Ok ladies and men, need some help! How do I get my wife to.

[M5farm]

Alan don't worry about Bez worry about Mrs. Bez.

If you don't believe that just ask Bez how he likes his new Angus bull. :lol: :lol: :lol: :hide:

LOL

 

[hurleyjd]

I'm have gotten over it now, again, but I still don't understand what is so tough about "if you unplug it plug back in when you're done" and "if you open it close it".

Why did she unplug it did she remove the plug to use the receptacle. If that be the case than add another receptacle pretty simple to do even a caveman could do it.

 

[Bez__]

Alan don't worry about Bez worry about Mrs. Bez.

If you don't believe that just ask Bez how he likes his new Angus bull. :lol: :lol: :lol: :hide:

That hurt

I call him Hussein Obama

Bez__

 

[regolith]

Your Quote, "Hang up hot gate if you take it down" Sounds like you have wire instead of gates. What do you expect out of your partner? Man up and install a hinged gate so she does not have to mess with the hot fence. Read your post, a solution is not hard to figure out.

Small rotational pastures, not my set up. :? Hang the dam gate up or plug it back in! :?

Now that that is said, I haven't got her trained in 13 yrs, so I know it's something I have to deal with, she is the love of my life! :tiphat:

Well from your first post she sounds a complete idiot but... good point above.
She's probably smaller, less muscular than you and might even have a sore back, and I personally have encountered wire gates that can be opened but not closed (although some big muscular fella or someone who doesn't mind 6,000 volts might not have any trouble closing them).
Replacing them with gates that are easy to open and close will take less time than getting the cows back once more. Start another thread if you want ideas, I for one have seen better than a dozen types of gates and handles for rotational grazing.
Why is she unplugging the fences? Get to the cause of that one too and there might be a solution.
Lease block? No owner can complain about you pinning back a gate permanently and putting in a better one... just take the better one with you when you go and shut the original.

 

[Ouachita]

I've had 2 of these "bump" gates for about 4 years. I really like them. I've made a couple of design improvements that should make them serviceable indefinitely. They were $275 back then.

http://www.ecklundgates.com/

As for the unplugging the energizer, why? If she's using that outlet add another. If she is unplugging it to de-energize the fence, here is your solution. Install a a double pole switch for. Wire it so de-energizes the fence at the same time it sounds a siren or plays a tune like "You are my Sunshine....."

 

[Alan]

Thanks for all the responses, for my set up bump gates are not the answer. I do not drive through any gates here, except the one at the end of the drive, it's remote controlled. She will take the two strand wire gate down to put one of her horse's in a pasture but when she takes it out she will leave the gate down. Or she will unplug the hot box for whatever she is doing and not plug it back in.

She's getting better and she is the love of my life. My OP was posted after 3 1/2 hours of chasing cows and fixing fence, may not have been the best time to post .... but dammmm, plug it in and hang it up.

 

[rockridgecattle]

Drs Henry cloud and John Townsend have written a series of books called boundaries. I am half way through boundaries and then I'm on boundaries in marriage.

Boundaries are like a fence....not a wall, a fence, with a gate. The gate opens to let good things in and close to keep garbage out of our lives. Some people grew up not knowing boundaries, crossing and breaking them. There are eight laws of boundaries and eight myths.
I'm working on the first two and have them memorized
1. Sow and reap. Pretty easy. However there is a part that needs to be brought up here. Enabling. Enabling is the interruption of reaping what is sown.
So for an example, a adult child, in the working world, on their own, experience monthly financial hardships. Continually, the parents send bail out money and can not figure out why they can't grow up. Why would they? The adult doesn't have to face the consequences of bad spending habits. They don't lose they home, don't go hungry, have a vehicle replaced...Orr fix fence. Constantly the consequences are interrupted like the catching a falling glasss. They only way people like this learn is from experiencing the hardship of crapy choices

2. Responsible to, but not responsible for. This is a hard one to explain. I'm responsible to my husband to remain faithful to my vows, but I'm not responsible for the choices he makes.

All boundaries come with consequences. Sometimes it's a fight to get our partners to understand and accept this. Some people have no concept of their surroundings. It's a me world, lack of empathy or caring....

So if you are tired of cleaning up her mess, you need to put a boundary and a consequence in place. It might not be best to do this at home, maybe out for dinner. Explain to her how much time this takes from your day. Explain this can't go on. Tell her your boundary.
Ask her why she does this? I don't know is a lie. This is going to hurt, what I am about to say...it's selfish to not turn the fencer on, selfish to expect you to fix this.

"It really frustrates me when I have to chase cows and fix gates just because the fencer was not plugged in. I need you to remember to......so that I can get my work done in a timely manner."

Then come up with a consequence. It has to be painful. It has to make her stop and think. She will fight you on this like a two year old. But you need to stick to it.

Consequence ideas.
She needs to take you out for dinner, she finds the sitter, plans the night out

She needs to pay you for the work...actual money for time spent. It's yours to do as you wish, ie that much needed power tool. If she says I want...no. Action...reaction...

