rockridgecattle
Well-known member
okay, I vented, i previewed and felt better. Thanks for the therapy. lol
Lammie":z12q97r9 said:Hey, I vent here all the time. I was in a funk all day yesterday because of the whole thing with my parents house and useless siblings. I had an estate sale over the weekend and neither one of them could be bothered to show up to help me. I could not even leave to get something to eat. But boy howdy, tell them there's stuff in that house they can have and they will be all over like flies on poop.
I said yesterday on the Alzheimer's boards that I was not going to tell them when Dad died, when his time comes. They never visit him anyway, like they never visited Mother, even when she was dying, so why bother after he's gone? They just came to the funeral and made a big show of it. I mean it. I'm going to see if they read it in the paper or something. I'm done with them. I can't beleive how ungrateful and greedy they are.
So vent away. You are not alone.
I'll bet you one thing---When ne passes they'll be the first to ask about the money !! :???:Lammie":28pbo0qc said:Hey, I vent here all the time. I was in a funk all day yesterday because of the whole thing with my parents house and useless siblings. I had an estate sale over the weekend and neither one of them could be bothered to show up to help me. I could not even leave to get something to eat. But boy howdy, tell them there's stuff in that house they can have and they will be all over like flies on poop.
I said yesterday on the Alzheimer's boards that I was not going to tell them when Dad died, when his time comes. They never visit him anyway, like they never visited Mother, even when she was dying, so why bother after he's gone? They just came to the funeral and made a big show of it. I mean it. I'm going to see if they read it in the paper or something. I'm done with them. I can't beleive how ungrateful and greedy they are.
So vent away. You are not alone.
rockridgecattle":17ywr60o said:Lammie":17ywr60o said:Hey, I vent here all the time. I was in a funk all day yesterday because of the whole thing with my parents house and useless siblings. I had an estate sale over the weekend and neither one of them could be bothered to show up to help me. I could not even leave to get something to eat. But boy howdy, tell them there's stuff in that house they can have and they will be all over like flies on poop.
I said yesterday on the Alzheimer's boards that I was not going to tell them when Dad died, when his time comes. They never visit him anyway, like they never visited Mother, even when she was dying, so why bother after he's gone? They just came to the funeral and made a big show of it. I mean it. I'm going to see if they read it in the paper or something. I'm done with them. I can't beleive how ungrateful and greedy they are.
So vent away. You are not alone.
Lammie, speaking as someone who is on the outs with her mother, and whose mother is dying, tell them when he passes. I know these words you speak are because you are hurt, but in the end they are family and they need to know. They need closure as well. I know they have done dumb things, hurtful things to both your parents and you. That does not excuse them. But not telling them is really bad, and I know you are not that kind of person. If you tell them, it leaves the ball in their court, and relieves you of the guilt and burden, and the anger you will feel when and after you have buried your parents. They will be accountable for their actions one day by someone...if not, really, it will come back to bite them in the butt...real good
Death seems to put things into perspective when it happens.
On a note, this was not my vent, my mother's relationship. It is a choice she has made. I have tried, and continue to try but not much i can do...
Siblings was my rant, the one sided of the relationship, how i live so far, and make a effort to see them, call them, and they have no $ to come to see me andd our farm, and can go and do things and spend like it is going out of style and yet have no money to come here. Petty in the grand scheme of things and i was really tired.
rockridgecattle":er2ds6gu said:okay, I vented, i previewed and felt better. Thanks for the therapy. lol
Lammie":263bita0 said:Thanks. I know I won't do those things, but in all honesty, I just can't understand it. I just can't see why someone can ignore their parents and help out when needed. That is what family is all about, right?
Where is my family????? Dad asks about them every time I visit and I tell him those Loving Lies about who busy they are. Everyone is too busy these days. I know that. My sister is fifteen minutes away and has not been to see him since Mom passed. Why? HOw can anyone be that selfish and self absorbed?
Anyway, we go on, don't we? I'm gonna end up in counseling before this is done.
Lammie":1rcuchga said:I called my sister and left a message, because she won't answer her phone, (I guess she's "sick" again), and told her that Dad's next care planning meeting is July 2 and that this was the time to renew my faith in her. I told her when it was, it only takes about fifteen minutes of her oh so precious time, and that if she could not bother to either be there to to call me with a valid excuse for not being there, (and valid is up to me), then she can just go get whatever else she wants from the dam house and not bother to have anything to do with either Dad or with me and not to bother coming to his funeral when he passes to make a big show, like they did at Mom's funeral. I'm done.
On the day everyone showed up to get what they wanted out of the house, you bet she was there, along with her retired husband, who could have easily been at the estate sale and didn't bother. She was crying because she could not stay and help me clean up, but, and get this, she was there before I showed up and left a list of the stuff she wanted. She had time to write the list but not to pick up a dam broom.
I don't hate her. She's my sister and I love her. I've done everything else that was hard to do, the paperwork, the appointments, the meetings, the faxes, all that stuff. All she has to do is to visit her own father and she can't do that.
I told her that I guessed that now that Dad's money is gone and all his stuff she wants is at her house, that she's washed her hands of him. He doesn't have anything left to give her but his love and that's not good enough.
Dam her anyway. I dont' hate her. I just dont want to be around her anymore. She's toxic. I can't waste my mental health on her.
Running Arrow Bill":1624i9ri said:If there is a positive relationship, enjoy and be blessed by it.
If there is a negative relationship, don't waste your time or lose sleep over it...they are not worth it...
JMHO