Online Alzheimer's support

[Lammie]

At t his point, I would like it if someday Dad got a lady friend. Lord knows the nursing home has far more ladies than gentlemen. He's ripe for the pickin'!

Visit yesterday went well. He didn't talk about Mom at all and only mentioned one strange thing. Said he tried to call Joe, out brother who has been gone for nearly twenty years. I didn't bother to try and correct him. He ended the visit, actually. Said he was going to eat lunch and excused himself. I'll be back next weekend.

 

[Wisteria Farms]

Lammie,
I would think he probably will befriend one of the ladies...in Grandpa's case they have fought over him...(crazy!) His friend, Pat, gets him and takes him to every thing (like the excercise session or bingo, etc) Well, one day Pat overslept so the nurse took grandpa. When Pat woke up and went to the community room grandpa was sitting next to another woman. Pat proceeded to tell this woman to GET UP!! The woman refused. Pat turned to the nurse and SCREAMED "THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!!!" and stormed off to her room. The nurses thought that was so funny...

 

[Wisteria Farms]

Oh, one more thing....Pat is real concious about her purse...it doesn't have a thing in it but she protects that purse like crazy....
OK..grandpa USED to have a microwave in his room. Well, he decided to take a copper pot (off the TOP of the cabinet...used only for decoration) and put popcorn in it. Well, it caught on FIRE in the microwave and the nurses said right before the fire alarm went off they saw Pat "bookin it" out of his room with that purse crammed in her armpit...they thought that was funny too. She wasn't about to be linked to that fire!!

 

[Lammie]

When Mom first got bedridden, Dad was in a room one day just bent over and talking to his other little old lady, kissing her on the forehead. The nurses asked him if he was aware that that lady was not his wife. He looked at her and said, "Oh, I guess not" and walked off.

 

[Wisteria Farms]

When Mom first got bedridden, Dad was in a room one day just bent over and talking to his other little old lady, kissing her on the forehead. The nurses asked him if he was aware that that lady was not his wife. He looked at her and said, "Oh, I guess not" and walked off.

Was probably the best day that other little old lady had in a long time!!

 

[john250]

When Mom first got bedridden, Dad was in a room one day just bent over and talking to his other little old lady, kissing her on the forehead. The nurses asked him if he was aware that that lady was not his wife. He looked at her and said, "Oh, I guess not" and walked off.

Dang, I've gotten alzheimer's too. :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Lammie]

When Mom first got bedridden, Dad was in a room one day just bent over and talking to his other little old lady, kissing her on the forehead. The nurses asked him if he was aware that that lady was not his wife. He looked at her and said, "Oh, I guess not" and walked off.

Dang, I've gotten alzheimer's too. :lol: :lol: :lol:

There's a difference in what you do and what Dad did! Don't go trying to get all feelie with every woman you see. Some hit and some will kiss you back!!!

There was another lady who came into the NH with Alz. and she was at that point where they do things that aren't in their character. Anyway, she was cruising for mens in there. This was when Mom was still alive. She remarked that Dad had a big bed all to himself, (he still has his bouble bed until they make us move it), and that she was gonna crawl in there and wait for him!

I let the nursing staff handle that one...

Dad also swears that an old man came onto him, as well. Sounds like Dad has that certain something. You really can't go by his stories, though. I can't tell what is real and what he fancied up.

 

[Wisteria Farms]

I think the problems we face with grandpa being innappropriate stem from his youth... he was the son of an Italian Chief of Police in a small town that catered to the mob...I dont' want to say my great grandfather was "shady" but I think he and his boys were used to getting anything they wanted. My grandfather was ONE GOOD LOOKIN man back then and I imagine the ladies probably thought so too...I think now that he's "reverting" back he thinks he can do the same stuff. My problem in all this is that growing up I NEVER questioned his faithfulness to my grandmother...NEVER... but now I do and its a side I just would rather not know. :cry2:

 

[Lammie]

Mom was forever accusing Dad of being unfaithful. I never saw where he got the time when he worked at the ranch. Mom used to not let him go anywhere alone. If he went to the feed store, we did, too. If he was preg checking out at the barn, we were there. Fertlizing coastal? Yep. We didn't bale hay. I guess Mom thought Dad was pretty safe doing that. It was insane and I thought it was insane when I was a little kid. I grew up in sale barns, vet offices, feed stores and pastures. Not that that was a bad thing, but I might have been home climbing trees or playing baby dolls. I was the youngest and my siblings were all at school during the day. I had a lot of free time and I guess Mom did, too because she settled down come summer when the other kids were home. Come fall and winter, though, and we were back out there with dad.

 

[Wewild]

Ok,look-you don't argue with a alshimers patent. They are ALWAYS right. You agree,you distract,you promise later we will..
You lie. Mom went to visit soandso-she'll be back soon........It's pure heii, but you've gotta remember,he's not the father you had.. I'm sorry..

