Come Bail me out

[CKC1586]

ive got a neice that got her degree got married worked less than 4yrs got preg an quit her job.but her hubby has a real good paying job.but the bottomline is the neice never wanted to work an only did so till she married.i doubt if she will ever take another job,but she has her degree.

Somehow, hopefully this will be the point that can get across to her.
I know I was pretty shocked to see how smart my parents got the older I got.....yup I married young to not the best choice in the world...big mistake.

 

[TexasBred]

My biggest regret in life was marrying too young (19), thought I was in love but it was lust, and lord knows THAT never lasts....

I was all set for Veterinary School, did my first year of college and then turned stupid and got married. THAT was the end of school but at least I didn't completely screw up and have kids with that jerk.... Took me less than 2 years to wise up and get rid of his useless a$$ but never did go back to school.

If I could go back NOW and kick my stupid self I sure WOULD!!! and MANY TIMES!! You can always try giving her an "incentive" for a long engagement but she might go for "noble and in love" and run off and get married anyway.... sigh.........

Sorry CB!!!

Make that your goal. It's never too late. You may not even need the degree but it would at least clear up the unfinished business.

 

[GMN]

The more you go against her the more she will want to marry this guy-Reverse psychology deosn't seem to make sense, but it does work-

 

[TexasBred]

I can understand not ageeing with the young lady's decision but I see it as her decision an noone elses. Don't know any particulars but I doubt you can use money or lack of money as a bribe. Just my thoughts.

 

[Caustic Burno]

I can understand not ageeing with the young lady's decision but I see it as her decision an noone elses. Don't know any particulars but I doubt you can use money or lack of money as a bribe. Just my thoughts.

The problem I have is throwing the scholarships away the rest I could care less.
This is an opportunity of a lifetime. Life is hard enough with out making it harder with stupid decisions.

 

[Anonymous]

Howd the talk go?

 

[GMN]

I can understand not ageeing with the young lady's decision but I see it as her decision an noone elses. Don't know any particulars but I doubt you can use money or lack of money as a bribe. Just my thoughts.

The problem I have is throwing the scholarships away the rest I could care less.
This is an opportunity of a lifetime. Life is hard enough with out making it harder with stupid decisions.

To her its not a stupid decision, if you appraoch it to her like that you will lose-and maybe lose her as well-Why can't she do both?

 

[Caustic Burno]

I can understand not ageeing with the young lady's decision but I see it as her decision an noone elses. Don't know any particulars but I doubt you can use money or lack of money as a bribe. Just my thoughts.

The problem I have is throwing the scholarships away the rest I could care less.
This is an opportunity of a lifetime. Life is hard enough with out making it harder with stupid decisions.

To her its not a stupid decision, if you appraoch it to her like that you will lose-and maybe lose her as well-Why can't she do both?

She can but since she meet him it went out the window.
Now if you want to be in my family or friend you had better get real thick skin cause you are going to hear how the cow ate the cabbage.
As a friend I don't care what you do, but if you ask my opinon your going to get it with both barrels. If you don't ask I have a full time job minding my business.

If you are one of my kids or grandkids I am not you friend I am your Dad or Grandpaw and I dam sure ain't going to sugar coat anything. Like I tell everyone of them when they pull up here if they don't like the rules here the road ain't tore up.

 

[Caustic Burno]

Howd the talk go?

They didn't come this weekend I was wrong on my dates the war party is showing up next weekend. Right in the middle of the play off's

 

[TexasBred]

CB with all due respect I'm wondering why you and the Misses are all involved in this instead of her mom and dad? I can understand it being a family decision but seldom is it an "extended family decision". My grandkids would ask me to mind my own business. I understand it's a great opportunity but it ain't the end of the world.

 

[Ouachita]

She can but since she meet him it went out the window.
Now if you want to be in my family or friend you had better get real thick skin cause you are going to hear how the cow ate the cabbage.
As a friend I don't care what you do, but if you ask my opinon your going to get it with both barrels. If you don't ask I have a full time job minding my business.

If you are one of my kids or grandkids I am not you friend I am your Dad or Grandpaw and I dam sure ain't going to sugar coat anything. Like I tell everyone of them when they pull up here if they don't like the rules here the road ain't tore up.

I thought Dad passed on a year ago, April. Danm CB, are you my dad??? If not, you're still one heck of a man. I respect you, and your attitude :clap: I do hope for the best, for you and yourn. Let us know how it works out. I have a 13 year old daughter that has had vet school on her mind since she was wearing diapers. I know all about that "not sugar coating anything". I've come to respect that

 

[Caustic Burno]

CB with all due respect I'm wondering why you and the Misses are all involved in this instead of her mom and dad? I can understand it being a family decision but seldom is it an "extended family decision". My grandkids would ask me to mind my own business. I understand it's a great opportunity but it ain't the end of the world.

