But imaginary role playing—in public, no less—can have very real consequences for our most significant relationships. Don't believe me? Then your significant other has never suggested that you both dress up as M&Ms. Or tried to attend a party dressed as a Playboy Bunny. Or refused to dress up at all.
Sometimes, Halloween's horrors sneak up on you. Ellyn Oaksmith, of Kirkland, Wash., once dressed up as a punk rocker, with ripped shirt, tights, scruffy Doc Martens and spiked purple hair, to attend a costume party with her boyfriend. He showed up in white painter's coveralls and cap—and proceeded to flirt with all the sexy nurses and witches at the party. "We broke up shortly after," says the 48-year-old writer.
Years ago, my mother rented a Scarlett O'Hara costume for herself, hoop skirt and all, then cajoled my father into dressing up as—what else?—Humpty Dumpty. "I just didn't see him as Rhett," she says. That was the last time he dressed up for Halloween.
What's this all about? It's simple, really. Men and women have different alter egos. Typically, men want to look strong or tough or, failing that, play the class clown. (Some just find Halloween dress-up silly, of course.) Women want to be attractive. And then there is this: Most women love to tell their men what to wear.