I saw may mother try to heal her father. He was gone but he really liked to bounce a tennis ball back and forth. Mamma did all she could. He died when I was in high school 1979. Mamma passed in 2002 at 96 years of age in 2002.

I saw other family members ask Dad's mother so many question about birthdays and such she just quit talking. She would go to her Bible but couldn't find them where they were written down. That was wrong. They didn't know any better.

Dad is different. It maybe because this is a little more up front and personnel to me.

We lie because there isn't a cognitive person on the other end when it comes to immediate changes or things that will set his mind at ease. "When are my donkeys coming home?" We had to send them off to get their feet worked on.

He has many questions about things that go back 10 or more years. He can't recall 5 minutes of conversation.

I hate that for your Mom and you and soandso.

 

[Joy of Texas]

My heart goes out to all of you that are dealing with this. I worked in a nursing home for 8 yrs.. I took care of several alzheimer patients. It was a hard job,but I did the best I could with them. I wish I could give you a magic answer to help. But there is no easy answer or magic to cure them.
We were taught to keep the patient up to date . I did not agree with this. Most of the time they are not in our present day time. They are in a time when they were a child or some place else. That's what I would work with. Where are they at today ? Go with that. It doesn't matter if who they are talking about is really here or not. Just go with the flow.
No they do not sleep at night. We use to have family members throwing a fit. Why are they sleeping all day blah,blah,blah. I wanted to tell them,be here at 10:00 pm and watch them come alive. For those of you that do not believe that a full moon plays any part of how these people act. Go to a nursing home on a full moon. You would almost swear you were in a nut house. On those nights you would have to chase some down looking for their wives or husbands. Even though they were deceased.This one patient made out the back door one time. He just knew his wife was out there with the doctor doing the nasty. He had to have 8 stiches put in his head.
We had a lady named Anna that would cry day and night. This one time I got finished with my hall and just went and sat with her. She would whine and cry not wanting to talk. So I told her I was going to . No she said please please stay.She kept whining about a shoe box. I did look for one and didn't see it I did stay and asked her about her rose bushes. Who knew ... She said you see them and I told yes. What color are they,she asked. I said you have 3 red ones and 1 yellow one. Well she started crying ,I was right. I spent most of the night with her. Come to find out. Her and her husband came from Germany back in the war days. She kept telling me it is so cold,freezing and her children were going to die. I reassured her children were just fine. She screamed at me no they are not. I asked what is wrong. Come to find out before they left Germany. She had a baby that was a couple of days old. It had froze to death and they put it in a shoe box and buried it. So she was grieving over the loss of a baby. I told her sons about her story. They knew nothing about it. I guess a month or so later they came and told me the story was true.
When my grandmother was in the nursing home with alzheimers. We never told her when my grandfather died. I think in her own way she knew it,but it was decided not to tell her. My mom and her sisters also did not tell her about 2 of her daughters passing away. She would not have been able to process it anyway.
God Bless

 

[Lammie]

The NH called last night. Dad was all confused, could not remember when Mom passed, or any of the last four days, he said. I told him that in the evenings he was tired and his brain was tired and that in the morning it would be better. He told me he was going to bed. I don't know if he will remember to call in the morning or not. If he does, I will try to help him remember.

 

[Wisteria Farms]

Joy,
Thanks so much.
When we moved Grandpa out of his house, my aunt wanted the family there to take anything they wanted but what was left was to go to the auction. Upon my arrival she said, "Anything you don't want just put in the living room...thats the auction stuff". When I walked in the front door I saw grandma's bowl that she always served potato salad in. Then I saw the cracked up dog cookie jar that ALL of her kids and grandkids beat to H@ll getting cookies. I took those two things and LEFT. I was so mad that if it didn't have monetary value it was being pitched.

My husband told me we needed to go to the auction because there might be something there that I wanted. I agreed even though it broke my heart. Well, on a flatbed trailer sat ALL of his musical instruments. He played drums (which someone grabbed from the house) but he was PASSIONATE about his saxophone. I told Jeff, "I HAVE TO HAVE THAT SAXOPHONE...THAT SHOULD NEVER BE SOLD!!!" I paid darn near $600 for it but I got it. Later he started asking about it and I was so....glad I had it. I even took it to the music store to have it overhauled for him. My aunt felt bad about the whole situation and paid me back the $600.

I feel like I'm the only one in this family who has a heart or concience.

 

[Lammie]

I feel the same way. I think that now that my parents no longer have anything but their wisdom to give, my siblings aren't interested. And my sister is supposed to love dad, as they were much closer than Dad and I were.

Funny thing, though. Since Dad has been sick, I find that it is much easier for me to be closer to him physically than when he was well. We were never real touchy-feely. His family was not like that.