She needs to get out there with you

You will think of something....non sexual...

If she doesn't follow through, something relational.

You have to value yourself enough or others won't

Finally....from either cloud or Townsend in a radio broadcast...." God puts up with a lot, but he doesn't put up with foolishness".
God has boundaries...read the book of Judges. Or john 3:16 and 36... Pretty steep boundary and consequence

Sorry for the book. This is something I'm working on at home. It's tough but with it.

 

[kerley]

Alan don't worry about Bez worry about Mrs. Bez.

If you don't believe that just ask Bez how he likes his new Angus bull. :lol: :lol: :lol: :hide:

Hahahahahaha

 

[TexasBred]

Thanks for all the responses, for my set up bump gates are not the answer. I do not drive through any gates here, except the one at the end of the drive, it's remote controlled. She will take the two strand wire gate down to put one of her horse's in a pasture but when she takes it out she will leave the gate down. Or she will unplug the hot box for whatever she is doing and not plug it back in.

She's getting better and she is the love of my life. My OP was posted after 3 1/2 hours of chasing cows and fixing fence, may not have been the best time to post .... but dammmm, plug it in and hang it up.

Whatever you decide be very very careful and never forget. Women have got most of the money and they have ALL the puzzy. :!: :!: :!: :hide:

 

[jerry27150]

if she is good looking & likes sex, I surely would just laugh & go on.

 

[Caustic Burno]

if she is good looking & likes sex, I surely would just laugh & go on.

Women need a reason man just needs the time and place.
There are three forms of sex.

Anywhere sex this is to obtain the ring.

Bedroom sex occasionally after the ring is obtained.

Hallway sex after the first child arrives.
That is when you pass each other in the hallway and say screw you.

 

[jedstivers]

Thanks for all the responses, for my set up bump gates are not the answer. I do not drive through any gates here, except the one at the end of the drive, it's remote controlled. She will take the two strand wire gate down to put one of her horse's in a pasture but when she takes it out she will leave the gate down. Or she will unplug the hot box for whatever she is doing and not plug it back in.

She's getting better and she is the love of my life. My OP was posted after 3 1/2 hours of chasing cows and fixing fence, may not have been the best time to post .... but dammmm, plug it in and hang it up.

Whatever you decide be very very careful and never forget. Women have got most of the money and they have ALL the puzzy. :!: :!: :!: :hide:

Yep, they have 100%. It's the best game in town as far as I'm concerned.

 

[rockridgecattle]

Ok! I wish I could say how I really feel without coming off as a prude. Or rude....
..oh wait...nope...rude and prude will probably come out in the bottom of the ninth.

CB, Jed, TB, Jerry and who ever else had a good laugh at TB's post....here it comes...oh boy...

That objectifying women!!!!!!

That's wrong, disrespectful, vulgar, rude, sexist, and a whole list I just can't say on a board such as this.
Whether you believe in God or not....that is not the intended role for sex between a man and woman. It's to develop or rather strengthen the bond that holds a couple together. It's the glue. It helps develop intimacy. Not sex.
A man who has eyes only for his wife would not say such things. They would honor her in ways that would do nothing but glorify the marriage. Men of integrity would hold to that esteem.

Honor, love, cherish.

Sex and dirty sexual talk is for animals. Healthy intimacy is loving and kind. Last time I checked we were a step above animals.

We are what we eat, what we read, what we engage in. It comes out in what we say, what we believe, what we do. Garbage in, garbage out.

Woman, the wife to Adam was taken from his rib. Not his toe to be bruise, not his brain to lord over us. We were taken from his side to be created as his help mate. That kind of talk just bruises us.

Man, the husband to Eve was created to be the protector. Man's job was and is to tend to. Protect the family, protect the corner of the world they live in. That means honoring the wife. How is that kind of talk honoring? God honoring?

Here's a question. Would you be impressed if your daughter brought home a man who says those words? Openly? Would you think that they would honor your daughter with loving kind word once they lived in their own home?

Men of integrity, sexual integrity, honoring your wife, that's where it's at.

Men, you can come down on me like a sack of hammers, give me all the excuses in the world. Justify it till the cows come home. Trust me I've heard it all. Trust me, I've grown up, a lot in the last two years and there is nothing that can be said to justify these kind of words.

Protect your wives and the very thing they give only to you. The very act of God designed intimacy already puts the wife in the vulnerable position of acceptance. Should they have to do it knowing in their hearts you objectify them?

Now I will go and put my soap box away.

 

[Dave]

Alan, buy another fence charger. Put your wife's horses behind one charger and the cows behind a different one. Set up and keep the pastures separate. That way if she turns off the charger or leaves a gate open it will only be her horses that get out. And when her horse gets out it is her problem not yours.

 

[Alan]

Alan, buy another fence charger. Put your wife's horses behind one charger and the cows behind a different one. Set up and keep the pastures separate. That way if she turns off the charger or leaves a gate open it will only be her horses that get out. And when her horse gets out it is her problem not yours.

