Menopause

[Caustic Burno]

I hate to have to admit that I basically had no symptoms going through menopause. However, I was on birth control pills for many many years to control the horrendous monthly periods I had. So the doctor changed the doses as time went on, but I stayed on them until my early 50's. They when I went off them, everything just stopped. I had 2 hot flashes... the first I couldn't figure out what was happening when I all of a sudden got hot and sweaty... thought I was getting the flu. The 2nd was about a couple weeks later, and I realized what it was from others conversations.... That was it basically. I had less energy and I have gained about 30 lbs over the last 20 years. Some I attribute to needing the ankle replaced and now the knees because it is extremely painful to walk or stand. Hopefully I will get back to being able to walk more once the knees get done, and be able to lose some of the weight from the inactivity.

I had a friend that had terrible hot flashes/sweating spells and was very moody... she would get really bitchy and then get so emotional and cry. I felt really sorry for her.
I guess that after 40 years of suffering with a miserable period, my reward was to not suffer through a miserable menopause.
I feel for you guys since I know how miserable my friend was... and her marriage did suffer through it but they managed to keep it together.

Well saddle up cause as a friend of mine said the only thing tougher than knee replacement was cervical fusion. He's had both. I have had cervical fusion and that requires you be John Wayne tough. It's not the surgery but the recovery and PT. I imagine a lot for my friend had to with being 70+.

 

[Hamiam]

I hate to have to admit that I basically had no symptoms going through menopause. However, I was on birth control pills for many many years to control the horrendous monthly periods I had. So the doctor changed the doses as time went on, but I stayed on them until my early 50's. They when I went off them, everything just stopped. I had 2 hot flashes... the first I couldn't figure out what was happening when I all of a sudden got hot and sweaty... thought I was getting the flu. The 2nd was about a couple weeks later, and I realized what it was from others conversations.... That was it basically. I had less energy and I have gained about 30 lbs over the last 20 years. Some I attribute to needing the ankle replaced and now the knees because it is extremely painful to walk or stand. Hopefully I will get back to being able to walk more once the knees get done, and be able to lose some of the weight from the inactivity.

I had a friend that had terrible hot flashes/sweating spells and was very moody... she would get really bitchy and then get so emotional and cry. I felt really sorry for her.
I guess that after 40 years of suffering with a miserable period, my reward was to not suffer through a miserable menopause.
I feel for you guys since I know how miserable my friend was... and her marriage did suffer through it but they managed to keep it together.

Have you tried the rooster comb shots in the knees? They have worked great for me for the last 3 years. I get a series of 3 every 7 months or so. I plan on putting off knee replacement as long as I can.

 

[Nick Wagner]

Thats a question I would like to ask my wife. But it wouldn't be a good idea to ask something like that.

I know this sounds silly but all kidding a side. It's better to not say anything at all. Because anything you say or do is wrong.

If I could turn the clock back, we'd be divorced. Been six years of hell and no end in sight. I'm ready to quit. You have to distance yourself emotionally in order to stay sane and trust me, there are others going through the same thing. All I'm going to say publicly.

 

[sunnyblueskies]

I am 58 years old & have been on estrogen for years. Several years ago, the doc started slowly decreasing the dose. My doctor decided it was time for me to get off them last year. I hated it! Our 39 year happy, healthy sex life, changed over night. I tried the estrogen cream & it only helped the dryness/pain complaint, not the poor libido. I went back to the doctor & said that I understand the side effects of estrogen & I accept the risk. He allowed me to go back on Premarin 0.625 mg & I have no plans of going off again. It's crazy that the men now have the little blue pill but women are expected to just deal & become the cause for a poor quality sex life. We just had our 40th anniversary.

Absolutely. I know exactly what you are talking about. They have not only the blue pill but also the Cialis and stuff. I asked my doc why women don't get something like that. Gee that would be nice.

 

[sunnyblueskies]

Thank you for sharing. Your experience is more help than i can explain. And a simple thank you doesn't begin to express my gratitude for your helping me to understand this better.

I don't think anyone can fully understand how serious of an issue menopause is until it is happening to them.

And because the severity of it can differ so much from one individual to the next. A person who has went through it with little or no problems which from what i understand is very rare. Can paint a very different picture of what it is like.

