CattleAnnie
Well-known member
A few chuckles for all ages.
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New Year's Resolutions for Horses
1. * I will NOT roll in streams or try to roll when my human is on my back.
2. * I will NOT leap over large nonexistent obstacles when the whim strikes.
3. * I will NOT walk faster on the way home than I did on the way out.
4.* I promise also NOT to choose that particular time to answer nature's call.
5. * I will NOT bite my farrier's butt just because it is there.
6. * I will NOT confuse my human's blond hair for really soft hay.
7. * I will NOT wipe green slime down the back of my human's white shirt.
8 . * I will NOT blow my nose on my human.
9.* I CAN walk and potty at the same time. I can, I can, I can.
10.* I will NOT stop and potty every time I pass the same spot in the arena.
11.* I will NOT leave when my rider falls off.
12.* My stall is NOT my litter box. When I have free access to my paddock, I will NOT go back inside to potty.
13.* I will NOT try to mooch goodies off every human within a 1 mile radius.
14.* I will NOT lay totally flat out in my stall with my eyes glazed over and my legs straight out and pretend I can't hear my human frantically screaming, "Are you asleep?"
15.* I will NOT chase the ponies into the electric fence to see if it is on.
16.* I will promise NEVER to dump the wheelbarrow of manure over while a human is mucking my stall.
17.* I will NOT grab my lead rope in my mouth and attempt to lead myself.
18 . * I will NOT have an attitude problem. I won't, I won't, I won't!
19.* I will NOT pull my new shoes off the very next day just to prove that I can.
20.* I am neither a beaver nor a carpenter. I promise I won't eat or remodel the barn or the new fences.
21.* I WILL forgive my human for the very bad haircut, even though I look like a freak.
22.* I WILL accept that not every carrot is for me.
23.* I will NOT do the Arab Teleport Trick when a bad/naughty/awful Horsasaurus Monster breathes at me.
24.* I will NOT jump in the air and turn 180 degrees every time I see a bicycle.
25. * I will understand that bicycles are NOT carnivorous.
26.* I will NOT shy at familiar objects just for fun.
27.* I will NOT bite the butt of the horse in front of me during the trail ride just to say "Hi".
28 . * I WILL put my ears forward and cooperate when it comes to photos.
Take care.
~
New Year's Resolutions for Horses
1. * I will NOT roll in streams or try to roll when my human is on my back.
2. * I will NOT leap over large nonexistent obstacles when the whim strikes.
3. * I will NOT walk faster on the way home than I did on the way out.
4.* I promise also NOT to choose that particular time to answer nature's call.
5. * I will NOT bite my farrier's butt just because it is there.
6. * I will NOT confuse my human's blond hair for really soft hay.
7. * I will NOT wipe green slime down the back of my human's white shirt.
8 . * I will NOT blow my nose on my human.
9.* I CAN walk and potty at the same time. I can, I can, I can.
10.* I will NOT stop and potty every time I pass the same spot in the arena.
11.* I will NOT leave when my rider falls off.
12.* My stall is NOT my litter box. When I have free access to my paddock, I will NOT go back inside to potty.
13.* I will NOT try to mooch goodies off every human within a 1 mile radius.
14.* I will NOT lay totally flat out in my stall with my eyes glazed over and my legs straight out and pretend I can't hear my human frantically screaming, "Are you asleep?"
15.* I will NOT chase the ponies into the electric fence to see if it is on.
16.* I will promise NEVER to dump the wheelbarrow of manure over while a human is mucking my stall.
17.* I will NOT grab my lead rope in my mouth and attempt to lead myself.
18 . * I will NOT have an attitude problem. I won't, I won't, I won't!
19.* I will NOT pull my new shoes off the very next day just to prove that I can.
20.* I am neither a beaver nor a carpenter. I promise I won't eat or remodel the barn or the new fences.
21.* I WILL forgive my human for the very bad haircut, even though I look like a freak.
22.* I WILL accept that not every carrot is for me.
23.* I will NOT do the Arab Teleport Trick when a bad/naughty/awful Horsasaurus Monster breathes at me.
24.* I will NOT jump in the air and turn 180 degrees every time I see a bicycle.
25. * I will understand that bicycles are NOT carnivorous.
26.* I will NOT shy at familiar objects just for fun.
27.* I will NOT bite the butt of the horse in front of me during the trail ride just to say "Hi".
28 . * I WILL put my ears forward and cooperate when it comes to photos.
Take care.