16 year old daughter

[msscamp]

Like I said earlier, I have two daughters. One is an Engineer and married to an engineer. That son-in-law is one of the best kids I have ever met. That daughter I never worried about because I always knew she was going to do the right thing.

The other daughter came from the same house, ate the same food, and abided by the same rules and guidance. She is pretty much total opposite. She worried me sick. You name it, we went through it with this one. We survived. She survived.

You and my parents could probably talk for hours and hours about experiences with raising kids - your daughters sound an awful lot like me (renegade) and my younger sister (angel). :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Tod Dague]

Not always, my youngest Daughter as like me as a teen, was a goth, me one of the originals my daughter one of the comebacks, dressed in black and nails black, three earings in one ear and two in the other, none anywhere else, I have a tatoo on my ankle, my daughter never did. but we are very well adjusted adults, as I said before good jobs and marriages, it is a phase, what you dress like does not mean you are bad, just different and want to make a statement, I wonder now if it is that we are both artistic, both went to Art School and like a lot of the same things. We never smoked or done drugs, had a few bevvies but most teens do. Look through the outerclothing and see the real person.

I have heard a lot of people who dress contrary to the norms say that they were trying to make a statement but I never knew what statement they were trying to make, what statement were you trying to make?

 

[msscamp]

While that may be true Hippie Rancher there is usually a certain personality to go along with those tatooes and earings. My sister has a tattoe and her ears gauged, I can tell you all sorts of stories about her, but I won't.

Not always - I know several people who have tatoos that are highly responsible and contribute to their communities. In fact, one of my very good friends has a tatoo, maybe even 2, a piercing in a personal place that is not displayed, and she is also the Director of Operations for a payroll service bureau, earns a very respectable salary, is extremely intelligent, very knowlegedable (sp?) about a variety of things, the nicest person you would ever want to meet, responsible, and a pillar of the community. What ever happened to live and let live? Just because it is not something you are interested in, what gives you (or anyone else for that matter) the right to judge others who feel it is right for them?

 

[AngusSenorita]

I'm okay with tattoes, if it means something to you. My sister has a tree branch across her rear end.

I am bitter about that stuff because I am not proud to be related to my sister.

 

[aplusmnt]

What ever happened to live and let live? Just because it is not something you are interested in, what gives you (or anyone else for that matter) the right to judge others who feel it is right for them?

I know your comment was in direct response to angussenorita but since you included (or anyone else for that matter) I will jump in here.

Everything people do has an affect on how they are portrayed. Personally I am not talking about people that have a tattoo like a flower on their ankle, or a couple ear piercings. They fit more into that realm of norm, just reflects some changes in fads of today.

But when people align themselves far outside the realm of normality or align themselves with groups of people that have reputations well earned of radical behaviour then I will judge them. And I sure in the heck will make Judgements when it comes in regards my children and the direction they go in their lives.

The Bible says at I Cor 15:33 "Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals". Or Prov 13:20 "He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm."

Obviously God felt we should make some Judgements on who would be worthy of associating with, even points out our well being is at stake.

Now do not get me wrong, I teach my kids to just stay away from these freaky people. Do not make fun of them, do not incite them, just ignore them. I teach them to treat them as unstable and potentially bad association.

I might be wrong on some individuals, but the dangers out way the benefits and I am not going to have them hanging out with some unstable youths just to be politically correct. I would rather be biblical correct.

 

[AngusSenorita]

decent post. I try to keep an open mind when I meet someone but if you have piercings, tons of tatoos etc you are going to give someone a preconcived idea no matter what. Just like when I walk around in jeans and boots at school people will think I am a little bit hillbilly. I'm not neccesarily a hillbilly but i am more country than the rest of my school(I live in a suburb)

I am Kind of in the middle on this one, Don't judge a book by its cover but don't hang out or let your kids hang out with a person of bad influence. I know a kid who smokes pot, he is 10x smarter than me and a good person but I wouldn't let him drive me anywhere or be around him when he does smoke or drink, that only makes trouble for me.

 

[msscamp]

I am bitter about that stuff because I am not proud to be related to my sister.

