
They are so ugly they would back a buzzard off a meat wagon.
Its better to set there and look stupid and to open your mouth and prove it. My Granddad and Dad both told me that one.
Better than Gov. Cheese
Couldn't find there way out of a wet paper bag. ( Dumb)
They are so ugly they would back a buzzard off a meat wagon.
Its better to set there and look stupid and to open your mouth and prove it. My Granddad and Dad both told me that one.
Better than Gov. Cheese
TexasBred
Well-known member
The early bird gets the worm, but the 2nd rat gets the cheese.
Jogeephus
Well-known member
My wife reminded me of one yesterday. Said I was "like a bull in a china shop". 
Fraid she's right.
Fraid she's right.
TexasBred
Well-known member
Here's some Yogi Berra quotes I found:
This is like deja vu all over again."
"You can observe a lot just by watching."
"He must have made that before he died." -- Referring to a Steve McQueen movie.
"I want to thank you for making this day necessary." -- On Yogi Berra Appreciation Day in St. Louis in 1947.
"I'd find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I'd return it." -- When asked what he would do if he found a million dollars.
"Think! How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?"
"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."
"I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early."
"If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else."
"If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."
"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."
"Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."
"It was impossible to get a conversation going; everybody was talking too much."
"Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hitting."
"A nickel isn't worth a dime today."
"Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded."
"It gets late early out there." -- Referring to the bad sun conditions in left field at the stadium.
"Glen Cove." -- Referring to Glenn Close on a movie review television show.
Once, Yogi's wife Carmen asked, "Yogi, you are from St. Louis, we live in New Jersey, and you played ball in New York. If you go before I do, where would you like me to have you buried?" Yogi replied, "Surprise me."
"Do you mean now?" -- When asked for the time.
"I take a two hour nap, from one o'clock to four."
"If you come to a fork in the road, take it."
"You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn't enough in the second half you give what's left."
"90% of the putts that are short don't go in."
"I made a wrong mistake."
"Texas has a lot of electrical votes." -- During an election campaign, after George Bush stated that Texas was important to the election.
"Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself." -- After being told he looked cool.
"I always thought that record would stand until it was broken."
"Yeah, but we're making great time!" -- In reply to "Hey Yogi, I think we're lost."
"If the fans don't come out to the ball park, you can't stop them."
"Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel."
"It's never happened in the World Series competition, and it still hasn't."
"How long have you known me, Jack? And you still don't know how to spell my name." -- Upon receiving a check from Jack Buck made out to "bearer."
"I'd say he's done more than that." -- When asked if first baseman Don Mattingly had exceeded expectations for the current season.
"The other teams could make trouble for us if they win."
"He can run anytime he wants. I'm giving him the red light." -- On the acquisition of fleet Ricky Henderson.
"I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?"
"It ain't the heat; it's the humility."
"The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase."
"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
"I didn't really say everything I said."
This is like deja vu all over again."
"You can observe a lot just by watching."
"He must have made that before he died." -- Referring to a Steve McQueen movie.
"I want to thank you for making this day necessary." -- On Yogi Berra Appreciation Day in St. Louis in 1947.
"I'd find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I'd return it." -- When asked what he would do if he found a million dollars.
"Think! How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?"
"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."
"I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early."
"If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else."
"If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."
"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."
"Baseball is 90% mental -- the other half is physical."
"It was impossible to get a conversation going; everybody was talking too much."
"Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hitting."
"A nickel isn't worth a dime today."
"Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded."
"It gets late early out there." -- Referring to the bad sun conditions in left field at the stadium.
"Glen Cove." -- Referring to Glenn Close on a movie review television show.
Once, Yogi's wife Carmen asked, "Yogi, you are from St. Louis, we live in New Jersey, and you played ball in New York. If you go before I do, where would you like me to have you buried?" Yogi replied, "Surprise me."
"Do you mean now?" -- When asked for the time.
"I take a two hour nap, from one o'clock to four."
"If you come to a fork in the road, take it."
"You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn't enough in the second half you give what's left."
"90% of the putts that are short don't go in."
"I made a wrong mistake."
"Texas has a lot of electrical votes." -- During an election campaign, after George Bush stated that Texas was important to the election.
"Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself." -- After being told he looked cool.
"I always thought that record would stand until it was broken."
"Yeah, but we're making great time!" -- In reply to "Hey Yogi, I think we're lost."
"If the fans don't come out to the ball park, you can't stop them."
"Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel."
"It's never happened in the World Series competition, and it still hasn't."
"How long have you known me, Jack? And you still don't know how to spell my name." -- Upon receiving a check from Jack Buck made out to "bearer."
"I'd say he's done more than that." -- When asked if first baseman Don Mattingly had exceeded expectations for the current season.
"The other teams could make trouble for us if they win."
"He can run anytime he wants. I'm giving him the red light." -- On the acquisition of fleet Ricky Henderson.
"I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?"
"It ain't the heat; it's the humility."
"The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase."
"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
"I didn't really say everything I said."
I don't know about the rest of you but I have to add them as I think of them.
Shutter down Buford, she's sucking mud!!! ( phrase is used to end something, what ever you were doing or the day)
I see the short rows up a head. ( meaning all most done)
your cow will go dry ( i got told that when i was little and i would kill a frog)
Fine as snuff and not near as dusty
Ignorants manifests it self! ( this one need no Explanation!)
Shutter down Buford, she's sucking mud!!! ( phrase is used to end something, what ever you were doing or the day)
I see the short rows up a head. ( meaning all most done)
your cow will go dry ( i got told that when i was little and i would kill a frog)
Fine as snuff and not near as dusty
Ignorants manifests it self! ( this one need no Explanation!)
backhoeboogie
Well-known member
He couldn't fit an onion in a toad sack.
His work looks like hammered dog $hit.
Ya'll have already covered most of the good ones. There's a few more that come to mind that can't be mentioned in this forum.
His work looks like hammered dog $hit.
Ya'll have already covered most of the good ones. There's a few more that come to mind that can't be mentioned in this forum.
Holmesfarm
Well-known member
cleaner than a hounds tooth
TexasBred
Well-known member
"Gotta A$$ like a $40 mule" (talking about a big butted woman)
TexasBred
Well-known member
He's so skinny if he sticks his tongue out he looks like a zipper