Her mom and dad are divorced. Her mom is a nut, I have wanted to knock her in the head with a pine knot since my son brought her home 20 years ago. She has came to Paw and Granny for everything else especially Granny. Now Granny has put her foot down you can put your hand on the good book, carve it in stone or write in blood she ain't backing up. Now she want's our approval and is not getting it. I am your Dad or Grandpaw until they put that first shovel of dirt over me and your getting my opinion like it or not as long as I am the patriach of this family. When my dad and mom were alive we all sat down and discussed important famly matter's and there opiion's carred more weight than anybody else in the room. We have had some down right tusseles but when we walk out of a room we have always been on the same page.
No one is trying to pick her mate or telling her where to go to school, we have told her if she want's to be near him go A&M Commerce in Dallas. I have no problem with here being a stay at home mom get your education before you start having kid's. When our daughter got engaged and married wanted to know if I would continue to pay for college. I said no problem. She has a primary and secondary teaching certificate and is a stay at home mom. That is something no one can ever take away.

 

[Isomade]

Hope it works out CB. Good lord knows I'd give anything just to have one more sit-down with grandpa. Dad and I would hash things out, then he'd say "go ask your grandpa what he thinks". Grandpas word was always the end of it. It was always a gentle answer, never threatening, but it carried a ton of weight with me.

 

[bigbull338]

CB the more i read this the more i feel for you because the whole deal could blow up in your face depending on how stubborn your granddaughter is.an the sad thing is you an granny would be the loosers in the end.so better not do or say something youll regret.theres been a few times this last 2yrs i was going to show my neice an her hubby the door.because of the way they do things when they get here.an both times grandma has stopped it,because she knows i wont back up.an she figures the neice wont back up.

 

[cow pollinater]

No offense, but I'd like to see her(and him) get after it and show you that you're wrong... You're assuming that a degree is a manditory key to success and that neither of them will be successfull unless they do it your way....WRONG. I'm an example of what a scrapper can do... we can do quite well. ;-)
I believe firmly that there is nothing that will bring out the pressure to perform in a man like mouths to feed at home. He isn't capable of being a super-star unless he gets that pressure and her getting a degree that she won't use because she already wants to stay at home and be somebody's wife(even if it doesn't turn out to be HIS wife) only adds tons of debt and takes the pressure off of HIM.
Try supporting HIM. Don't hand him money, teach him how to get out there and scrap to support a family. Obviously she sees something there... Get close and find out what it is.
My wife believed in me when everyone else said I was worthless and it's made her fairly wealthy. :lol:

 

[highgrit]

C.B. Good luck on the school thing. I don't like the idea of a stay at home mom, maybe if she was 30 years old staying home would be alright. I would talk to her about how tuff it is to stay married. And that 20 is to young to have kids, and take your time with life because your still young. You C.B. have your hands full with this. I would make sure she knows you love her no matter what. I wish you the best.

 

[Caustic Burno]

No offense, but I'd like to see her(and him) get after it and show you that you're wrong... You're assuming that a degree is a manditory key to success and that neither of them will be successfull unless they do it your way....WRONG. I'm an example of what a scrapper can do... we can do quite well. ;-)
I believe firmly that there is nothing that will bring out the pressure to perform in a man like mouths to feed at home. He isn't capable of being a super-star unless he gets that pressure and her getting a degree that she won't use because she already wants to stay at home and be somebody's wife(even if it doesn't turn out to be HIS wife) only adds tons of debt and takes the pressure off of HIM.
Try supporting HIM. Don't hand him money, teach him how to get out there and scrap to support a family. Obviously she sees something there... Get close and find out what it is.
My wife believed in me when everyone else said I was worthless and it's made her fairly wealthy. :lol:

I am not worried about him I am worried about her, all it takes is one car wreck, any number of diseases and she is stuck working the midnight shift at 7-11 trying to support kids and a crippled up husband.

 

[cow pollinater]

So get disability insurance...

 

[Caustic Burno]

So get disability insurance...

For someone who is the valedictorian and had nothing but college on her mind until she meet hammerhead.

I doubt they would make the second payment on insurance.

 

[3waycross]

CB with all due respect I'm wondering why you and the Misses are all involved in this instead of her mom and dad? I can understand it being a family decision but seldom is it an "extended family decision". My grandkids would ask me to mind my own business. I understand it's a great opportunity but it ain't the end of the world.

Her mom and dad are divorced. Her mom is a nut, I have wanted to knock her in the head with a pine knot since my son brought her home 20 years ago. She has came to Paw and Granny for everything else especially Granny. Now Granny has put her foot down you can put your hand on the good book, carve it in stone or write in blood she ain't backing up. Now she want's our approval and is not getting it. I am your Dad or Grandpaw until they put that first shovel of dirt over me and your getting my opinion like it or not as long as I am the patriach of this family. When my dad and mom were alive we all sat down and discussed important famly matter's and there opiion's carred more weight than anybody else in the room. We have had some down right tusseles but when we walk out of a room we have always been on the same page.
No one is trying to pick her mate or telling her where to go to school, we have told her if she want's to be near him go A&M Commerce in Dallas. I have no problem with here being a stay at home mom get your education before you start having kid's. When our daughter got engaged and married wanted to know if I would continue to pay for college. I said no problem. She has a primary and secondary teaching certificate and is a stay at home mom. That is something no one can ever take away.

Good on ya Caustic. I remember standing in the back of a Church with my Dad at my brothers wedding. He was crying like a baby. I said Dad what's up we don't cry at weddings. He says Vic she is so worthless I don't know whether or not to give them a wedding present or use the money to have her killed.
In retrospect I sure wish he woulda gone with his gut.

Ultimately that's what you gotta do. Go with your gut and take your chances.