Daily Chuckle

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I had a random guy call me one time several years ago ( I have no idea how he got my number) he had heard that I may know how to ring pigs. He asked if I would be willing to come to his house and ring his pot bellied baby pig because the last one he had figured out how to pop up the tiles on the kitchen floor! 🤣
I never went, but died laughing after I got off the phone.
That stupid lil black mini pig did the same crap!! Root a tile right up off the floor with his tiller-nose.
He was SUPPOSED to be house broken. And he never did crap in the house.
He stayed exactly one night before I threw his arse out!

I think I remember u telling us about ringing pigs in that thread. 😆
 
That stupid lil black mini pig did the same crap!! Root a tile right up off the floor with his tiller-nose.
He was SUPPOSED to be house broken. And he never did crap in the house.
He stayed exactly one night before I threw his arse out!

I think I remember u telling us about ringing pigs in that thread. 😆
House broken or house breaker? 🤣
 
[Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green, Green Grass of Home'.

He said,"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."

"Is it common?" I asked.

"It's not unusual." he replied.


 
PAUL HARVEY'S LETTER TO HIS GRANDCHILDREN
We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.
I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches.. I really would.
I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.
I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.
And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.
It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.
I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.
When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.
I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.
On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.
If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.
I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.
When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.
I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy / girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.
I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it... And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he/she is not your friend.
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.
May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.
I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.
 
PAUL HARVEY'S LETTER TO HIS GRANDCHILDREN
We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.
I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches.. I really would.
I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.
I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.
And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.
It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.
I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.
When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.
I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.
On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.
If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.
I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.
When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.
I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy / girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.
I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it... And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he/she is not your friend.
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.
May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.
I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.
I sure miss his talks. He would make a great leader for our country.
 
An alien space ship lands on the White House lawn. We are thrilled to find the alien is very human-like and very friendly. He asks if our president can set up a meeting of the leaders of all nations of the world, which he certainly can do. So in a week there's a huge meeting with the leaders of 200 nations. Each leader has a few minute to ask whatever questions he'd like.

So eventually it gets to the Pope, leader of the independent Vatican. The Pope asks the alien if he's familiar with Jesus Christ, the savior of the universe. "Sure I know him!" the alien says. "He visited us only about two farges ago—that's about six months in your time. Great guy, Jesus!"

The Pope says "He visited you six months ago?"

"Yes!" the alien says. "He visits us every two or three years. We're always very happy to see him!"

The Pope says "He came here two thousand years ago—that's four thousand farges! And we're still waiting for him to come back! Why does he visit you so often?"

The alien says "Well we make this great chocolate on our planet. Dark chocolate. Jesus loves chocolate! We always send him away with ten pounds of chocolate. And we have a big party when he leaves."

"Chocolate?" the Pope says.

"Sure. He loves the stuff. When he visited here last, how did you send him off?"
 

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