I don't know your sister and I don't know the situation, but I can sure understand having family members you'd rather not have in the family - been there, done that. I also know that you and your sister are going to be sisters for a very, very long time - it would be to your advantage to try to bridge the gap because sisters are about the coolest thing God ever created. I don't know if your sister is younger or older than you but maybe, if you could try to keep an open mind and see things from her perspective, you just might be able to provide a little guidance/help/understanding/alternative viewpoint in a non-judgemental way that might be the light she's maybe been trying to find. My sister and I weren't always the friends we are today. I had the opportunity many years ago to provide her with some help and guidance, but I didn't because of resentment, anger, bitterness, and jealousy. I regret that very deeply to this day, and it took us many years to bridge that gap caused by my betrayal - please don't make the same mistake I did. I wish you and your sister the best!

 

[Hippie Rancher]

I could be wrong, but doesn't the bible also say "judge not lest ye be judged"?

 

[aplusmnt]

I could be wrong, but doesn't the bible also say "judge not lest ye be judged"?

Lots of various forms of Judgement in the bible, you have to look at the specifics.

Like do you pass Judgement on others as to rather they are worthy of receiving Gods message much like the Pharisee's did in Jesus day. Or rather they will inherit Gods Kingdom.

Maybe Judge is a harsh word maybe a person should EVALUATE the potential Good of the People we and our Children hang around with. And then decide if we or them should pass on this type of association.

Judging would be to say a Teen dressed Gothic would burn in hell, or they need to move on to some other Church they are not welcome here.......We can not do this.

Evaluating them as proper association for either our children or our selves. Not only can we perform this form of Judgement / Evaluation we are obligated as parents to do this.

Ok enough preaching, sorry if I sound abrupt but the decaying of our Family structure is something I take serious. A few years ago I even started Writing a book entitled "Where have all the Parents Gone".
[/b]

 

[Miss Daisy]

Ok enough preaching, sorry if I sound abrupt but the decaying of our Family structure is something I take serious. A few years ago I even started Writing a book entitled "Where have all the Parents Gone".
[/b]

looking forward to reading it
-Jamie

 

[dun]

Every generation parents have lamented about the conduct/appearance/behaviour of "kids today". And yet every generation rise to the challenges and become usefull and productive members of society. Some of those rebellious youths are the ones that will go on to greatness while some of the traditional ones will become leeches on society.

dun

 

[chrisy]

Not always, my youngest Daughter as like me as a teen, was a goth, me one of the originals my daughter one of the comebacks, dressed in black and nails black, three earings in one ear and two in the other, none anywhere else, I have a tatoo on my ankle, my daughter never did. but we are very well adjusted adults, as I said before good jobs and marriages, it is a phase, what you dress like does not mean you are bad, just different and want to make a statement, I wonder now if it is that we are both artistic, both went to Art School and like a lot of the same things. We never smoked or done drugs, had a few bevvies but most teens do. Look through the outerclothing and see the real person.

I have heard a lot of people who dress contrary to the norms say that they were trying to make a statement but I never knew what statement they were trying to make, what statement were you trying to make?

at the time I was trying to be different, I liked heavy rock and followed Black Sabbath (Ozzy Osbourne) and all the kids wore black it was I think to get at my Mum who wanted me to be dressed in pink all the time. something like that I can't quite remember, it's so long ago. don't know about my Daughter though as she knew I used to dress like that because of photo's.

I still went to church and helped with Sunday school, and prayer reading, the kids thought I was cool and their Mums knew me, and our Priests wife was my Mums friend, as where his children mine. It was a phase. Nothing to do with Satanisum.

and the tatoo on my ankle is a black lizzard. no flowers. most times now it is under trousers, socks and boots.

No God, No Peace, Know God, Know Peace, Have a nice day.

 

[ranchwife]

as I have read some of these posts, I suddenly have the strong urge to hug my 17 year old daughter and thank her for being the AWESOME kid she is!!! She has only had one "serious" boyfriend who was "history in a heartbeat" when he cheated on her with a "friend"!!! Though he has begged for forgiveness, she simply says "I am too young to start down that road, mom!! Forgive a cheater once and you are destined to continue that way!! NOT ME!!"....this is a girl who loves basketball, horses, her new Ariat boots and her little brothers!! She knows where she is going and where she has been and is not scared of the "real world"! Is she perfect?? No..she has also had her share of "a$$-chewing" sessions, but with all the horrible things kids can get into out there, I really do count my blessings...she is NOT in jail...she is NOT on meth or any other illegal drug....she is NOT a runaway....she is NOT standing on a street corner, therefore, I am GRATEFUL!! Sometimes, ya just gotta stand back and look at how much worse things could be!! Besides, I have a cowboy/hubby who simply LOVES to wait for her to come home with a new boyfriend for him to meet......usually sets things straight fromt he get go as to what is acceptable and what is expected!!

