proper etiquette?

[GMN]

I got this cousin from way back when haven't seen her in 15 years, she lives out of state. Last week she sent me a invite to her daughters graduation party, who I do not even know. My question is do I send her daughter a gift, because we are cousins, or just a card, or nothing at all?

Gail

 

[Limomike]

hold on.. lemme ask my wife...
She said to send her enough for college tuition next ... :lol:

I vote card.

 

[Lammie]

This happend all the time. Last year my son graduated and my mom had this list of people she wanted me to send announcements to, and I wanted to let people know he had lived long enough to graduate, (!) but on the other hand, I didn't want people to think I wanted them to send him money.

Do the card, and maybe a 20.00 gift card or a check.

 

[jw]

Lammie is correct.

They will know that you know that they are alive and you enjoy their visits every 15 years or so. Twenty dollars is appropriate and should not be a terrible strain, although you are a cattle person.

 

[Victoria]

I would send just a card.

 

[millstreaminn]

Ditto. Just a card.

 

[Gate Opener]

I think it would depend on the relationship you have with her. Do you all like each other? When you see her do you just kinda say Hi and go on or talk alot? Do you get Christmas cards from her every year? I have some relatives that I don't see much that I would send something to their kid, others I wouldn't. Just depends. Go with your heart.

 

[Frankie]

I got this cousin from way back when haven't seen her in 15 years, she lives out of state. Last week she sent me a invite to her daughters graduation party, who I do not even know. My question is do I send her daughter a gift, because we are cousins, or just a card, or nothing at all?

Gail

Whatever you can live with. I get a card and $20 and send it. My conscience is clear so if they should move back into the area, I won't have to feel bad when I see them because I didn't congratulate their kid.

 

[Green Creek]

This is a sensitive subject with me. I had a sister-in-law (who is gone now) that hated me and made my life miserable. Her kids were just as bad to my kids. Now, their kids are graduating and sending announcements. I started out being polite and send money with a card. Not one thanked me so the next ones in line had to pay the price. Now I don't even acknowledge the announcement. I feel guilty but enough is enough.

 

[backhoeboogie]

We get quite a few. Not as many lately since all the kids we coached in softball and basketball have already gone thru the cycle.

The most bizarre one for me was a wedding invitation, to a California wedding, for a guy's daughter that I had never met. I barely knew the guy (from work). The invitation came in and I didn't understand. Explained to the wife that I barely knew him and had never met his wife or daughter etc. Come to find out hundreds of people from work got invitations too.

Strangely, we were expecting one from a special young lady this year and didn't get it. I keep asking the wife if it came in the mail and it hasn't. We will send the card and gift certificate anyway. Could be it is lost in the mail and I would hate to see this little sweetheart disappointed. She's a great kid and is graduating with honors.

 

[Gate Opener]

boogie I also send money to some that I don't get announcements from. I think some kids feel funny about sending them out since it is sorta expected to get a gift. I know I felt funny about it when I graduated and commented to my mom that I wasn't going to send one to certain people and she said you send them because I have sent money to everyone of their kids.

To me your wedding invitation was a plea for a gift. Don't you know they would have felt funny if all of you had shown up. Bet you wouldn't have a place to sit or any cake.

 

[mdmdogs3]

a few years ago I was planning on getting married ( :roll: )
and some of the people that I figured out were expecting an invitation really surprised me
I was adding names to the invitation list left and right
apparently I don't expect (or send) invitations as quickly as some people do -

so it isn't always that the person is wanting lots of gifts - some people think that they are closer to you than you realize

 

[cattleluvr18]

20 bucks?! we had this situation this year and only gave 10.

 

[msscamp]

I would send just a card.

That is what I would do, too.

 

[MillIronQH]

If they are citified send a card and a $20.00 TSC gift card. Even if they are country people it shold send the message and they'll about have to spend it on something useful. hehhehheh...Z

 

[Fred]

When I graduated high school I recieved a nice little book from my Great Aunt and Uncle who lived in another state. I had only seen them once at my Grandmother's (her sister) funeral a few years earlier.They wrote some nice words in it. You don't always have to send money, that book and words of encouragement meant a lot to me.

 

[GMN]

When I graduated high school I recieved a nice little book from my Great Aunt and Uncle who lived in another state. I had only seen them once at my Grandmother's (her sister) funeral a few years earlier.They wrote some nice words in it. You don't always have to send money, that book and words of encouragement meant a lot to me.

Good point, and some very good ideas.

Thanks

Gail