TLCfromARK
Well-known member
Did you hear about the terrorists who took a whole courtroom full of lawyers hostage?
They threatened to release one every hour until their demands where met.
Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
They had pictures of lawyers on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
What are lawyers good for?
They make used car salesmen look good.
What did the lawyer name his daughter?
Sue.
What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
It takes 300,000 of them to make one human being.
What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?
Not enough cement.
What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
Skeet.
What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start!
What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
Senator.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
Your Honor.
What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer?
Chelsea.
What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?
Another lawyer.
What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
His partners.
What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?
Taller
What happens to a lawyer who jumps out of a plane at 35,000 feet without a parachute?
Who cares?
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the dog.
What's the difference between God and a lawyer?
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
Why does California have the most lawyers in the country, and New Jersey have the most toxic waste sites?
New Jersey got first choice.
You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.
;-)
They threatened to release one every hour until their demands where met.
Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
They had pictures of lawyers on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
What are lawyers good for?
They make used car salesmen look good.
What did the lawyer name his daughter?
Sue.
What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
It takes 300,000 of them to make one human being.
What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?
Not enough cement.
What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
Skeet.
What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start!
What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
Senator.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
Your Honor.
What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer?
Chelsea.
What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?
Another lawyer.
What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
His partners.
What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?
Taller
What happens to a lawyer who jumps out of a plane at 35,000 feet without a parachute?
Who cares?
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the dog.
What's the difference between God and a lawyer?
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
Why does California have the most lawyers in the country, and New Jersey have the most toxic waste sites?
New Jersey got first choice.
You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.
;-)