I can tell you it is VERY serious. It can change life's for the worst. It's something that every adult regardless of sex should be knowledgeable of.

The reason i say this is. Most probably over 90 %, probably a bigger percentage than that is going to go through it. It's part of life's cycle. Just like dieing. There's no getting around it.

But with menopause. Alot of women and most if not all men were never taught anything about it. Don't realize most of the the time at the beginning or on come of it that is what is happening. The woman herself doesn't know what is happening or what kind of hell she is entering into.

Most men like myself don't have a clue for the longest that something is wrong, something is troubling the wife. Until it starts getting more and more obvious.

When the mood swings start in stead of being considerate and understanding. Most men snap back, they don't realize there is alot of things going on both physically and mentally with their wife's, marking their life's hell for them. On top of that the one person they should be able to turn to the most for help is their husband. But instead of getting help and support from their husband. It ends up in arguments, feelings hurt etc... Simply because one doesn't understand or have a clue what is happening with the other.

Miss, I want to take my hat off to you for shedding some light on this for me. You sound like a very strong lady and alot of women would not have even taken the time to talk about what you have experienced.

Speaking for myself and I am sure there are alot of other men who have read your comments would say thank you for being candid, helping me understand more about what i am dealing with. And how i can help my wife more.

You are going to make me blush Sir. =)
I really commend you for bringing up the subject. As a guy in a cattle forum....... isn't that something! Menopause sucks. I hate it. I want to turn back time when I didn't have to deal with it.
You are doing the right thing. Your wife should be very proud of you. And happy, that you want to understand and help.
Kudos and hats off. Hopefully you guys can figure something out with your doc to make this a bit more pleasant....... not sure what the right word for that would be. =)

 

[504RP]

If I could turn the clock back, we'd be divorced. Been six years of hell and no end in sight. I'm ready to quit. You have to distance yourself emotionally in order to stay sane and trust me, there are others going through the same thing. All I'm going to say publicly.

Thanks for you speaking up. And i hope you can stick it out.
I have had alot of people comment here on how i am doing the right thing and how proud my wife should be of me.

Truth is if she knew I was doing what i am doing, that is asking questions, trying to figure out what is going on, what if anything I can do about it.

I am sure it would just be another reason to mae

 

[504RP]

Thanks for you speaking up. And i hope you can stick it out.
I have had alot of people comment here on how i am doing the right thing and how proud my wife should be of me.

Truth is if she knew I was doing what i am doing, that is asking questions, trying to figure out what is going on, what if anything I can do about it.

I am sure it would just be another reason to mae

Reason to make her mad

 

[504RP]

I have texted so much about this I am text out.

 

[farmerjan]

@Hamiam ; I have done the hyaluronic injections (rooster comb) a couple times with no relief at all. I have done prolotherapy, PRP (platelet rich plasma) and stem cell..... all kinds of different supplements, pain pills, physical therapy... You name it I've tried it. Even did cortisone once that there didn't seem to be anything else to try, just to see if I could get relief from the pain for a bit until the replacements.... Didn't want replacements if there was any other way. Now it is to the point that I nearly cry every time I stand up and try to walk. The ankle replacement was so successful, and there is ZERO pain in the ankle now after not being able to walk except with it turned sideways and gingerly taking small steps.... The thing with the knees is that the ankle hurt SOOO much, that I gritted through the knees because they were "not quite as bad"..... now that the ankle is good, the knees hurt twice as bad. It is a question of how soon I will be unable to walk at all. There isn't a pain pill that will touch it.... I've tried everything. So why take them if they don't help. I don't need to be feeling light headed and nauseous all the time for no relief.
The surgeon said I will hate him for the first week to 10 days, then I will be so glad that I did it. I intend to go into a rehab for the allowed 18-20 days after the surgery.... they will make me do the PT and will be there to help with whatever I need for the pain. But my PT now says that his mom did so good with this dr and the Mako procedure that they did, that he thinks I will be a very good candidate. All I know at this point is that I can barely walk now..... it has got to get better.

