MO_cows
Well-known member
Seeing as how everything I do, from downloading free software, to getting a debit card to have access my own darn money, to having a telephone or Internet service, requires me to accept a long, complicated set of "Terms and Conditions". Which can be changed at any time at the whim of the issuing company, and inevitably any change in these "Terms and Conditions" means that some more money is coming out of my pocket, and/or some sort of inconvenience is headed my way. Seeing as how I do not want to go the rest of my life without a debit card, a telephone, Internet service, health insurance, a bank account, etc., I must accept these "Terms and Conditions" as just a necessary evil of the world we live in today. And, I have decided I need my very own set of "Terms and Conditions".
1) If a representative of your company calls me with a heavy Bangladesh accent and tells me their name is "Josh" or "Mary" or some such, I know this is a lie and I will choose not to continue this conversation that started out with a lie, and immediately hang up the phone.
2) If your representative offers me an extended warranty on a purchase, I reserve the right to tell them, at length and in detail, all the various ways I have been screwed over in the past by purchasing extended warranties, before declining the offer.
3) If your representative offers me a discount on my purchase by applying for a store credit card, I reserve the right to explain to them how it is inevitable that a check will get lost in the mail, or some catastrophe will strike that makes you overlook a payment, and the resulting fees and charges will be much more than the discount being offered today.
4) If you raise my rates for no apparent reason, I reserve the right to call your customer service line and voice my objections, taking as long as necessary and including my life story if it is relevant to the point I am making.
5) If you put up a BIG sign with an attractive price in BIG PRINT, then add fine print with "after mail in rebate" or other such nonsense that makes the BIG PRINT a lie, I reserve the right to have a loooooong conversation with your staff about fairness and truth, before I leave without buying anything.
6) If you make me pay at the pump before getting any fuel, you better have a card reader that works reliably on said pump.
7) If I call you and there is an automated answering system, and it makes me punch in all my information, but when I get to a live person I still have to repeat it all over again, a $10 service fee will apply.
These terms and conditions may be modified at any time without advance notice.
1) If a representative of your company calls me with a heavy Bangladesh accent and tells me their name is "Josh" or "Mary" or some such, I know this is a lie and I will choose not to continue this conversation that started out with a lie, and immediately hang up the phone.
2) If your representative offers me an extended warranty on a purchase, I reserve the right to tell them, at length and in detail, all the various ways I have been screwed over in the past by purchasing extended warranties, before declining the offer.
3) If your representative offers me a discount on my purchase by applying for a store credit card, I reserve the right to explain to them how it is inevitable that a check will get lost in the mail, or some catastrophe will strike that makes you overlook a payment, and the resulting fees and charges will be much more than the discount being offered today.
4) If you raise my rates for no apparent reason, I reserve the right to call your customer service line and voice my objections, taking as long as necessary and including my life story if it is relevant to the point I am making.
5) If you put up a BIG sign with an attractive price in BIG PRINT, then add fine print with "after mail in rebate" or other such nonsense that makes the BIG PRINT a lie, I reserve the right to have a loooooong conversation with your staff about fairness and truth, before I leave without buying anything.
6) If you make me pay at the pump before getting any fuel, you better have a card reader that works reliably on said pump.
7) If I call you and there is an automated answering system, and it makes me punch in all my information, but when I get to a live person I still have to repeat it all over again, a $10 service fee will apply.
These terms and conditions may be modified at any time without advance notice.
