Hospital Chart Bloopers

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Victoria

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Who says working in a hospital can't be fun......
>
> Actual writings from hospital charts:
>
> 1. The patient refused autopsy.
>
> 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
>
> 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
>
> 4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she
> was
> very hot in bed last night.
>
> 5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a
> year.
>
> 6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
> disappeared.
> >
> 7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to
> be depressed.
>
> 8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
>
> 9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission
>
> 10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but
> forgetful.
>
> 11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
>
> 12. She is numb from her toes down.
>
> 13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
>
> 14. The skin was moist and dry.
>
> 15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
>
> 16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
>
> 17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
>
> 18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,
> until
> she got a divorce.
>
> 19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for
physical
> therapy.
>
> 20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
>
> 21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
>
> 22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
>
> 23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
>
> 24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
>
> 25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
 
YUP!!! some of my "personal" favorites for referring to patients are:

FLK---Funny-looking kid
CTD---Circling the Drain
PITA---pain in the a$$
OSHSA---Outta-State Hunter Stupid A$$es

;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)
 
I can associate with #10.

When I first went into the ER two months ago the Dr. wrote;

"60 year old male who appears older then his stated age."

We had a talk about that one.Z
 
MillIronQH":3runkdy2 said:
I can associate with #10.

When I first went into the ER two months ago the Dr. wrote;

"60 year old male who appears older then his stated age."

We had a talk about that one.Z

Ouch :shock:

That's when you write back: Doctor who appears smarter than he really is. :lol:
 
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