 

[Caustic Burno]

Reason to make her mad

Well tell her to wait for the grumpy old man syndrome to come. I don't remember the percentage at 70 it seems to start kick in fast .There are a lot of factors in play. Usually two types the combative and the fearful.
There is some data the combative live longer.
From what I have read the mortality clock really starts ticking loud for those with health issues. Saw it with my dad around 75 loss of confidence in abilities, fearful of certain situations.
"But around age 70, life — or at least the perception of happiness — begins to go downhill."

 

[504RP]

Well tell her to wait for the grumpy old man syndrome to come. I don't remember the percentage at 70 it seems to start kick in fast .There are a lot of factors in play. Usually two types the combative and the fearful.
There is some data the combative live longer.
From what I have read the mortality clock really starts ticking loud for those with health issues. Saw it with my dad around 75 loss of confidence in abilities, fearful of certain situations.
"But around age 70, life — or at least the perception of happiness — begins to go downhill."

I noticed things like that in older people up in their 70's. Good friends of mine. Both the husband and wife I thought the world of. You could tell they sincerely loved one another. Were married probably in their 30's. They stood behind one another regardless of any problems that came up.

The old man was in and out of the hospital in his later 60's. I don't know what changed but his wife was happy he was in the hospital. Never went to see him. When he would get to come home all the two of them done was argue. They literally hated one another.

Finally the old man was put in a nursing home in stead if going home. He was happy as could be to be in a nursing home instead of going back home.

They never divorced. His wife went to the hospital and stayed with him the day he died. Went to his funeral. She died a year later.

But the last 5 years they spent together. They hated one another.

Getting old isn't something I am looking forward too. I am already old. 60, use to think that wasn't old. Might not be ? Might be because all of the miles on me were hard ruff miles ?

Whatever it is isn't good though. Been thinking like squril. Thinking I needed to make as much money as possible so i could live descent when i got old.

Kind of ironic that when you get old and every thing important to to you family, health, etc..., all falls apart. All the money in the world can't change a thing.

 

[D2Cat]

I noticed things like that in older people up in their 70's. Good friends of mine. Both the husband and wife I thought the world of. You could tell they sincerely loved one another. Were married probably in their 30's. They stood behind one another regardless of any problems that came up.

The old man was in and out of the hospital in his later 60's. I don't know what changed but his wife was happy he was in the hospital. Never went to see him. When he would get to come home all the two of them done was argue. They literally hated one another.

Finally the old man was put in a nursing home in stead if going home. He was happy as could be to be in a nursing home instead of going back home.

They never divorced. His wife went to the hospital and stayed with him the day he died. Went to his funeral. She died a year later.

But the last 5 years they spent together. They hated one another.

Getting old isn't something I am looking forward too. I am already old. 60, use to think that wasn't old. Might not be ? Might be because all of the miles on me were hard ruff miles ?

Whatever it is isn't good though. Been thinking like squril. Thinking I needed to make as much money as possible so i could live descent when i got old.

Kind of ironic that when you get old and every thing important to to you family, health, etc..., all falls apart. All the money in the world can't change a thing.

People in their 70's and older have the appearance of not liking each other because they have had to put up with the way 30 year olds act for too long!!

 

[farmerjan]

Just a quick thought. I am not anti-establishment medicine per se.... BUT ..... I use a naturopathic woman doctor for most of my normal "female" stuff. Has your wife tried going to someone into more natural methods? Bio-dentical hormone therapy is much better for the body and does not cause the same risks of cancer and things that using the chemical stuff that most doctors prescribe.
Naturopaths are not quacks. And what they prescribe is not going to work overnight... But they will do blood work and the saliva test will give them a baseline to start to see what is way out of whack and give you a basis to start to balance things in your body.
There is one book called from Hormone He// to Hormone Well by Dr C W Randolph that you might want to read. It goes into all the subtle changes and what chemical hormone replacement therapy does as compared to Biodentical hormone replacement does.
It didn't occur to me that my very lack of major symptoms might very well be attributed to my trying to follow a more natural route over the years. The weight gain right now is due to many factors, and part of it is that with the ankle replacement and the delays with the whole "pandemic" BS , I have not been back on my normal protocol; and that I need to get back to some of the supplements I was taking and I might be able to drop a little through balancing my declining hormone levels due in part to the aging of the body.
The book is pretty good reading, and you can easily go back and reference and reread things.

Chapter in there about "andropause".... male menopause too.