16 year old daughter

[TLCfromARK]

All you can do is hope the training & examples you set while they were younger carry them through these troublesome years.

As a side note, prayer seemed to help my patience.

;-)

 

[john250]

All you can do is hope the training & examples you set while they were younger carry them through these troublesome years.

As a side note, prayer seemed to help my patience.

;-)

Prayer is certainly in order, because a lot of it is just a work of fate. Good people can have kids who really push the limits. And the lines get blurry where such is concerned. People who were kicked out of their homes have become considerable successes. With little formal education. So it isn't hopeless. You musn't keep the leash too tight. Que sera, sera.

 

[Miss Daisy]

Got a daughter like that...drawn like a magnet to the worse ar$e bag in the room. Adult woman now but still a bit on the wild side.
I'd keep an eye on her, that is something that will only go down hill as time passes if her perspective doesn't change.
My sympathy is with you...you've got a long row to hoe my firend. I'd keep her on short lead until her idea of Mr right changes.
Just my two bits worth....Dmc

I think the short lead would push her further away. She sounds like a smart girl, let her learn from her mistakes. Have faith!

 

[aplusmnt]

On a light note, that is why I start out when my kids are young pointing out and making fun of those freaks with piercings and multiple tattoos. Got to let them know they are circus freaks not upstanding people. I doubt a freaky teen has ever walked withing sight of me in the last 15 years that I did not point them out and talk to my kids about them. I got my children thinking those types are the boogyman and they will sneak in there rooms and get them at night if they talk to them.

On a more serious note, this might not work, but I kind of believe dating is an activity for finding a husband and wife, my kids do not and will not date at a young age. If they want to have a boyfriend at 14, 15, 16, 17, they are going to have to sneak around and do it like it was Drugs or Alcohol because I will not have it. Kids date to young these days!! Mine might sneak just like they might do drugs one day, but they better be very good at sneaking because I know were my kids are biggest part of 24/7.

 

[chrisy]

On a light note, that is why I start out when my kids are young pointing out and making fun of those freaks with piercings and multiple tattoos. Got to let them know they are circus freaks not upstanding people. I doubt a freaky teen has ever walked withing sight of me in the last 15 years that I did not point them out and talk to my kids about them. I got my children thinking those types are the boogyman and they will sneak in there rooms and get them at night if they talk to them.

On a more serious note, this might not work, but I kind of believe dating is an activity for finding a husband and wife, my kids do not and will not date at a young age. If they want to have a boyfriend at 14, 15, 16, 17, they are going to have to sneak around and do it like it was Drugs or Alcohol because I will not have it. Kids date to young these days!! Mine might sneak just like they might do drugs one day, but they better be very good at sneaking because I know were my kids are biggest part of 24/7.

thats easy when your kids are young, but things change when they get bigger, they develop a mind of their own and most often use it, not always to the best, but OH you have these pleasures to come enjoy them while they are small and hang on your every word, as when they hit high school, and peer pressure hits hard they met these people and change their minds, some times with the best will in the world it changes. you'll see. hope it does work out how you want, but after being a teenager yourself you should know don't bank on it.

 

[aplusmnt]

On a light note, that is why I start out when my kids are young pointing out and making fun of those freaks with piercings and multiple tattoos. Got to let them know they are circus freaks not upstanding people. I doubt a freaky teen has ever walked withing sight of me in the last 15 years that I did not point them out and talk to my kids about them. I got my children thinking those types are the boogyman and they will sneak in there rooms and get them at night if they talk to them.

On a more serious note, this might not work, but I kind of believe dating is an activity for finding a husband and wife, my kids do not and will not date at a young age. If they want to have a boyfriend at 14, 15, 16, 17, they are going to have to sneak around and do it like it was Drugs or Alcohol because I will not have it. Kids date to young these days!! Mine might sneak just like they might do drugs one day, but they better be very good at sneaking because I know were my kids are biggest part of 24/7.

thats easy when your kids are young, but things change when they get bigger, they develop a mind of their own and most often use it, not always to the best, but OH you have these pleasures to come enjoy them while they are small and hang on your every word, as when they hit high school, and peer pressure hits hard they met these people and change their minds, some times with the best will in the world it changes. you'll see. hope it does work out how you want, but after being a teenager yourself you should know don't bank on it.

