JMJ Farms
Well-known member
Let me tell y'all a story about a stray bullet. This happened to my daddy's sister in law's stepdad's cousin's mother's boyfriend, Shermaine. He was out in the cow lot trying to pull triplets from his 1593 pound Zebu 8 year old heifer with a spanner. (He lives somewhere in Texas on a mega farm/ranch) First thing he done was put a 5x6 roll of hay in front of her. He then tied a rope to the heifers front legs, dragged her over the bale of hay and then tied her front legs to to a tree where she couldn't go down. Then he hooks a come along to his squeeze chute to hold her back legs and then hooks a logging chain around each calf's head so he could pull them all at the same time and then commenced pulling away with the spanner. Right before he pulled the triplets into six pieces he heard his neighbor shooting his Taurus Judge .308/M16/Mini 14 combo automatic lever action revolver. Bullets were bouncing off the chute and then one ricocheted off the logging chain and struck the mega ranchers champion Chowdoodle cow dog in the eye. Now keep in mind that the weekender neighbor is shooting from the other side of a mountain that is at least 9213 yards away. Anyways the Chowdoodle goes ballistic. He runs up behind the cow and bites her square in the azz (just like True Grit said "never seen a dog that couldn't bite). Then the cow nuts up, starts bucking, pulls the squeeze chute off the corral, and kicks Shermaine right in the cods. Just like that both nutz are ruptured. But it gets worse. During all the bucking, all three calves come out at once. The flying spanner is like a giant weed whacker (it's still attached to the cow remember) and while Shermaine is doubled over with his ruptured testicles, the spanner comes back around and rotary mowers him down. (This is sometimes referred to as bush hogging him down, depending on where one lives). Now he has ruptured cods, a broken arm, and a concussion. All because of some ignorant weekender.
6 months later..... The heifer bled out. Turns out it wasn't triplets but a 3 headed transgender calf that's gonna wean a 7 months an estimated impressive 1245 lbs. The Chowdoodle lost sight in both eyes. Shermaine has to have his entire business amputated and subsequently became a monk. Shermaine's wife, adniL, ran off with the weekender and took over the Megafarm/Ranch. Have you ever?
6 months later..... The heifer bled out. Turns out it wasn't triplets but a 3 headed transgender calf that's gonna wean a 7 months an estimated impressive 1245 lbs. The Chowdoodle lost sight in both eyes. Shermaine has to have his entire business amputated and subsequently became a monk. Shermaine's wife, adniL, ran off with the weekender and took over the Megafarm/Ranch. Have you ever?
