Banff Park tourists

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Feb 21, 2004
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All time dumbest questions asked by Banff Park (Province of Alberta) tourists. Yes, they are ALL TRUE as heard at the information kiosks manned by Parks Canada staff.

1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at "Elk Crossing" signs?
2. At what elevation does an elk become a moose?
3. Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'elk'?"
Park Information Staff: "Elk"
Tourist: "Oh"
4. Are the bears with collars tame?
5. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?
6. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should I store it in my tent?
7. Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?
8. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today -- can you tell me what it was?
9. Are there birds in Canada?
10. Did I miss the turnoff for Canada?
11. Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?
12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?
13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French or is that Saskatchewan?
14. If I go to British Columbia, do I have to go through Ontario?
15. Which is the way to the Columbia Ricefields?
16. How far is Banff from Canada?
17. What's the best way to see Canada in a day?
18. Do they search you at the British Columbia border?
19. When we enter British Columbia, do we have convert our money to British pounds?
20. Where can I buy a raccoon hat? ALL Canadians own one, don't they?
21. Are there phones in Banff?
22. So, it's eight kilometers that in miles?
23. We're on the decibel system you know.
24. Where can I get my husband really, REALLY lost?
25. Is that two kilometers by foot or by car?
26. Don't you Canadians know anything?
27. Where do put the animals at night?
28. Tourist: "how do you get your lakes so blue?
Park Staff: "We take the water out in the winter and paint the bottom blue."
Tourist: "Oh"
All are really dumb question and very funny! I got cracked up on #24...she really hates her husband!

I think #22 shouldn't be there..most people don't know how to convert Km to Miles.. It does get confusing!
Yes conversion is a pain but the joke is that the tourist was just told that it was 8 km and then turns around asks if that is in miles.

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