Its all a crap shoot and believe you me I have my fingers crossed! But I have a Junior in High School at the moment and so far it has paid off. He has a cousin that is a grunge, Punk rocker, wears all the black finger nails etc.....I actually have to get on to my son because he wont even be civilized to his own cousin because he despises the things he does and stands for. He thinks his own cousin is the boogyman and if he talks to him he will kill him. :lol: I know I am probably cursing myself, he will probably tell me today I am going to be a grandpa :lol:

But I have lots of Nieces and Nephews that date early, allowed to be lazy and no responsibility and EVERY one is having problems that I do not have. The nephew mentioned above has long hair, his mom says it is not right to tell him how to cut it. My kids all have short hair, one year my older son wanted longer hair because the girls all liked one of his friends with bushy curly hair. My answer was nope, get your but to the barber, or get a dress on. Now short hair is his choice, he just needed to be molded into the proper way to think. That is what we do as parents. Mold their thinking process.

If we let them date when they are 13, 14, 15, 16 years old we are molding there thinking in a way wrong direction. Kind of like giving them a Gun to play with before you teach them how to use it.

 

[GMN]

On a light note, that is why I start out when my kids are young pointing out and making fun of those freaks with piercings and multiple tattoos. Got to let them know they are circus freaks not upstanding people. I doubt a freaky teen has ever walked withing sight of me in the last 15 years that I did not point them out and talk to my kids about them. I got my children thinking those types are the boogyman and they will sneak in there rooms and get them at night if they talk to them.

On a more serious note, this might not work, but I kind of believe dating is an activity for finding a husband and wife, my kids do not and will not date at a young age. If they want to have a boyfriend at 14, 15, 16, 17, they are going to have to sneak around and do it like it was Drugs or Alcohol because I will not have it. Kids date to young these days!! Mine might sneak just like they might do drugs one day, but they better be very good at sneaking because I know were my kids are biggest part of 24/7.

thats easy when your kids are young, but things change when they get bigger, they develop a mind of their own and most often use it, not always to the best, but OH you have these pleasures to come enjoy them while they are small and hang on your every word, as when they hit high school, and peer pressure hits hard they met these people and change their minds, some times with the best will in the world it changes. you'll see. hope it does work out how you want, but after being a teenager yourself you should know don't bank on it.

Its all a crap shoot and believe you me I have my fingers crossed! But I have a Junior in High School at the moment and so far it has paid off. He has a cousin that is a grunge, Punk rocker, wears all the black finger nails etc.....I actually have to get on to my son because he wont even be civilized to his own cousin because he despises the things he does and stands for. He thinks his own cousin is the boogyman and if he talks to him he will kill him. :lol: I know I am probably cursing myself, he will probably tell me today I am going to be a grandpa :lol:

But I have lots of Nieces and Nephews that date early, allowed to be lazy and no responsibility and EVERY one is having problems that I do not have. The nephew mentioned above has long hair, his mom says it is not right to tell him how to cut it. My kids all have short hair, one year my older son wanted longer hair because the girls all liked one of his friends with bushy curly hair. My answer was nope, get your but to the barber, or get a dress on. Now short hair is his choice, he just needed to be molded into the proper way to think. That is what we do as parents. Mold their thinking process.

If we let them date when they are 13, 14, 15, 16 years old we are molding there thinking in a way wrong direction. Kind of like giving them a Gun to play with before you teach them how to use it.

I think you are right on the money. This is what we do with our boys, one is 12 the other is 7, they also learn from what their parents do or don't do, sounds like yours are on the right track. I think when a child, teen has the confidence in himself, he will be able to better make decisions for himself, and not give in to peer pressure. My 12 year old is very mature for his age, he is always coming home, saying this and that about kids who are a little strange, and kids who have any kind of peircings, forget it, which isn't a big problem anyways where we live, because the schools frown on it also. I'd keep on what you are doing, and always encourage your kids and be a part of thier lives. Nowadays I think too many parents either don't care about their kids lives, too busy with their own lives, or just take the stance of wanting to be their friend. Big mistake in my book.

GMN

 

[Caustic Burno]

aplusmnt :clap: :clap: :clap:
Your a parent thats your job not to be their friend.
Hat's off need more like you.
I know times have changed since my kids were little but the job description hasn't.

 

[VanC]

I love women but I'm sure glad I didn't have to raise any! ;-)

 

[rkm]

Vanc, you don,t know what you have missed. Sometimes the ride is rocky but it but you are sorry when its over. Its been great raising children especially the girls. We raised seven 3 girls 4 boys. I wish we could do it all again.

 

[chrisy]

I have two girls one 32 and the other 29 both married, did not have an ounce of trouble with either of them, both went to University, eldest now a teacher of Geography in a big inner city school, the other is a Production Design Manager for Hallmark cards. but my Son 17 nearly 18 got in with the wrong crowd when he was 13 - 15 what a time we had of it, thank God he is over it now and has the best group of friends ever, it is not always the parents fault as we did everything the same way, in fact I think we devoted more time to our Son as we were older and had more time, even the girls looked after him from time to time. but still he went bad for a time. We look back with him now on those times and even he can see what he had done and wishes he hadn't. Must say though we were lucky he was never in trouble with the Law, but came very close on occasions. so that's why I think, peer pressure can make a difference.

