Sorry Guys...no meaness meant....

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chrisy

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A man who can dress himself without looking like Forest Gump is unquestionably gay.

Men are all the same -- they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.

Definition of a man with manners -- he gets out of the bath to pee.

Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he does.

Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men -- a woman.

There are a lot of words you can use to describe men -- strong, caring, and loving -- they'd be wrong but you can still use them.

Men are like animals -- messy, insensitive and potentially violent, but they make great pets.

Men's brains are like the prison system -- not enough cells per man.

There are only two four-letter words that are offensive to men -"don't" and "stop" (unless they're used together).

Husbands are like children -- they're fine if they're someone else's.

If a man appears sexy, caring and smart give him a day and he will be back to his usual self.

All men are like chickens with their heads cut off when they see beautiful women pass by.

If your man appears happy, excited and keeps looking at you all of a sudden he is probably checking out the women behind you.

Figuring out men is like trying to make a jigsaw puzzle in a car, once you think you have it all put together, you find another piece but you don't know where it goes.
 

alftn

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I use to think all the women in the world were alike, Put them all in a big box shake it up and pick one out cause they are all the same... Now I know better..
 

LazyARanch

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All right Alftn..... I'm gonna bite!! (mostly cuz I'm tired of waitin' on someone else to ask!)

WHAT do you mean that you thought women were all alike????? :eek: :???:

we're about as alike as chickens and triceratops.... about as alike as a raindrop and Old Faithful geyser!!

about as alike as ... snowballs and meteors!! well.... you get the picture!

(hands on hips and foot tapping.........)

I'm waiting to hear it!! :nod: :???: :???: :shock:
 

Jogeephus

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LazyARanch":6hhmbkvu said:
(hands on hips and foot tapping.........)

Was taught whenever a woman does this you are in deep mud. This body language is a dead give away that you better take your safety off or run. NO EXCEPTIONS - all woman are alike in this respect. :nod: (oh, and God forbid they cross their arms across their chest)
 

LazyARanch

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(thinking Jogeephus is a MIGHTY WISE man.....) :pretty:

A couple of things you fellas need to remember.....

#1. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. :nod:

#2. Never argue with a woman when she's tired...or when she's rested ;-)
 

FarmGirl10

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LazyARanch":3n1zi247 said:
(thinking Jogeephus is a MIGHTY WISE man.....) :pretty:

A couple of things you fellas need to remember.....

#1. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. :nod:

#2. Never argue with a woman when she's tired...or when she's rested ;-)
:nod: :nod: :nod: :nod: :nod:
 

3waycross

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chrisy":957oytt9 said:
A man who can dress himself without looking like Forest Gump is unquestionably gay.

Men are all the same -- they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.

Definition of a man with manners -- he gets out of the bath to pee.

Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he does.

Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men -- a woman.

There are a lot of words you can use to describe men -- strong, caring, and loving -- they'd be wrong but you can still use them.

Men are like animals -- messy, insensitive and potentially violent, but they make great pets.

Men's brains are like the prison system -- not enough cells per man.

There are only two four-letter words that are offensive to men -"don't" and "stop" (unless they're used together).

Husbands are like children -- they're fine if they're someone else's.

If a man appears sexy, caring and smart give him a day and he will be back to his usual self.

All men are like chickens with their heads cut off when they see beautiful women pass by.

If your man appears happy, excited and keeps looking at you all of a sudden he is probably checking out the women behind you.

Figuring out men is like trying to make a jigsaw puzzle in a car, once you think you have it all put together, you find another piece but you don't know where it goes.


GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ Chrisy who peed in your Wheaties. Is this something you have been thinkin about for a while now or did something happen to set you off
 

CKC1586

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LazyARanch":c282uj0d said:
(thinking Jogeephus is a MIGHTY WISE man.....) :pretty:

A couple of things you fellas need to remember.....

#1. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. :nod:

#2. Never argue with a woman when she's tired...or when she's rested ;-)
:lol2: :clap: :nod: ;-)
 

Calman

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LazyARanch":2d5pnies said:
(thinking Jogeephus is a MIGHTY WISE man.....) :pretty:

A couple of things you fellas need to remember.....

#1. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. :nod:

#2. Never argue with a woman when she's tired...or when she's rested ;-)

#1. I always have the last words. YES MAM!

Cal
 

S&WSigma40VEShooter

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LazyARanch":1za3ef32 said:
All right Alftn..... I'm gonna bite!! (mostly cuz I'm tired of waitin' on someone else to ask!)

WHAT do you mean that you thought women were all alike????? :eek: :???:

we're about as alike as chickens and triceratops.... about as alike as a raindrop and Old Faithful geyser!!

about as alike as ... snowballs and meteors!! well.... you get the picture!

(hands on hips and foot tapping.........)

I'm waiting to hear it!! :nod: :???: :???: :shock:


I always get the last word in on any argument.
 

backhoeboogie

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LazyARanch":2j8ywj2e said:
(thinking Jogeephus is a MIGHTY WISE man.....) :pretty:

A couple of things you fellas need to remember.....

