Come Bail me out

[GMN]

These young girls just seem to be pretty headstrong especially where men are concerned. My sister has her hands full with her 21 year old daughter in college, met this man on a online gaming site, he supposedly was in school in oregon, and was older? Long story short when summer vacation came along her daughter informed my sister that the guy was either coming to my sisters house to visit, or she was going to oregon-yep my sister freaked, because she did not take the whole thing serious, she knew nothing about this guy and she really still doesn't, becuse her daughter is 21, and headstrong. Knows my sister doesn't approve, so she keeps secrets from her now. The guy came over summer, stayed at my sisters house, and from some of the pics I saw that my niece posted on facebook, I do believe she is in way over her head with this guy-He is not in his 20's, try his 40's, he isn't a college student, he looks like a mobster-So when college started up again, the guy went back to oregon? turns out no he didn't, instead he got an apartment in the town where my niece is going to college, and that was one of the big secrets that my sister discovered-a few months after college started-Now my sister is concerned that she will drop out of college and run off with the guy-its all so very strange, I am not convinced my sister handled the whole thing correctly, her objective is not to cause waves as to not lose her daughter, but I do think she needs to check this guy out better, because I do not think he is on the up and up-yet her daughter is 21, legally an adult-so yep young girls are hard to know how to deal with some of the situations they get themselves in, because they think they know it all-and their parents/other family members do not-
I don't know how your situation will turn out CB-I hope well, I fear my nieces situation won't be smooth sailing-

 

[1982vett]

Psst GMN....Kids are leagally adults at 18

 

[Workinonit Farm]

cowpollinator, I commend you and your wife for sticking with each other through thick and thein and for especially stepping up to the plate and manning up. However, these days, you are the exception. 2 of our neighbors and the nieces of a dear friend are living examples of you being the exception. The 2 neighbors----one boy "loved" the girl, she was pregnant before graduating highschool and the delinquint boy just parties it up with his buddies and doesn't give a rat's behind about this girl he "loved". The other neighbor boy, similar deal but his parents are raising the baby. As for the friends nieces, one did marry the boy she was "in love" with,a couple of months before the baby was born. Her great grandmother is raising that baby as well as the 2nd and 3rd, while the niece/mother is working and supporting the deadbeat while he parties. Too bad she didn't finish highscool. The other niece has 3 kids being raised by 3 different people. If more folks were like you cowpollinator, the world would be a bit of a better place.

As for you CB, I think the weekend of the play-offs was not a coincidence, I'm thinking the games will be a distraction from dealing with the grandparents.

Good luck with that.

Katherine

 

[Caustic Burno]

cowpollinator, I commend you and your wife for sticking with each other through thick and thein and for especially stepping up to the plate and manning up. However, these days, you are the exception. 2 of our neighbors and the nieces of a dear friend are living examples of you being the exception. The 2 neighbors----one boy "loved" the girl, she was pregnant before graduating highschool and the delinquint boy just parties it up with his buddies and doesn't give a rat's behind about this girl he "loved". The other neighbor boy, similar deal but his parents are raising the baby. As for the friends nieces, one did marry the boy she was "in love" with,a couple of months before the baby was born. Her great grandmother is raising that baby as well as the 2nd and 3rd, while the niece/mother is working and supporting the deadbeat while he parties. Too bad she didn't finish highscool. The other niece has 3 kids being raised by 3 different people. If more folks were like you cowpollinator, the world would be a bit of a better place.

As for you CB, I think the weekend of the play-offs was not a coincidence, I'm thinking the games will be a distraction from dealing with the grandparents.

Good luck with that.

Katherine

Katerine I am pretty hard to get distracted as I am a registered horses ass. Wife claims a can of alpo came with the marriage liscense as she says I am half bird dog.

 

[GMN]

Psst GMN....Kids are leagally adults at 18

Thats just a number-legally yes, person wise they are not. Its not like when they are 17 years and 364 days-and turn 18 that they are a different person-know everything a adult of 29 or 40 knows-all this growing up takes time-best as a parent to remember that-our kids need our guidance way beyond 18

 

[backhoeboogie]

Psst GMN....Kids are leagally adults at 18

Thats just a number-legally yes, person wise they are not. Its not like when they are 17 years and 364 days-and turn 18 that they are a different person-know everything a adult of 29 or 40 knows-all this growing up takes time-best as a parent to remember that-our kids need our guidance way beyond 18

When they are 25 and strung out on meth, it doesn't do much good to call the cops in downtown when they jump out of your car. Cops are just going to tell you that you have to let 'em walk away.

 

[ChrisB]

CB,
I can't believe your as crusty in real life as you pretend to be on here; but just in case you are, I would go with the reverse psychology idea. Keep saying how much you like Hammerhead and how he reminds you so much of yourself at that age. That should make her reconsider for sure.

 

[Ryder]

CB,
I can't believe your as crusty in real life as you pretend to be on here; but just in case you are, I would go with the reverse psychology idea. Keep saying how much you like Hammerhead and how he reminds you so much of yourself at that age. That should make her reconsider for sure.

And if she calls the bluff???? :help:

 

[3waycross]

CB,
I can't believe your as crusty in real life as you pretend to be on here; but just in case you are, I would go with the reverse psychology idea. Keep saying how much you like Hammerhead and how he reminds you so much of yourself at that age. That should make her reconsider for sure.

And if she calls the bluff???? :help:

Take him hunting and don't bring him back! :mrgreen:

 

[TexasBred]

I'm going to disagree with all...Put the pocket book and the check book in a drawer and never mention them again. You can't control them with money or threat of no money. I commend her for not being for sale.

 

[WORANCH]

I'm going to disagree with all...Put the pocket book and the check book in a drawer and never mention them again. You can't control them with money or threat of no money. I commend her for not being for sale.