 

[AngusSenorita]

CB's rule # 2 is right. My sister actually broke up with a guy because my parents liked him. I am 17 and will admit that I have no dating experiance but maybe just ignore the fact that this is the worst guy for your daughter. She will probably get tired of dating what sounds like an extremly emotionally needy boyfriend. If not try to talk some sense into her.

P.S. don't ban her from seeing him or tell her he is bad for her just yet. It won't stop her, just motivate her to see him more often if she is like the typical teen.

 

[backhoeboogie]

Like I said earlier, I have two daughters. One is an Engineer and married to an engineer. That son-in-law is one of the best kids I have ever met. That daughter I never worried about because I always knew she was going to do the right thing.

The other daughter came from the same house, ate the same food, and abided by the same rules and guidance. She is pretty much total opposite. She worried me sick. You name it, we went through it with this one. We survived. She survived.

 

[GMN]

I know times have changed since my kids were little but the job description hasn't.

EXACTLY!!

GMN

 

[Miss Daisy]

On a light note, that is why I start out when my kids are young pointing out and making fun of those freaks with piercings and multiple tattoos. Got to let them know they are circus freaks not upstanding people. I doubt a freaky teen has ever walked withing sight of me in the last 15 years that I did not point them out and talk to my kids about them. I got my children thinking those types are the boogyman and they will sneak in there rooms and get them at night if they talk to them.

On a more serious note, this might not work, but I kind of believe dating is an activity for finding a husband and wife, my kids do not and will not date at a young age. If they want to have a boyfriend at 14, 15, 16, 17, they are going to have to sneak around and do it like it was Drugs or Alcohol because I will not have it. Kids date to young these days!! Mine might sneak just like they might do drugs one day, but they better be very good at sneaking because I know were my kids are biggest part of 24/7.

Things that take you 10 years to think up, your kids will get around in 10 minutes, lol.

 

[Hippie Rancher]

aplusmnt wrote:
"On a light note, that is why I start out when my kids are young pointing out and making fun of those freaks with piercings and multiple tattoos. Got to let them know they are circus freaks not upstanding people. I doubt a freaky teen has ever walked withing sight of me in the last 15 years that I did not point them out and talk to my kids about them. I got my children thinking those types are the boogyman and they will sneak in there rooms and get them at night if they talk to them."


I hope I have taught mine to judge people on their actions and accomplishments, not the way they look or dress. All generations of teens dress to fashion and fad. The hair can be cut, the piercings taken out, the clothes changed. Even the tats can be removed or covered ... it's the person undernieath that matters.

 

[AngusSenorita]

While that may be true Hippie Rancher there is usually a certain personality to go along with those tatooes and earings. My sister has a tattoe and her ears gauged, I can tell you all sorts of stories about her, but I won't.

 

[chrisy]

Not always, my youngest Daughter as like me as a teen, was a goth, me one of the originals my daughter one of the comebacks, dressed in black and nails black, three earings in one ear and two in the other, none anywhere else, I have a tatoo on my ankle, my daughter never did. but we are very well adjusted adults, as I said before good jobs and marriages, it is a phase, what you dress like does not mean you are bad, just different and want to make a statement, I wonder now if it is that we are both artistic, both went to Art School and like a lot of the same things. We never smoked or done drugs, had a few bevvies but most teens do. Look through the outerclothing and see the real person.

 

[Miss Daisy]

Not always, my youngest Daughter as like me as a teen, was a goth, me one of the originals my daughter one of the comebacks, dressed in black and nails black, three earings in one ear and two in the other, none anywhere else, I have a tatoo on my ankle, my daughter never did. but we are very well adjusted adults, as I said before good jobs and marriages, it is a phase, what you dress like does not mean you are bad, just different and want to make a statement, I wonder now if it is that we are both artistic, both went to Art School and like a lot of the same things. We never smoked or done drugs, had a few bevvies but most teens do. Look through the outerclothing and see the real person.

:shock: I never would have guessed! I suppose people can certainly change

 

[aplusmnt]

I hope I have taught mine to judge people on their actions and accomplishments,

Me to, When them teens took the action to put on freaky Gothic clothes and Accomplished looking like some freak in a freak show I have taught my kids to Judge them.

I did not teach them to be mean to them, or make fun of them. I taught them to run from them like they were some sleazy old man offering you candy to get in their car. We as parents teach our kids not to talk to strangers or run from people offering Candy to them, but we do not teach them to run from there peers that offer some of the same threats.

Sounds like we taught our kids the same ;-)