Retirement

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dun

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Where to live after Retirement


Try Arizona where.....

1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.

2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl..

3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.

4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food

5. You know that 'dry heat' is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.

6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!



Or try California where..

1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.

2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.

3. You know how to eat an artichoke.

4. You drive your leased Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.

5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

7. Riding through an earthquake becomes a free E-Ticket ride.



Or try New York City where...

1. You say 'the city' and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan

2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

3. You think Central Park is 'nature,'

4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

5. You've worn out a car horn.

6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.



Or try Minnesota where...

1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco ....

2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.

3. You have more than one recipe for moose.

4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.

5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.



Or try the Deep South where...

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

2. 'y'all' is singular and 'all y'all' is plural.

3. 'He needed killin'' is a valid defense.

4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob , Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.



Or try Colorado where.....

1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.

2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.

3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.

4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.



Or try the Midwest where...

1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name

2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.

3. You have had to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' on the same day.

4. You end sentences with a preposition: 'Where's my coat at?'

5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, 'It was different!'



Or you can live in Florida where..

1.. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.

3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.

4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

5 Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
 

LoveMoo11

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Wow, Minnesota sounds a lot like Maine! Except we do have bait/movie stores like in the south :lol:
 

TexasBred

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LoveMoo11":3aavi3z7 said:
Wow, Minnesota sounds a lot like Maine! Except we do have bait/movie stores like in the south :lol:

Come on down here...saw one the other day advertising "Bait, BBQ and Tire Repair". :lol2:
 

hillsdown

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Or try the Midwest where...

1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name :nod:

2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor. :nod:

3. You have had to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' on the same day. :nod:

4. You end sentences with a preposition: 'Where's my coat at?' :nod:

5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, 'It was different!' :nod:

Hmm? That sounds like where I live in Alberta. The mayor of the city knows me by name as I went to school with his boys since kindergarten ,his wife was my grade 9 English teacher and they lived two blocks away from us for 20 years. :lol2:
 
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dun

dun

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john250":tvuwczce said:
When you retiring, and where 'ya going, Dun? That hill you sit on looks pretty good and I might ...
If I don;t die here, when I'm too old for the cows I'll be going back to the desert.
 

larryshoat

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hillsdown":2qzyoe2e said:
Or try the Midwest where...

1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name :nod:

2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor. :nod:

3. You have had to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' on the same day. :nod:

4. You end sentences with a preposition: 'Where's my coat at?' :nod:

5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, 'It was different!' :nod:

Hmm? That sounds like where I live in Alberta. The mayor of the city knows me by name as I went to school with his boys since kindergarten ,his wife was my grade 9 English teacher and they lived two blocks away from us for 20 years. :lol2:

That one rings fairly true for me too.

Larry
 

Australian

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Well done. I think we could all find places similar to the states that you identified. All of our states are different. Do you have drivers from different staes that annoy you? The most annoying to our state drivers are from the state of Victoria. I know they annoy me they apply their brakes on the flat road and coming over hills. I'm going to ask a Victorian one day whether they wear out their brake pads very often?
 

backhoeboogie

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I am thinking 50 miles south, south west of here. To many folks have moved in here because we are close to Fort Worth.

Would people commute 100 miles to work each day?
 

Ryder

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Australian":205iytfb said:
Well done. I think we could all find places similar to the states that you identified. All of our states are different. Do you have drivers from different staes that annoy you? The most annoying to our state drivers are from the state of Victoria. I know they annoy me they apply their brakes on the flat road and coming over hills. I'm going to ask a Victorian one day whether they wear out their brake pads very often?
People from New Orleans, Louisiana have got to be the worst. If there is six inches between you and the car in front, they are coming in.
Technically they are not from another state. But realistically they are from another world.
 

MO_cows

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Australian":1cisdpr4 said:
Well done. I think we could all find places similar to the states that you identified. All of our states are different. Do you have drivers from different staes that annoy you? The most annoying to our state drivers are from the state of Victoria. I know they annoy me they apply their brakes on the flat road and coming over hills. I'm going to ask a Victorian one day whether they wear out their brake pads very often?

That's funny. Some things are just universal, aren't they? The drivers you have to watch around here have Johnson County (Kansas) plates. They take no prisoners! And you better watch out for the soccer mom with the big SUV full of kids. 'Cuz she ain't watchin' out for you.
 

john250

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The road from Chicago to Florida runs through Indiana. If you are ever out there on I-65 in Nov, Dec, Jan watch out for the Illinois plates. They got warm weather fever. 90 yr old folks driving 40 foot RV's at 80 mph. Towing a Prius. Also, Minnesota, Iowa, Michigan and Canadian plates. Come to think of it, just watch all of them. Those out of state folks are crazy behind the wheel.
 

Angus Cowman

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I used to work alot in Kansas and what irritated me they had these straight flat roads and drove 40mph or else they would sit at an intersection with plenty of time to go and they would wait and pull right out in front of you so you had to lock up your brakes

and then we get them IOWA drivers we just called them Idiots Out Wandering Aimlessly :lol: :lol:
 

hillsdown

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Australian":3v0yxyqv said:
Well done. I think we could all find places similar to the states that you identified. All of our states are different. Do you have drivers from different staes that annoy you? The most annoying to our state drivers are from the state of Victoria. I know they annoy me they apply their brakes on the flat road and coming over hills. I'm going to ask a Victorian one day whether they wear out their brake pads very often?


Saskatchewan ....... and Montana ...........Sorry Randiliana I know it is not you.. :lol2: :help:

I know what you mean John, when I see a vehicle with Indiana plates I just pull over , they usually like to drive in the middle of the road. ;-)
 

iowahawkeyes

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Angus Cowman":3cpsahf2 said:
I used to work alot in Kansas and what irritated me they had these straight flat roads and drove 40mph or else they would sit at an intersection with plenty of time to go and they would wait and pull right out in front of you so you had to lock up your brakes

and then we get them IOWA drivers we just called them Idiots Out Wandering Aimlessly :lol: :lol:


Hey now!!(But it's true) We live on a very busy highway and it's hard to get on the road sometimes. My FIL said "people will just have to get used to pulling out in front of vehicles. :shock: And we use semis to haul grain, so he really should know better...
 

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