#1. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. :nod:

#2. Never argue with a woman when she's tired...or when she's rested ;-)

You left the most important one out.

"If a man treats woman like a thoroughbred, she'll never grow in to an old nag" So don't break a leg.
 
OP
C

chrisy

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S&WSigma40VEShooter":poxs0zio said:
LazyARanch":poxs0zio said:
All right Alftn..... I'm gonna bite!! (mostly cuz I'm tired of waitin' on someone else to ask!)

WHAT do you mean that you thought women were all alike????? :eek: :???:

we're about as alike as chickens and triceratops.... about as alike as a raindrop and Old Faithful geyser!!

about as alike as ... snowballs and meteors!! well.... you get the picture!

(hands on hips and foot tapping.........)

I'm waiting to hear it!! :nod: :???: :???: :shock:



I always get the last word in on any argument.
That figures :lol: :lol:
no blonde moments, no-one got on my nerves, was sent to me and I thought it was a good one. :banana:
 

grannysoo

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Calman":2hh3k4zu said:
LazyARanch":2hh3k4zu said:
(thinking Jogeephus is a MIGHTY WISE man.....) :pretty:

A couple of things you fellas need to remember.....

#1. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. :nod:

#2. Never argue with a woman when she's tired...or when she's rested ;-)

#1. I always have the last words. YES MAM!

Cal

And all men need to remember about a woman named Bobbit. Yes Mam is the best way to end all conversations with your lady.
 

HerefordSire

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Allot of what you wrote (or copied) could explain the following:

The other day I was in my office about noon. I heard allot of racket and couldn't concentrate so strolled down the hallway to see what was going on. There is a conference room there and it was filled up with women employees. They were having a women's empowerment meeting.
 

HerefordSire

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HerefordSire":w7cre85o said:
Allot of what you wrote (or copied) could explain the following:

The other day I was in my office about noon. I heard allot of racket and couldn't concentrate so strolled down the hallway to see what was going on. There is a conference room there and it was filled up with women employees. They were having a women's empowerment meeting.


One more item....

Each year I have to sign a document outlining integrity rules, like insider trading, etc. This is the first year I can recall, where our leaders are emphasizing female discrimination and harassment. I have had attorneys coming into a firm to warn us, a couple of decades ago, but this is the first time the warnings here are being documented. Sometimes it is best not to look into a woman's eyes because they may think you have different motives. I usually look down at my shoes when I pass a woman, and say hi. I would rather keep my assets instead of sign them away to a female employee or even go to jail.


Also, if for some reason, a female employee comes into your office, leave immediately unless there is an eyewitness there that is male.
 

angie1

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HerefordSire":1q8vfcxl said:
Sometimes it is best not to look into a woman's eyes because they may think you have different motives. I usually look down at my shoes when I pass a woman, and say hi.
Anyone who maintains eye contact with you for longer than 6 seconds has one of 2 things in mind (according to research). One of them is murder.

Also, anytime 2 or more women are talking it is a womens empowerment meeting hs. Nothing new there, and is it any wonder? :help:
 

HerefordSire

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angie":32wp35g5 said:
HerefordSire":32wp35g5 said:
Sometimes it is best not to look into a woman's eyes because they may think you have different motives. I usually look down at my shoes when I pass a woman, and say hi.
Anyone who maintains eye contact with you for longer than 6 seconds has one of 2 things in mind (according to research). One of them is murder.

Also, anytime 2 or more women are talking it is a womens empowerment meeting hs. Nothing new there, and is it any wonder? :help:


I don't know much about the subjects. I know something new is happening because men at my firm are getting warned. By the way, in the women's empowerment meeting, it looked like they were all overweight eating pizza, if that makes any sense.
 

angie1

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HerefordSire":3482o1t8 said:
I don't know much about the subjects. I know something new is happening because men at my firm are getting warned. By the way, in the women's empowerment meeting, it looked like they were all overweight eating pizza, if that makes any sense.
The men at your firm should be warned. It is a serious and (due to liability) potentially career destroying issue. All it takes is one accusation, and too often the accused has the burden of proof.

As far as the fat chicks eating pizza, yeah ~ totally makes sense. Just walk away........ :lol2:
 

HerefordSire

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angie":13smbj9p said:
HerefordSire":13smbj9p said:
I don't know much about the subjects. I know something new is happening because men at my firm are getting warned. By the way, in the women's empowerment meeting, it looked like they were all overweight eating pizza, if that makes any sense.
The men at your firm should be warned. It is a serious and (due to liability) potentially career destroying issue. All it takes is one accusation, and too often the accused has the burden of proof.

As far as the fat chicks eating pizza, yeah ~ totally makes sense. Just walk away........ :lol2:

I had to go use the restroom while the meeting was going on. The restroom is right next door to the conference room where they were meeting. The reason I know many were overweight and eating pizza, is because I snuck a peak real quick. Hopefully noone saw me looking.
 
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