Got any farmin funnies?

[Wisteria Farms]

I'll start...
Husband slipped on his muckers and felt the socks that my daughter sometimes leaves behind stuck in the toe area. He thought, "oh... I'm only running over to the other barn" so he didn't stop to take them out. After a while of doing a few chores he gets back on the tractor to come home and notices that the sock in his right boot is now sitting on top his foot. He gets off the tractor, slips off the boot and out stumbles a field mouse. I told him I can't believe that sucker didn't bite him!

 

[VanC]

I think I may have told this one before, but what the heck. Many years ago when I was a teen I used to help out on my aunt & uncle's dairy-beef farm in Wisconsin. Pretty small time compared to nowadays. 44 stanchion barn with the mangers facing out and their rears facing in. Anyway, I was walking down the aisle and one of the ladies lifted her tail to crap and coughed at the same time, so I took a pretty hefty shot right in the face. Got a good taste, which really wasn't all that bad. Like my uncle said, "it's just green grass and water."

 

[Susie David]

Posted our need for a barn cat awhile ago....still don't have one.
Seems that one rainey spring afternood Susie and I were in the barn for some forgotten reason.
The rain was playing a rather seductive chorus on the tin roof and the "come hither" looks were exchanged.
I busted a bail of fresh straw and rolled out a blanket that was kept there for just such an occasion and we made ourselves a bit more comfortable.
Just as our afternoon of fun on the farm was about to head into the back strech my bride let out a holler and shot straight up....darn mouse!
Still no barn cat and still no chance of another lazy afternoon in the barn.
And thats my two bits worth....asked for or not. Dmc

 

[Wisteria Farms]

I think I may have told this one before, but what the heck. Many years ago when I was a teen I used to help out on my aunt & uncle's dairy-beef farm in Wisconsin. Pretty small time compared to nowadays. 44 stanchion barn with the mangers facing out and their rears facing in. Anyway, I was walking down the aisle and one of the ladies lifted her tail to crap and coughed at the same time, so I took a pretty hefty shot right in the face. Got a good taste, which really wasn't all that bad. Like my uncle said, "it's just green grass and water."

Van, thats a riot... I can see that happening as mine seem to always fart when they cough. haha

 

[Wisteria Farms]

Posted our need for a barn cat awhile ago....still don't have one.
Seems that one rainey spring afternood Susie and I were in the barn for some forgotten reason.
The rain was playing a rather seductive chorus on the tin roof and the "come hither" looks were exchanged.
I busted a bail of fresh straw and rolled out a blanket that was kept there for just such an occasion and we made ourselves a bit more comfortable.
Just as our afternoon of fun on the farm was about to head into the back strech my bride let out a holler and shot straight up....darn mouse!
Still no barn cat and still no chance of another lazy afternoon in the barn.
And thats my two bits worth....asked for or not. Dmc

So sorry for your loss... haha. If that happened around here I'd have about 8 sets of eyeballs staring at me... then one of the kids would holler and blow the whole deal. Good luck to ya for another rainy day!

 

[chrisy]

not really a farm one, but simular to Van C. was at the London Zoo with school on trip, and we had just entered the Elephant house, I had my back to the Elephants when one lifted his tail and I was covered from head to foot in Elephant pi**. Well needless to say that had us in laughter all day. One of the Zoo keepers took me off to have a shower and loaned me some clothes. Which I thought was nice of her....I was 16 at the time.

 

[Calman]

Was mowing the lawn one time with an old rider with yhe engine in the rear. Wasen't running right so I decided to get off and adjust the carburator a little bit. When I got off I accidentally stuck my foot under the mower deck. The blades knocked my foot out from under. I'll bet I stood there in pain for at least one minute scared to look down at my foot. When I looked down I seen a white sock and no top on my boot.
All it did was cut the top of the toe of the boot off.
Needless to say scared the peewaden outa me.

Cal

 

[hillsdown]

I'll bet you're lawn mower stops when you get off the seat now like it is supposed to for safety's sake. :roll: :roll:

You were lucky a lot of children are not so lucky to no fault of their own but their parents fiddling with things they shouldn't be touching.

 

[I luv herfrds]

OK here is mine.
Was out loading hay to feed our cows, we fed small squares back then, well since we were at the bottom of the stack there were mice running everywhere. I was stomping on them and the husbands dog was killing them all of a sudden one of those dang mice ran right up my pant leg, it was on the inside, there I was stripping off my pants and jumping around with the dog chasing me for the mouse and my husband on the ground rolling. :lol:
We have alot of great mousers around the place now.