 

[3MR]

I guess I am the oddball, I like ink and piercings.

I try not to ever judge a book by the cover, but rather the contents. Dont want to miss a work of brilliance because the cover was weird.

 

[backhoeboogie]

I could be wrong, but doesn't the bible also say "judge not lest ye be judged"?

No. You are absolutely correct.

There is also an old saying about birds of a feather flocking too. Why would cute little song birds want to hang out with buzzards? They don't know to watch for pigeon hawks?

 

[Tod Dague]

Not always, my youngest Daughter as like me as a teen, was a goth, me one of the originals my daughter one of the comebacks, dressed in black and nails black, three earings in one ear and two in the other, none anywhere else, I have a tatoo on my ankle, my daughter never did. but we are very well adjusted adults, as I said before good jobs and marriages, it is a phase, what you dress like does not mean you are bad, just different and want to make a statement, I wonder now if it is that we are both artistic, both went to Art School and like a lot of the same things. We never smoked or done drugs, had a few bevvies but most teens do. Look through the outerclothing and see the real person.

I have heard a lot of people who dress contrary to the norms say that they were trying to make a statement but I never knew what statement they were trying to make, what statement were you trying to make?

at the time I was trying to be different, I liked heavy rock and followed Black Sabbath (Ozzy Osbourne) and all the kids wore black it was I think to get at my Mum who wanted me to be dressed in pink all the time. something like that I can't quite remember, it's so long ago. don't know about my Daughter though as she knew I used to dress like that because of photo's.

I still went to church and helped with Sunday school, and prayer reading, the kids thought I was cool and their Mums knew me, and our Priests wife was my Mums friend, as where his children mine. It was a phase. Nothing to do with Satanisum.

and the tatoo on my ankle is a black lizzard. no flowers. most times now it is under trousers, socks and boots.

No God, No Peace, Know God, Know Peace, Have a nice day.

So you were trying to be different from your Mum. Didn't figure it had anything to do with satanism. :lol:

 

[Tod Dague]

I could be wrong, but doesn't the bible also say "judge not lest ye be judged"?

It's not about judging but profiling. Dress like a thug expect to be treated like one, dress like an idiot expect to be treated like one. Personally I'd rather my children never be thought of as either or hang out with either.

If your not a thug or an idiot why in the world would you want to look like one?

 

[Caustic Burno]

I could be wrong, but doesn't the bible also say "judge not lest ye be judged"?

It's not about judging but profiling. Dress like a thug expect to be treated like one, dress like an idiot expect to be treated like one. Personally I'd rather my children never be thought of as either or hang out with either.

If your not a thug or an idiot why in the world would you want to look like one?

Well said Tod :clap: :clap:
That crap ain't flying on my place, you will abide by my rules under my roof. Now I couldn't control what they did when they got grown and left. Funny I was thought to be the meanest SOB till they got grown now I wasn't so bad. Youngest is 26 and everyone of them still are yes sir and mam.
You get out of kids what you put in them.
Not that you can't have a rebel you just have to decide you are not there friend but there Dad and make these acts costlier than they want to pay..

 

[Hippie Rancher]

I have seen plenty of thugs and idiots dressed in business clothes, western clothes, uniforms - work, cop and military, clergy costumes and so forth.

Clothes may form a first impression, true, but the person inside may indeed surprise you. I keep an open mind.

Most popular pictues of Jesus have him looking like a hippie in a dress - or a diaper. Just sayin'.

 

[Tod Dague]

I have seen plenty of thugs and idiots dressed in business clothes, western clothes, uniforms - work, cop and military, clergy costumes and so forth.

Clothes may form a first impression, true, but the person inside may indeed surprise you. I keep an open mind.

Most popular pictues of Jesus have him looking like a hippie in a dress - or a diaper. Just sayin'.

How does that change anything that we have said. Once you have remove the obvious misfits form the equation you can focus your attention on weeding out the well dress snakes. 8)

You can let your kids hang out or dress however you feel is appropriate. And I will do the same. ;-)

And in my book Jesus Christ can wear anything he wants.