Country Sayings

[TexasBred]

My dad would say "That ol' gal is so big if someone told her to haul a$$ she'd have to make two trips".

you eat that and you @$$ will be big enough to land a cessna on

:lol: :lol: :lol: :clap: :clap: :clap: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[CKC1586]

my Dad commenting on a large bottom lady:

Her butt is two ax handles across.

 

[csutton]

He could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence (For someone with bad teeth)

When you asked my dad what was for supper he would reply:
$h1t on a shingle

I have a few more but not quite pc enough to type.

 

[TexasBred]

His teeth look like a burned out fence row.

It's so dry over here a grass widow won't take root

My dad giving his friends a hard time "you baptist go to the county line to do your drinking and the state line to do your gambling".

 

[VanC]

Sh!t or get off the pot.

Wake up and smell the coffee.

Happy as a clam. (never did understand that one)

 

[Calman]

As ugly as an arm load of a$$holes.

Cal

 

[csutton]

more windy than a sack full of farts

 

[Mahoney Pursley Ranch]

Shi--en in tall cotten.

 

[gerardplauche]

Used to describe upcoming trouble.

"There ain't gonna be nothing but a__holes and elbows"

 

[gerardplauche]

If something is a$$ backwards:

"The wagon is in front of the horse"
or
"The tail's wagging the dog"

 

[Auburn_Ag]

you can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear!

 

[skyline]

It's dryer than a popcorn phart.

Raining like a cow pi_ing on a flat rock.

 

[skyline]

That boy's got the world by the tail with a downhill pull. (When things are really going good for someone...)

 

[Miss Daisy]

If something is a$$ backwards:

"The wagon is in front of the horse"
or
"The tail's wagging the dog"

we say its bass ackwards

 

[iowafarmer]

That guy isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.

He is a few apples short ofa bushel.

That calf is harder to catch than a greased pig at the county fair.

 

[Lammie]

Dumber than a bag of hammers.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Not the brightest crayon in the box.

About as sharp as a bowling ball.

Shite in one hand and wish in the other and see which fill up first.

If the cows are laying down, the fish won't bite.

 

[tncattle]

OK, I normally would not post something like this but I've always thought it was just plain funny. I used to work with a guy from San Saba Tx. (I think that was the town). When it was really hot he would always say, "It's hotter than a two petered goat". Now it never really made any sense to me and he said they just always said that at home. Pretty funny, at least for me anyway.

 

[TexasBred]

For those that really had it made:

"He's riding a gravy train with biscuit wheels".

 

[skyline]

OK, I normally would not post something like this but I've always thought it was just plain funny. I used to work with a guy from San Saba Tx. (I think that was the town). When it was really hot he would always say, "It's hotter than a two petered goat". Now it never really made any sense to me and he said they just always said that at home. Pretty funny, at least for me anyway.

Had a friend tell me that he was talking to one of those call centers in India or somewhere and they were making nice and the weather came up. This isn't real funny, unless you imagine it in an Indian accent.... The guy in India says to my friend, "Yes, it's hotter than a cow on fire." Makes no sense to me, but the way my friend said it was hilarious.

 

[ElginRinger]

That dog'll hunt (good looking woman or something goes right)

I'm drinking what you're pouring ( agreeing)