Daily Chuckle
- Thread starter D2Cat
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Named'em Tamed'em
Well-known member
coachg
Well-known member
May have been posted before, but worth seeing.
Ouachita
Well-known member
That's pretty good. My wife and I compete every morning to see which one will win the cutdown contest. The makin'-up part is the highlight of any evening. She's much better at that game. I let her win every time.
greybeard
Well-known member
A man had 3 beautiful girlfriends but did not know which one to marry.
As a test, he gave each one $5,000 to see what they would do with the money.
The first girl went out and got herself a complete make-over.
She told him," I went out and got a make-over so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."
The second went out and bought him new golf clubs, an iPad and an 80 inch flatscreen tv.
She said "I bought these for you as I love you so much."
The third woman invested the money in the stock market and doubled her investment.
She returned the $5,000 to the man and reinvested the rest.
She said "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much".
The man thought long and hard about how each of his girlfriends had spent the money
and then he decided to marry the one with the biggest tits.
One of my old girlfriends was always accusing me of cheating on her.
I had to dump her.
She was startin to sound too much like my wife.
As a test, he gave each one $5,000 to see what they would do with the money.
The first girl went out and got herself a complete make-over.
She told him," I went out and got a make-over so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."
The second went out and bought him new golf clubs, an iPad and an 80 inch flatscreen tv.
She said "I bought these for you as I love you so much."
The third woman invested the money in the stock market and doubled her investment.
She returned the $5,000 to the man and reinvested the rest.
She said "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much".
The man thought long and hard about how each of his girlfriends had spent the money
and then he decided to marry the one with the biggest tits.
One of my old girlfriends was always accusing me of cheating on her.
I had to dump her.
She was startin to sound too much like my wife.
farmerjan
Well-known member
Travlr
Well-known member
What do you called a retired cowboy?
Deranged...
Deranged...
greybeard
Well-known member
I've been thinking about taking up meditation
I figure that it's better than sitting around doing nothing
I figure that it's better than sitting around doing nothing
What happens if someone hits you at high frequency?
It hertz
It hertz
greybeard
Well-known member
Even at low frequency it could be 10 times per second. ....... You'll still be moaning "Ohm my gawd that hertz. Watt was that??
CowboyRam
Well-known member
Travlr
Well-known member
Meditation might help... Ohmmmmmm, ohmmmmmmm, ohmmmmmmm
Named'em Tamed'em
Well-known member
Acupuncture yesterday
CowboyRam
Well-known member
Ouachita
Well-known member
What do you have in mind to ensure customer satisfaction?
greybeard
Well-known member
A blonde called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!' she cried..
The dispatcher said, 'Stay calm... An officer is on the way.'
A few minutes later, the officer radios in 'Disregard.' He says. 'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'
.............................................
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'Wow!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
................................................................................
My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight started...
*****************************************
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
The dispatcher said, 'Stay calm... An officer is on the way.'
A few minutes later, the officer radios in 'Disregard.' He says. 'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'
.............................................
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'Wow!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
................................................................................
My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight started...
*****************************************
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
