Daily Chuckle
- Thread starter D2Cat
- Start date
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greybeard
Well-known member
I'm not exactly the Oracle at Delphi, but I foresee a problem...........
greybeard
Well-known member
What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
A brick.
Bob-s
Well-known member
Now is the time to be thinking about your med insurance...
New Medicare Part G - Nursing Home Plan
Say you are an older senior citizen and can no longer take care of yourself and the government says there is no Nursing Home care available for you.
So, what do you do? You opt for Medicare Part G.
The plan gives anyone 75 or older a gun (Part "G") and one bullet. You are allowed to shoot one worthless politician.
This means you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the Health Care you need.
Need new teeth? Need glasses? Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart? They are all covered!
No problem. As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now!
And, who will be paying for all of this
The same government that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a nursing home.
And you will get rid of a useless politician while you are at it.
Now, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any more income taxes!
Is this a great country or what?
Now that you have solved your senior financial plan, enjoy the rest of your week!
Oh, and you can still vote…..
New Medicare Part G - Nursing Home Plan
Say you are an older senior citizen and can no longer take care of yourself and the government says there is no Nursing Home care available for you.
So, what do you do? You opt for Medicare Part G.
The plan gives anyone 75 or older a gun (Part "G") and one bullet. You are allowed to shoot one worthless politician.
This means you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the Health Care you need.
Need new teeth? Need glasses? Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart? They are all covered!
No problem. As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now!
And, who will be paying for all of this
The same government that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a nursing home.
And you will get rid of a useless politician while you are at it.
Now, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any more income taxes!
Is this a great country or what?
Now that you have solved your senior financial plan, enjoy the rest of your week!
Oh, and you can still vote…..
greybeard
Well-known member
Even if/after you use the 1 bullet on yourself...
coachg
Well-known member
From the leader of the free world . 
greybeard
Well-known member
I read a library book about lubrication today.
It was in the non-friction section.
greybeard
Well-known member
greybeard
Well-known member
Or that 'lume' swamp ass deodorant stuff I see advertised on TV. (I find the commercial pretty disgusting)
greybeard
Well-known member
Rafter S
Well-known member
That one hit close to home. I don't know how many times I've been on one end of the house with something in my hand (book, beer, etc). I walk to the other end of the house for some reason, and when I get there whatever that was I had in my hand isn't there any more, and I have no idea where I put it down.
Nesikep
Well-known member
coachg
Well-known member
Rafter S
Well-known member
I ran some errands after work yesterday, so I was a little late getting home. My beautiful wife of 34 years asked how my day had been. "It was terrible!" She looked concerned and asked why. "I wasn't with you."
She hasn't laughed that hard in quite a while.
She hasn't laughed that hard in quite a while.
farmerjan
Well-known member
Doesn't look like a starving homeless dog
