Hillbilly Medical Terminology

[Crowderfarms]

Benign.What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria........... ...Back door to cafeteria.
Barium................What you do with dead folks.
Cesarean Section.......A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan...............Searching for the cat.
Cauterize..........Made eye contact with her.
Colic...............A sheep dog.
Coma...............A punctuation mark.
D&C...............Where Washington is.
Dilate.............To live longer than your kids do.
ema.............Not a friend.
Fester............Quicker than someone else.
Fibula..............A small lie.
G.I. Series..... ....World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail...........What you hang your coat on.
mpotent...........Distinguished, well known.  
Labor Pain..........Getting hurt at work.
Morbid..............A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates............Cheaper than day rates. 
 Medical Staff.......A Doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a        snake.
Node....................I knew it
[                                Outpatient..............A person who has fainted. 
               [                 Pap Smear................A fatherhood test. 
                [                Pelvis...................Second cousin to Elvis
[                                Post Operative...........A letter carrier.


Terminal Illness....Getting sick at the train station
Tumor...............More than one.
Urine............Opposite of you're out. 
Varicose............Near by
 Hospital............The biggest building in town,
other than
Joe's feed warehouse or
Franks lumber mill.

 

[dun]

Is this like the guy that got a 12 lb 4 oz bass next to the boat and it got off? He knew exactly what it weighed because of the "scales" on it's back.

dun

 

[ctlbaron]

Good one Crowder.

 

[ollie]

Unless you have heard drunk men sing silent night.
Unless you have had family members too drunk to be a pal bearer
Unless you have been to at least one funeral where they played "another one bites the dust"
Unless several of your family has been involved in the unbonded whiskey trade...

I am more hillbilly than you.

Old women in bonnets smoking pipes and diping snuff.
Home made tatoos where the print gets smaller because they are running out of room as they go across their shoulder.


Stave bolts
Aunt Berthie
Uncle tater bug
Chickens in the house.
Pork and beans in the can on the wood stove.
Goats on everything.
I have seen it all!

Rattle snakes caught alive, ginseng, lye soap, trap lines, churns, beans on the fireplace, rail fences, hounds, out houses, shell shocked vets, TB sanatorium letters, every animal imaginable under the house, dish rags froze in the sink, on and on and on.

 

[Crowderfarms]

Ollie, that was good. Sounds like once again, someone has got more knowledge than they need to know about my neighbors down the Hill. I'm beginning to wonder if yall are'nt Kin. :shock:

 

[ollie]

Crowder , every hillbilly I ever talked to said their "kin" moved here from Tenn. no matter where they were currently. I just wonder what ya'll are doing over there in the Vol state that is making all the hillbillies mad where they want to leave? Revenuers on a tangent?

 

[Crowderfarms]

Crowder , every hillbilly I ever talked to said their "kin" moved here from Tenn. no matter where they were currently. I just wonder what ya'll are doing over there in the Vol state that is making all the hillbillies mad where they want to leave? Revenuers on a tangent?

Might have been that there was talk about a remake of Deliverance a while back. They needed a lot of "Extras" May also have been that overbreeding could of occured locally, and a new crop of Sisters was heard to have moved to your neck of the woods.

 

[ollie]

One crop of sisters should do us for several years.

 

[ollie]

hit es come ta me that somins of youins aint right good a speakin hillbonics. Weins, ma an I has gone and got usins two narly new seat kivers fer the outhouse. A hisin an a hersin. The outhouse sits right up er on the top banch of th hill above the crick. Th crick wherein we draw r drank in th swag of the hollar.