Come Bail me out

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Education is "Permanent"
Marriage is "Not Always Permanent"
Any living creature can make babies...doesn't take education, skill, or intelligence...

Trust the granddaugthter thinks this all through...

Best wishes!
 
Red007":2u94s6wl said:
Well, here's the input of a current vet school student. If she doesn't want to be a veterinarian, she shouldn't go to veterinary school. You have to have the drive, determination, want and almost psychotic obsession with wanting to be a veterinarian to survive veterinary school. Plus the job market for veterinarians is shrinking, more vets who would be retiring in the near future aren't, so there's fewer jobs available for us current students. I'm not advocating that she get married and settle down, I completely agree that she needs to find her own way to support her self, even if it's only for a couple years.
Good points. A case n point, a young lady who was an acquaintance of mine jumped through all kinds of hoops to get into vet school. When finally accepted she arrived in the city with boyfriend in tow. He had never even been to college and had no understanding of the life. He thought she could go to school and still have time for him.
Problems arose when reality showed that vet school took all of her time.
 
She had a four year scholastic scholarship I didn't care if she made a vet or not.
Don't loose this opportunity !!!!
She was all gung ho to go to TAMU until the boy came along.
Just get your education first then if you want to be a stay at home mom go for it.
The girl is really bright she was invited and spoke before the Texas legislature about water conservation.
She is the the valedictorian of her high school class right now unless she loose's this because hammerhead came along.
 
My wife and I both had ample opertunities to go to college and we both turned them down. We started a family fairly young instead and I went to work... I never looked back... She did once or twice but what she saw was that we were reliant on each other as a young family should be. My success is dependant on her and hers on mine. We're stuck together like glue. We'd both manage if something happened to the other one(and part of my job is to make sure that she would manage better than I would) but we are forced to be a team and that builds our marriage.
In my opinion, there is no higher calling for a woman (that chooses to do so) than that of being a housewife. There is no higher calling for a man than to be able to serve his family by providing enough for his wife to devote her time to the kids and home so that she doesn't HAVE to work if she chooses not to(home work is more than a full tme job). All of the "I have to be able to fend for myself just in case" is failure before you start. It's like signing a pre-nup... If you're already planning a back-door exit, why did you enter the building in the first place?
Give the kid a break. He might not do it YOUR way but he may just get it done his own way and they could wind up doing quite well. If her heart is set on staying home then that's the only thing that will make her happy and therefore it's the only thing that will make HIM happy as well.
 
Encourage here to at least go ahead and enter the "Pre Vet Med" program at Aggieland. That will take a couple of years and give her time to make up her mind before she applies for entrance into the School of Veterinary Medicine and takes the admission test. If accepted she can expect a min. of 4 years of he77. Don't know what the prospective groom does for a living but maybe he can support the family and allow her to go to school before starting a family.
 
I wish this gal the best, either way CB.

There's far worse things that could happen.

4 years from now she's gonna be 4 years older, that's for sure. Hopefully she'll be 4 years ahead.

Support her decisions so long as she is not breaking laws.
 
Even to handle a pre-vet courseload successfully a student has to have quite a bit of "want to" -- the pre-vet washout rate where I went to undergrad was pretty high. I think 1/10 students that started as prevet ended up applying to vet school. But, a good animal or vet science degree will at least get the other 9 students a decent job.

There's some folks in my class that are married... works fine for some, not sure it'll work so well for others. I'm told the divorce rate is high. Marriage is definitely easier for the guys that are vet students than the gals.

I still say she ought to go to college for at least a year... hopefully in the meantime she'll re-evaluate the situation and decide whether it will work or won't work... there's a lot of growing up that's done between high school and the end of college. Getting married at 18 sounds pretty scary to me.
 
milkmaid said:
Even to handle a pre-vet courseload successfully a student has to have quite a bit of "want to" -- the pre-vet washout rate where I went to undergrad was pretty high. I think 1/10 students that started as prevet ended up applying to vet school. But, a good animal or vet science degree will at least get the other 9 students a decent job.

There's some folks in my class that are married... works fine for some, not sure it'll work so well for others. I'm told the divorce rate is high. Marriage is definitely easier for the guys that are vet students than the gals.

I still say she ought to go to college for at least a year... hopefully in the meantime she'll re-evaluate the situation and decide whether it will work or won't work... there's a lot of growing up that's done between high school and the end of college. Getting married at 18 sounds pretty scary to me.[/quote]

Some good advice from someone that knows something about it.

What you need is time for this whole thing to self destruct on it's own. Try to get her started into school which is hopefully somewhat geographically away from him. When she gets to school and maybe sees another boy or two dozen that she likes, she and the old boyfriend will soon "grow apart". Most kids are motivated by something they want. I was never above finding out what that was and bribing them. You're wanting that 18 year old brain to think too far out, you're thinking 20 years out, she's thinking 20 days out. You may have to come up with some shorter term goals that she can work toward that leads her where you want to see her go. Just some thoughts from a guy that's raised a daughter and I know you've raised one too. They're all alike and their all different too, good luck.

Larry
 
Both my girls went to University and the boyfriends they had at the time they left behind and they stayed that way. As it seemed they out grew them as they got more and more into their studies they left them behind not only with nothing in common anymore but educationally, the boys thought they were inferior to them, thinking back I am glad they took the path they did. but I never interfered with what they did only listened and helped with advice where I could. Their now husbands are also Graduates, and they seem to be happier now than they ever were before.