 

[msscamp]

Posted our need for a barn cat awhile ago....still don't have one.
Seems that one rainey spring afternood Susie and I were in the barn for some forgotten reason.
The rain was playing a rather seductive chorus on the tin roof and the "come hither" looks were exchanged.
I busted a bail of fresh straw and rolled out a blanket that was kept there for just such an occasion and we made ourselves a bit more comfortable.
Just as our afternoon of fun on the farm was about to head into the back strech my bride let out a holler and shot straight up....darn mouse!
Still no barn cat and still no chance of another lazy afternoon in the barn.
And thats my two bits worth....asked for or not. Dmc

Dave, I believe I can help you out with your future romantic afternoons in the barn. I just happen to have 15 cats - yes, my 3 female barn cats all managed to have litters within weeks of each other last May (or thereabouts). I haven't seen any sign of a mouse since about the last part of July/early part of August, so I believe that I can attest to their mousing ability. The only question remaining is how many do you want, and will that be Visa, Mastercard or American Express?

 

[Susie David]

Msscamp....thanks for your gracious offer but Susie is alergic to cats so I just better keep my amorous activities confined to other places...she's not real fond of the hen house either.

No such thing as one barn cat.

Dave Mc

 

[1848]

Posted our need for a barn cat awhile ago....still don't have one.
Seems that one rainey spring afternood Susie and I were in the barn for some forgotten reason.
The rain was playing a rather seductive chorus on the tin roof and the "come hither" looks were exchanged.
I busted a bail of fresh straw and rolled out a blanket that was kept there for just such an occasion and we made ourselves a bit more comfortable.
Just as our afternoon of fun on the farm was about to head into the back strech my bride let out a holler and shot straight up....darn mouse!
Still no barn cat and still no chance of another lazy afternoon in the barn.
And thats my two bits worth....asked for or not. Dmc

Good plan, bad execution...... :lol:

Cat won't matter either.......it'll just stare....... :shock:

If you got a big tractor with a big bucket, clean it out, park it in the barn elevated to above kid height..then bust a new bale in it!.... ;-) (might have to raise it with her in it, then you will have to climb in (not meaning I know anything about the size of your wife.. :lol: :lol: )

She won't have to worry about mice as long as the bale is sorted out first.......and if the young'n walks in...you can duck down!.... ;-)

oops.....realized susie made the post.... oops!

 

[Wisteria Farms]

Our hydraulics are a little faulty...the bucket would dump us both in a fresh pile of crap.

 

[Legacy38464]

This story still makes me laugh: My wife was a city girl when I met here (never been on a farm thought milk came from the store). One afternoon at milking time she was with me when I stooped by to check on the milking and she could see the milk flowing thru the pipes and asked (not joking) when we milked the chocolate milk cows, so I showed her the Black angus across the way and said we milk them in the morning.....She's been educated over the last 15 years and pays little attention to me when I tell her something off the wall, but I sure had a lota fun at her expense.


Another funny about her (god thing she doesnt read these) My 4 year old son was with my dad a couple of weeks age and asked him if he knew everything, he said no. So my son told him "MY MOMMA DOES" :lol: :lol:

 

[angie2]

Another funny about her (god thing she doesnt read these) My 4 year old son was with my dad a couple of weeks age and asked him if he knew everything, he said no. So my son told him "MY MOMMA DOES" :lol: :lol:

You thought that was a joke? Just shows what you know about momma's ;-)

When we were kids my older sister suggested a game ~ I don't remember exactly how it went, but it required me to be tied in the barn. So she tied me to a support beam, hands behind my back and behind the beam. She then went in the house to get me some food as it was lunch time, said she'd be right back.

5 hours later, family was sitting down at the supper table to eat and my mom asked "Where is Angie?"

Yeah, and that was one of her better games...... :roll:

 

[Wisteria Farms]

This doesn't have to do with farmin but is funny and recent...

My friend had her 40th birthday party Saturday, which we attended with a group of friends we don't see very often. My husband excused himself to the restroom and came back a little flustered. He said while in there, the urinals were fairly close and all occupied. So as he's taking care of business, one of our friends leans over and says "you ever see Brokeback Mountain?". He said he zipped and RAN. I guess Byron must have seen the look on my hubby's face because he soon came out laughing....saying "I was talkin about the scenery!!!!!the scenery!!!!"

 

[Susie David]

Kind of like the two words that will clear out a men's locker room.....

 

[msscamp]

Msscamp....thanks for your gracious offer but Susie is alergic to cats so I just better keep my amorous activities confined to other places...she's not real fond of the hen house either.

Darn. Here I thought I was going to find a new home for at least one of them!

No such thing as one barn cat.

Yeah, tell me about it! :shock: :lol: I'm going to have to find a way to trap these girls and have them spayed - otherwise I will be overrun by kittens!

Dave Mc

 

[jfont]

I pulled in the driveway one night and saw something three inches round moving and reflecting my head lights back at me about six inches off the ground. Didn't have a clue what it was. When I drove up closer I saw it was a cat that got it's head stuck in a soup can it dug out the trash!