Kids and Inheritance

[skyhightree1]

I have seen a few cases where parents left their kids good $$ land etc and kids blow it within a year and sell everything their parents have left them. I have been talking to the wife and told her hopefully that wont happen to us. I also told her that once they are adults making their own way we should still maintain a good savings for a rainy day but if anything we want buy it and not worry about what to leave behind for the kids. We got some good life insurance on us and items for them to inherit and thrive on so when they have found their way in life doing whatever they want to do. Does anyone else feel that way or does everyone want to save everything they can for their kids?

 

[torogmc81]

I have seen a few cases where parents left their kids good $$ land etc and kids blow it within a year and sell everything their parents have left them. I have been talking to the wife and told her hopefully that wont happen to us. I also told her that once they are adults making their own way we should still maintain a good savings for a rainy day but if anything we want buy it and not worry about what to leave behind for the kids. We got some good life insurance on us and items for them to inherit and thrive on so when they have found their way in life doing whatever they want to do. Does anyone else feel that way or does everyone want to save everything they can for their kids?

Have you ever looked into having a trust advisor?? I have a client that has been an advisor for almost 30 years, and she tells me stories of these 18-30 years that inherit "sick" amounts of money. You can give your advisor as much or as little responsibility as you want. Not sure how much a service like that costs with your bank or financial institution, but it's definitely worth at least taking a look at.

 

[Bez__]

I have seen a few cases where parents left their kids good $$ land etc and kids blow it within a year and sell everything their parents have left them. I have been talking to the wife and told her hopefully that wont happen to us. I also told her that once they are adults making their own way we should still maintain a good savings for a rainy day but if anything we want buy it and not worry about what to leave behind for the kids. We got some good life insurance on us and items for them to inherit and thrive on so when they have found their way in life doing whatever they want to do. Does anyone else feel that way or does everyone want to save everything they can for their kids?

No matter how well you plan, you can never predict.

That being said, the life insurance does indeed help level the playing field. Especially for those darned taxes, bills and such - plus one kid gets the land and the other(s) get the cash.

The only advice I can give is be sure you do your succession planning early in your life and then update it on a regular basis.

Circumstances change on a regular basis - kids mature, have children and so on.

Never make the plan and then leave it - review it regularly and do it in front of the kids - there is no need for surprises. And they might make some decent suggestions as well.

Lots of outfits out there that do this - pick one and start today.

People do not always die of old age - car accidents are a common killer and an even more common cause of family strife if there are no specific directions should you die early - and YES - it CAN happen to you!.

See it happen at least once a year in this area.

And if you have an estranged kid - you can either include this person or not - but be ready for the ones that are still talking to you to have a court battle if you leave that kid out of a big inheritance.

For me - it is me and the wife for now - we gave the kids the best start we could and then kicked them out into the real world.

We give them nothing - but the door is open if their world crashes in on them - but it better really crash because I will not take them back for anything more than a visit unless they are in dire straights.

They get nothing more until we are dead. They can pick over the bones, one will take the land and the others will take the cash from our insurance.

Bez

 

[skyhightree1]

Yall both have really great points and things to consider. I always said if one child wanted to be a farmer soon as they got a good start in adult hood give them what they are interested in if one wants just $ give that to them. I want to somehow come up with a clause that no land can be sold within 10 year and $ from estate pays the taxes etc This has been something we are always constantly trying to plan. There was a huge divide in the family when I got land and became co-owner of family farm operation and I do not want anything like that to happen with the kids. Money changes people and not always for the best. The economy made me and wife poor as joes turkey but we have bounced back and I have not changed but some do not have that discipline to not let it corrupt you.

 

[torogmc81]

Yall both have really great points and things to consider. I always said if one child wanted to be a farmer soon as they got a good start in adult hood give them what they are interested in if one wants just $ give that to them. I want to somehow come up with a clause that no land can be sold within 10 year and $ from estate pays the taxes etc This has been something we are always constantly trying to plan. There was a huge divide in the family when I got land and became co-owner of family farm operation and I do not want anything like that to happen with the kids. Money changes people and not always for the best. The economy made me and wife poor as joes turkey but we have bounced back and I have not changed but some do not have that discipline to not let it corrupt you.