Most of the time we don't approve of what choices our kids make, but they have to learn by their mistakes, and all we can do is be there when or if they fall on their backsides. Sometimes the mistake is the worst they will ever make and then it can turn out to be the best, but it has to be their decision and if she really thinks about it I'm sure she will make the right one.
 
In today's world an education is a priority, not a marriage. Through the years the more educated you become the less you will believe in the marriage fraternity anyway. Perhaps she would like to follow another line other than 'vet'? All I know is she should not forced to study something she does not want to study, she's too young to marry but not too young to make a decision about her educational future. Remember, It's her future, not your's - you can only guide.
 
Granny is telling her today she has choice's.
The current choice she is making we can't support and won't.
We have hunked down and chewed the fat and Granny has one severe case of the red ass.
Don't expect anymore finacial aide as the bank is closed. I am looking for the Escape to be back here as mad as that woman is.
When Granny cut's you off you have screwed up bad around here, real bad.
 
Caustic,you better prepare yourself for the next salvo. She's gonna get pregnant,reasoning that y'all won't turn your back on a grandchild. Can't suggest how to handle that.
 
ive got a neice that got her degree got married worked less than 4yrs got preg an quit her job.but her hubby has a real good paying job.but the bottomline is the neice never wanted to work an only did so till she married.i doubt if she will ever take another job,but she has her degree.
 
peg4x4":260r9kn2 said:
Caustic,you better prepare yourself for the next salvo. She's gonna get pregnant,reasoning that y'all won't turn your back on a grandchild. Can't suggest how to handle that.

I will turn it in a heartbeat ask her dad. He called his junior year spring semsester of college with a 3.0 told me he was quiting school to get married.
My reply was your grown and old enough to row your own boat. I ask him if he heard that loud noise he ask what, I said it was my wallet slamming shut. He was working and got laid off a few years later, called and said Dad I am going to need some money. My reply to him was to bring the grandkids to the house as far as I was concerned his wife and him could starve to death. Told him this was his fault for spending every penny and not saving I asked if I needed money was I supossed to go dig my daddy up. He has had a saving account ever since. I have no problem freely giving to my kid's or grandkid's don't ever demand,ask or circle like a bunch of buzzards thinking it's yours.
 
My biggest regret in life was marrying too young (19), thought I was in love but it was lust, and lord knows THAT never lasts....

I was all set for Veterinary School, did my first year of college and then turned stupid and got married. THAT was the end of school but at least I didn't completely screw up and have kids with that jerk.... Took me less than 2 years to wise up and get rid of his useless a$$ but never did go back to school.

If I could go back NOW and kick my stupid self I sure WOULD!!! and MANY TIMES!!

You can always try giving her an "incentive" for a long engagement but she might go for "noble and in love" and run off and get married anyway.... sigh.........

Sorry CB!!!
 
CB, I went through that a few months ago with my youngest son. A girl came into his life and he wanted to switch from and ivy league college to the one she was at. I dropped subtle hints to him cause she was easy for me to read. He was blind but eventually he saw through her and what their future together would look like. Thankfully he is now back on the right path but it was scarey for a while. You gotta be gentle with the reins or they will buck but I doubt hard headedness and stubborness is in your family's genes. ;-) Good luck.
 
Jogeephus":2wr7vi6g said:
CB, I went through that a few months ago with my youngest son. A girl came into his life and he wanted to switch from and ivy league college to the one she was at. I dropped subtle hints to him cause she was easy for me to read. He was blind but eventually he saw through her and what their future together would look like. Thankfully he is now back on the right path but it was scarey for a while. You gotta be gentle with the reins or they will buck but I doubt hard headedness and stubborness is in your family's genes. ;-) Good luck.

Kid's and grandkid's are coming in this weekend for Christmas at Granny's and Paw's she is bringing the hammerhead.
Her uncles are already planning a come to Jesus meeting with him. This should be interesting when a bunch of 6'2 and 6'4" boy's going about 270 ask him to the barn.
 
Caustic Burno":23c2xcf1 said:
peg4x4":23c2xcf1 said:
Caustic,you better prepare yourself for the next salvo. She's gonna get pregnant,reasoning that y'all won't turn your back on a grandchild. Can't suggest how to handle that.

I will turn it in a heartbeat ask her dad. He called his junior year spring semsester of college with a 3.0 told me he was quiting school to get married.
My reply was your grown and old enough to row your own boat. I ask him if he heard that loud noise he ask what, I said it was my wallet slamming shut. He was working and got laid off a few years later, called and said Dad I am going to need some money. My reply to him was to bring the grandkids to the house as far as I was concerned his wife and him could starve to death. Told him this was his fault for spending every penny and not saving I asked if I needed money was I supossed to go dig my daddy up. He has had a saving account ever since. I have no problem freely giving to my kid's or grandkid's don't ever demand,ask or circle like a bunch of buzzards thinking it's yours.
:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
 
CB, I sure hope this works out. I certainly do not mean any disrespect commenting to someone I don't know but, from the outside looking in, it looks like everyone is about to get an education. We always had to handle our son much different than our daughter, or should I say, handle our daughter different than our son. We could be more direct with our son. Daughters however, daughters are different. Be gentle, don't break her spirit. You may damage the traits you admire her for most, or worse, you may lose her. She is obviously a very intelligent young adult. There is probably one person in or outside the family that she respects most and will eagerly hear advice from. A few prayers, and a respectful approach to both of them may leave you surprised with everyone still respecting each other. Its tough I know. Be patient. Good luck!
Bear
 

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