delima

[JHH]

Oldest daughter is graduating she hasn't spoke to me for a yr except through text. The only reason she wants me to go is to give her money. She won't speak I am sure. I don't think I will go. Thoughts

 

[jltrent]

For gods sake go, you only live once, and it is your daughter. You are the parent and it should be you to act like the parent and not a kid. Also give her money if you can afford to as these kids need all the help they can get and also congratulate her for graduating. Why the animosity toward a kid you brought into this world?

 

[Jogeephus]

I agree. I don't know what could keep me from seeing mine graduate but it would have to be really really really bad.

 

[hillsdown]

My niece graduates next month too, she would give anything to have her dad there even though she had not been able to speak to him for over a year and when she finally got to see him it was too late and he was on his death bed .

Go .
Things will change when she grows up/matures and understands the whole truth of your situation with her mom . No regrets , life is too short to make up for lost time and this is an event you should definitely go to , do it for yourself if no one else .

 

[presmudjo]

You should go. It only happens once in a lifetime and she did invite you. A nice gift like a bracelet would be thoughtful. Something she can physically see and feel to know you love her. A young mind can get emptionally unglued and whatever she is dealing with should pass in time. She will remember you were there. I wouldn't fork over cash if that is what you think is the reason for the invite. Once she starts back with a relationship with you, you could offer financial help. Otherwise you may become am ATM. Just my thoughts based on family observations. Ultimately, the decision is up to you. I hope all works out well for you both.

 

[Red Bull Breeder]

Go it only happens once. Show you love her. A nice gift or cash which ever you think is right.

 

[jedstivers]

Wouldn't be a delima for me.
I don't know your situation either and not trying to judge but she might not have spoke to or text me for a year but I would have her.

 

[branguscowgirl]

I agree with the above posts. Go.
I do not have a clue what your situation is. However, I do know that teenage daughters and/or divorces can be difficult at best! I have had both. :bang:
Time may not heal all things, but it certainly changes them! Someday the two of you may need each other. And yes, as the adult you have the responsibility to follow through. She made the first move by asking you to come.

 

[piedmontese]

GO!!! She's testing you. Obviously you 2 have some sort of problem but she still wants u there. This may be your last chance to reconcile. Don't give her cash. Get her some nice jewelry.

 

[I luv herfrds]

Go. She will always remember you being there. Because believe me she will also always remember if you are not there and will have hard feelings.

 

[Nesikep]

Just remember you usually spend more time regretting the things you DIDN'T do more than the things you DID. Take this as an opportunity, no one knows what'll come from it. If you get jewelry, get an inscription on it too. I remember giving someone something really cheap.. a shot glass, but I got it nicely engraved and it really did make a nice gift in the end...

 

[dun]

I happen to agree with you. Kid needs to learn there are consequences in life.

 

[branguscowgirl]

I happen to agree with you. Kid needs to learn there are consequences in life.

This is true Dun. But we do not know the dynamics of the whole thing.
First, she texts him. Kids today think that is proper communication. It is up to the parent to teach them that it is not enough.
Second, teaching a kid that there "are consequences in life" does not usually mean with holding love. There are certain things in life that we do as parents, just because we love our children. This is one of those things.

Maybe you know something about the whole situation that we do not...........

 

[wacocowboy]

I would go but instead of cash maybe tell her you are putting money toward her college if she is going or something like that

 

[dun]

Maybe you know something about the whole situation that we do not...........

Nope, just that if this behaviour has been going on it's time it stops. A kick in rthe butt will address that.
It;s like everything else, there are 3 sides to everything. His side, her side, and the actual

 

[TexasBred]

Oldest daughter is graduating she hasn't spoke to me for a yr except through text. The only reason she wants me to go is to give her money. She won't speak I am sure. I don't think I will go. Thoughts

Absolutely go to the ceremony and take the graduation present. Be loving and sincere and let it happen. Let her know how proud you are for her. Who knows, it might be a new beginning.

 

[bigbull338]

if you dont go to your daughters graduation youll regret it.what your going through isnt easy.the kids are caught in the middle no matter what.

 

[hurleyjd]

Communication with the kids and family is not a one way street. Why not reach out to her.

 

[Bez__]

Oldest daughter is graduating she hasn't spoke to me for a yr except through text. The only reason she wants me to go is to give her money. She won't speak I am sure. I don't think I will go. Thoughts

On the face of what you have written and bringing nothing else to the table:

1. I would go

2. I would be sure to tell her that I loved her

3. I would provide no gift or cash

4. I would tell her that you will provide money for tuition should she continue on with her education - but that money will not go to her it will go straight to the college or university

5. I would not hang around afterwards other than to accomplish the above

6. Prior to leaving tell her that your door is always open to her

7. Leave with your head held high

The above is classy and you do not have to deal with any family politics - just do it and do it as above and then leave. If there is a potential to have a negative interaction with other family members - avoid them like the plague - you are not there for them - you are there for your daughter.

That way you can honestly leave yourself covered in event someone wants to drag more dirty laundry into this in later years - and who knows what the daughter will do?

Avoid the politics and be happy she has graduated.

Be happy - be safe - wish her my best as well.

Bez__

 

[JHH]

Well will probably go.

As for the story she came come to me crying telling me my ex's boyfriend hit her. I put a restraining order on him went to court and she told judge nothing happened. So she lied to me or judge. Ex's boyfriend is a felon and has been charged with battery. I do believe her and I think they got to her and threatened her. She wont talk to me I have tried to.

I think she needs to see the light and know right from wrong. They live on welfare and have state pay all bills. she wound not have got any scholorships if it wasn't for her past with cattle. She got one from cattlemans association. She doesn't even have cattle or want anything to do with them now. So I guess I am just a hard a$$ but right is right and wrong is wrong.