I'm pretty sure you can design your trust with whatever clauses and rules, regulations, requirements as needed, however you'd like. Age restrictions I know is the most common part of a trust. It's interesting you brought this up. (I'm seriously not trying to brag about my 'clients'), but . . . I know a guy who is top dawg for our regions branch where he oversees a few dozen financial adviors for a large corporate firm. By far one of the nicest people you will meet. I talk to him every few months for a hour or so. And we talk about everything. I always make sure I learn at least one thing from him everytime. He knows we have a farm and are always looking to add land to what we have already. I was telling him how we want to buy land as close to us as possible but don't see any coming available anytime soon (because of our knowledge of the families that own the land around us and the fact we know theyre not going anywhere anytime soon, which is a positive too). Calm as can be, he says, "Justin, you know how I feel about land, best investment you can do, by far. As for it ever hitting the market. Don't worry about that and just wait with patience. People get old, people die, just a fact. And ya know, I can't tell you how many times I see these kids and families members inherit, and it takes them no time at all to sell and cash in on the land/farm or do something stupid to screw up the operation (of what was a successful operation) in no time at all. Not all the siblings of a farm family are going to want to take on the family business (especially around our parts, except for a few here or there). Next thing you know, there's land auction a half mile down the road from you. "

It's sad but he's right and it does happen a lot. So I don't blame you one bit for trying to be prepared to the max. I know it's something my wife and I need to eventually think about and start working towards. Hope it all works out for the best for you and your family. Gods Blessings!!
And sorry for the rambling ... :2cents:

 

[dun]

Screw the kids, or in our case the grand kids. Money they can have, the farm that they have no real interest in as adults will be sold, proceeds probably donated to a worthy charity like wounded warriors.
A friend of mine is one of 3 kids. He livews on the family farm as well as his brother. He is the only one intersted in the cattle. Their parents have been dead for only a couple of years. The third kid, a girl is holding out for selling the farm and splitting the money. Neither of the boys has enough money to buy the part that they live on and have been working. They've been in and out of court a loty lately. They all agreed that they would divvy up the farm into 3 arts and each would get by value one third. They agreed and signed a docuument until the daughter went home and her husband decided that he didn;t like the deal. They have another court date comming up next moneth. The lawyers fees are going to eat up a good share of what the place is worth.

 

[boondocks]

I figure with the death of the defined benefit retirement (ie, no one has a pension anymore, unless you're already retired, very close to it or a gov't worker), most of those from my generation on will be lucky to not eat Alpo for retirement. I don't expect to leave offspring much/anything; if we end up with grandkids someday, it would be nice to put a little something aside for them for college. Conversely, I hope to not have to kick in towards my elders' expenses either.

What's that book that was out a few years ago--How to Die Broke and Bounce the Check to the Undertaker?

Sounds about right...

 

[Rafter S]

I've heard of a case where a couple had a significant amount of money and was worried about it ruining their children. They set up their wills so that the amount of money the children got was directly linked to their incomes, so the more the earned on their own the more they'd get from the estate. I've always thought that might be a pretty good idea.

 

[MO_cows]

We only have 1 son, I think he will want to keep the land but if he doesn't, whoever buys it will likely love it so it's all good.

I have a cousin who inherited a pretty sizable estate, he's 50+ but blowing thru it like a 20 year old. It's sad but some kinds of stupid you just can't fix.

 

[bigbull338]

this is a great q.and its been disscussed around here meny times.and heres what weve pretty much decided put a lock on the land so it cant be sold only headed down from generation to the other.ill prolly do the reg cows the same way.i really dont know how good trusts are as i know a kid that has 1 till he is 35.but after that im betting the land will be sold and i just wish we could buy it.and put it back where it belongs.

 

[hurleyjd]

What good is anything you have worked for after you are dead do you want to dictate from the grave. Your kids and future family may have other ideas on how to make it in the world some will make it big and some will fail regardless of how you try make life easy. Older brothers girl friend could never understand why her brothers were not interested in the big ranch. Brother told her your father never let them enjoy the fruits of their labor, they were treated as the hired help all the time they were home. All property should be passed on according to strips and let the chips fall where they may. That is the way I will be handling it.

 

[hurleyjd]

Oh and another thing if you are divorced and on the second marriage you might want to check any retirement accounts, life insurance and make sure you have the beneficiary that you want to have the proceeds. Happens a lot in a divorce you never think about this at the time.

 

[Limomike]

bigbull, my neighbor did that very thing with his land. put a lock on it so it cant be sold from at least his kids and grandkids. Ours is currently in a trust, and when myself of my wife dies, it automatically goes to the other one. If both of us die at the same time, it goes to both our kids. I always said, if I'm dead, it dont matter to me what they do. Wont really know anyway...

 

[Bigfoot]

I always have the opposite opinion of everyone else on inheritance:
1. I think its silly to still be trying to control things from the grave. You had your trip thru life, it's over.
2. I don't care if my parents leave me anything, and I hope my kids feel the same way. Everybody should make their own way in life.