Good advice

 

[Ryder]

CB,
I can't believe your as crusty in real life as you pretend to be on here; but just in case you are, I would go with the reverse psychology idea. Keep saying how much you like Hammerhead and how he reminds you so much of yourself at that age. That should make her reconsider for sure.

And if she calls the bluff???? :help:

Take him hunting and don't bring him back! :mrgreen:

Like S, S, and S? :secret:

 

[hurleyjd]

I knew a couple that decided to marry she was seventeen and in college. He was twenty and in college. A lot of pressure put on her to finish her school. Any way my wife and I was this couple and have been married 50 years on June 3 of this year. We never asked anyone for any help or money. Started with nothing and have ended up very well I think. There is a time that kids have to grow up and be on their own. If they ask for advice give it to them. But not butt into their life with what you think they should do. You never know what holds for the future. Hammer head may the one wiping your butt and pushing you around in your wheel chair.

 

[3waycross]

All kidding aside....If it was me and my grandaughter I would ask him to take a quiet walk with me and ask him if he truly loved her and if I was convinced he did I would tell him he had my blessing and my support; if he loved her enough to help her achieve her full potential, and if not, then he had neither.......and leave the rest up to him!

 

[Ryder]

All kidding aside....If it was me and my grandaughter I would ask him to take a quiet walk with me and ask him if he truly loved her and if I was convinced he did I would tell him he had my blessing and my support; if he loved her enough to help her achieve her full potential, and if not, then he had neither.......and leave the rest up to him!

That is what is important imho. So many people don't consider what they might be able to achieve, just at what seems fun and easy in the short run and end up boxing themselves in. Then with the passage of time they look back and don't like what they see.

 

[Calman]

As some of y'all know I raised my 2 boys and 2 girls by myself.It was not an easy job for a single man.
I had several dissapointments while the we're teens. Both girls married young out of high school to what I thought we're scatterbrain husbands.Won't go through the minor details but will say they and their husbands struggled for a few years.Then thank goodness through the rough road they had they finally figured out they needed to do something different.My oldest daughter is now a RN and her husband has 15 yrs in at ford motor company.The youngest is a physical massage therapist,and her husband is a computer tech for one of the major oil company's.
And the boys,the oldest has been in music since high school.Started out as a DJ for a local radio station and now is a music programmer for several stations.
Youngest started pretty shakey jumping from job to job but finally setteled down to a factory that makes parts for military planes and helicopters and has been a plant superviser for about 3 years.
After they we're out of the house I remarried to a lady who was raising her grandson and helped raise him. He went to the army out of highschool spent 4years,one in afghanistan,then got out got his degree and is now working for homeland security.
So to top it all off what I'm trying to say is you can't controll what you want for your kids.All you can do is raise them to the best of your abillity,point them in the right direction and hope for the best cause the rest is up to them.
I am a proud father of all 5,but at times I sure was dissapointed in them.But when they left my house on their own I only give advise when asked and never interfered with their life.
Maybe this wasent the best way but it seemed to work pretty good for us.

And that's my story for what it's worth.I will say I feel that I am blessed with the most wonderfull kids and grandkids in the world.Life is good.

Cal

 

[Caustic Burno]

I knew a couple that decided to marry she was seventeen and in college. He was twenty and in college. A lot of pressure put on her to finish her school. Any way my wife and I was this couple and have been married 50 years on June 3 of this year. We never asked anyone for any help or money. Started with nothing and have ended up very well I think. There is a time that kids have to grow up and be on their own. If they ask for advice give it to them. But not butt into their life with what you think they should do. You never know what holds for the future. Hammer head may the one wiping your butt and pushing you around in your wheel chair.

I doubt hammerhead will be doing anything for me.
I got married at 18 and still married to the same woman. I started as a laborer and climbed the corporate ladder to being in charge. During my climb in one of the largest industrial complex's in the USA and in my dealing with employee's and the public my BS meter got very finely honed.
Wife went to college while raising kids and taking care of me that takes one tough woman. We ran a side business , she taught school as well. We worked 365 days a year to better our lives and insure our kids could start out with a decent foothold in life. We raised five kids while doing all of this so, I got a pretty dam good idea how this young marraige stuff works and what it takes to make it work.
So don't talk to me about teenage marraige and how things go I have walked that mile. Being so poor we had to move the light bulb from room to room. Very few work out as that is a rough row to hoe.
Wife and I did all this with no assistance.
Hammerhead doesn't have what it takes for a rough road the silver spoon runs to deep.

 

[TexasBred]

At least give them the opportunity to succeed or fail and if they fail then you can pull out the checkbook, shake it in their face and say "I told you so" and then throw it back in the drawer and walk out. Sure seems that would be better than "hoping they fail just because they won't let you dictate what YOU want them to do" and make everything ($$$$$) contingent on grandpa getting his way. Sorry CB but you're wrong on this one but it ain't too late.

 

[Anonymous]

When me and the wife got married we were 18. As we walked back up the aisle after saying our vows my dad stopped me and said " good luck son. Youll need it because this wont last 5 years"
Thats was 19 years ago this month. Neither side thought we would last much less amount to a hill of beans.
You may not like it Cb, but it is her choice to make. Who knows they may suprise you

 

[Caustic Burno]

At least give them the opportunity to succeed or fail and if they fail then you can pull out the checkbook, shake it in their face and say "I told you so" and then throw it back in the drawer and walk out. Sure seems that would be better than "hoping they fail just because they won't let you dictate what YOU want them to do" and make everything ($$$$$) contingent on grandpa getting his way. Sorry CB but you're wrong on this one but it ain't too late.

It won't be the first time I was wrong. I sang to loud in church once.