 

[skyhightree1]

Yall both have really great points and things to consider. I always said if one child wanted to be a farmer soon as they got a good start in adult hood give them what they are interested in if one wants just $ give that to them. I want to somehow come up with a clause that no land can be sold within 10 year and $ from estate pays the taxes etc This has been something we are always constantly trying to plan. There was a huge divide in the family when I got land and became co-owner of family farm operation and I do not want anything like that to happen with the kids. Money changes people and not always for the best. The economy made me and wife poor as joes turkey but we have bounced back and I have not changed but some do not have that discipline to not let it corrupt you.

I'm pretty sure you can design your trust with whatever clauses and rules, regulations, requirements as needed, however you'd like. Age restrictions I know is the most common part of a trust. It's interesting you brought this up. (I'm seriously not trying to brag about my 'clients'), but . . . I know a guy who is top dawg for our regions branch where he oversees a few dozen financial adviors for a large corporate firm. By far one of the nicest people you will meet. I talk to him every few months for a hour or so. And we talk about everything. I always make sure I learn at least one thing from him everytime. He knows we have a farm and are always looking to add land to what we have already. I was telling him how we want to buy land as close to us as possible but don't see any coming available anytime soon (because of our knowledge of the families that own the land around us and the fact we know theyre not going anywhere anytime soon, which is a positive too). Calm as can be, he says, "Justin, you know how I feel about land, best investment you can do, by far. As for it ever hitting the market. Don't worry about that and just wait with patience. People get old, people die, just a fact. And ya know, I can't tell you how many times I see these kids and families members inherit, and it takes them no time at all to sell and cash in on the land/farm or do something stupid to screw up the operation (of what was a successful operation) in no time at all. Not all the siblings of a farm family are going to want to take on the family business (especially around our parts, except for a few here or there). Next thing you know, there's land auction a half mile down the road from you. "

It's sad but he's right and it does happen a lot. So I don't blame you one bit for trying to be prepared to the max. I know it's something my wife and I need to eventually think about and start working towards. Hope it all works out for the best for you and your family. Gods Blessings!!
And sorry for the rambling ... :2cents:

Thanks and not rambling just informing of your perspective and experiences. :tiphat:

 

[skyhightree1]

I always have the opposite opinion of everyone else on inheritance:
1. I think its silly to still be trying to control things from the grave. You had your trip thru life, it's over.
2. I don't care if my parents leave me anything, and I hope my kids feel the same way. Everybody should make their own way in life.

I agree everyone should make their own way in life but I just want to be fair to my kids and look out for them. I always want to try to keep the farms in the family as long as possible. I guess its another part of a family legacy that I would like to leave and look out for them. Had my grandpa not given my grandmother and myself the family farms that legacy would have been lost because my mothers brothers wanted to sell it until they found out all they got was a few dollars and My grandmother and I were sole owners of the farms. Legacy means alot to me personally. I have a farm operation that I really did not think i would take over along with my current stuff I am into but I know I want the legacy to live on if it changes after im gone so be it but no one will say I just folded and sold everything for a few dollars and how hard my grandpa worked everything he had.

 

[melking]

I always have the opposite opinion of everyone else on inheritance:
1. I think its silly to still be trying to control things from the grave. You had your trip thru life, it's over.
2. I don't care if my parents leave me anything, and I hope my kids feel the same way. Everybody should make their own way in life.

I have to go with Bigfoot on this one. My boy is smart enough to do whatever is right and I wouldn't have a clue as to what that will be when I am dead. Does make it a lot easier to have only one child.

 

[RoanDurham]

There's always the very few that run into new money and come up fast, but for the most part, real wealth is acquired over generations. The families I know that have real wealth, have been wealthy for generations. A guy I work with has a picture in his office of his great grandpa playing football for SMU in the late 19 teens. These types of families had a huge headstart on most of us. I joke around with him and tell him- hell, we were still hand picking cotton for another two generations. It all comes down to what kind of legacy you want to establish.

 

[skyhightree1]

There's always the very few that run into new money and come up fast, but for the most part, real wealth is acquired over generations. The families I know that have real wealth, have been wealthy for generations. A guy I work with has a picture in his office of his great grandpa playing football for SMU in the late 19 teens. These types of families had a huge headstart on most of us. I joke around with him and tell him- be nice, we were still hand picking cotton for another two generations. It all comes down to what kind of legacy you want to establish.

You are exactly right it does come down to what kind of legacy you want to establish.

 

[turklilley]

A trust is nice, but terribly expensive for what they do. If you are young they will deplete your estate before you would die.