Believe it or not Dave it is set up that way. But for what ever reason she see greener grass in the cow pastures. I'm afraid it's a battle I'm never going to win.

 

[hurleyjd]

Ok! I wish I could say how I really feel without coming off as a prude. Or rude....
..oh wait...nope...rude and prude will probably come out in the bottom of the ninth.

CB, Jed, TB, Jerry and who ever else had a good laugh at TB's post....here it comes...oh boy...

That objectifying women!!!!!!

That's wrong, disrespectful, vulgar, rude, sexist, and a whole list I just can't say on a board such as this.
Whether you believe in God or not....that is not the intended role for sex between a man and woman. It's to develop or rather strengthen the bond that holds a couple together. It's the glue. It helps develop intimacy. Not sex.
A man who has eyes only for his wife would not say such things. They would honor her in ways that would do nothing but glorify the marriage. Men of integrity would hold to that esteem.

Honor, love, cherish.

Sex and dirty sexual talk is for animals. Healthy intimacy is loving and kind. Last time I checked we were a step above animals.

We are what we eat, what we read, what we engage in. It comes out in what we say, what we believe, what we do. Garbage in, garbage out.

Woman, the wife to Adam was taken from his rib. Not his toe to be bruise, not his brain to lord over us. We were taken from his side to be created as his help mate. That kind of talk just bruises us.

Man, the husband to Eve was created to be the protector. Man's job was and is to tend to. Protect the family, protect the corner of the world they live in. That means honoring the wife. How is that kind of talk honoring? God honoring?

Here's a question. Would you be impressed if your daughter brought home a man who says those words? Openly? Would you think that they would honor your daughter with loving kind word once they lived in their own home?

Men of integrity, sexual integrity, honoring your wife, that's where it's at.

Men, you can come down on me like a sack of hammers, give me all the excuses in the world. Justify it till the cows come home. Trust me I've heard it all. Trust me, I've grown up, a lot in the last two years and there is nothing that can be said to justify these kind of words.

Protect your wives and the very thing they give only to you. The very act of God designed intimacy already puts the wife in the vulnerable position of acceptance. Should they have to do it knowing in their hearts you objectify them?

Now I will go and put my soap box away.

I agree with you 100%. Today I married my wife and partner and best friend 53 years ago. She is the best thing that has happened to me in my life.

 

[boondocks]

Now I will go and put my soap box away.

I agree with you 100%. Today I married my wife and partner and best friend 53 years ago. She is the best thing that has happened to me in my life.

Congratulations and happy anniversary! My grandparents all made it to 70 years or very close thereto. I hope to make it that far too, although I did not get quite as early a start! May I send you these 2 wonderful Wendell Berry poems--they seem very appropriate on such an occasion. Maybe read them to, or with, your lovely bride?

The Country of Marriage http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-country-of-marriage/
The Blue Robe http://resident-theology.blogspot.com/2 ... berry.html

(If you're not familiar with him, Wendell Berry is a well-known poet and farmer in KY).

 

[boondocks]

Ok! I wish I could say how I really feel without coming off as a prude. Or rude....
..oh wait...nope...rude and prude will probably come out in the bottom of the ninth.

CB, Jed, TB, Jerry and who ever else had a good laugh at TB's post....here it comes...oh boy...

That objectifying women!!!!!!

That's wrong, disrespectful, vulgar, rude, sexist, and a whole list I just can't say on a board such as this.
Whether you believe in God or not....that is not the intended role for sex between a man and woman. It's to develop or rather strengthen the bond that holds a couple together. It's the glue. It helps develop intimacy. Not sex.
A man who has eyes only for his wife would not say such things. They would honor her in ways that would do nothing but glorify the marriage. Men of integrity would hold to that esteem.

Honor, love, cherish.

Sex and dirty sexual talk is for animals. Healthy intimacy is loving and kind. Last time I checked we were a step above animals.

We are what we eat, what we read, what we engage in. It comes out in what we say, what we believe, what we do. Garbage in, garbage out.

Woman, the wife to Adam was taken from his rib. Not his toe to be bruise, not his brain to lord over us. We were taken from his side to be created as his help mate. That kind of talk just bruises us.

Man, the husband to Eve was created to be the protector. Man's job was and is to tend to. Protect the family, protect the corner of the world they live in. That means honoring the wife. How is that kind of talk honoring? God honoring?

Here's a question. Would you be impressed if your daughter brought home a man who says those words? Openly? Would you think that they would honor your daughter with loving kind word once they lived in their own home?

Men of integrity, sexual integrity, honoring your wife, that's where it's at.

Men, you can come down on me like a sack of hammers, give me all the excuses in the world. Justify it till the cows come home. Trust me I've heard it all. Trust me, I've grown up, a lot in the last two years and there is nothing that can be said to justify these kind of words.

Protect your wives and the very thing they give only to you. The very act of God designed intimacy already puts the wife in the vulnerable position of acceptance. Should they have to do it knowing in their hearts you objectify them?

Now I will go and put my soap box away.

:clap: :clap: :clap:

 

[boondocks]

The Blue Robe

By Wendell Berry

How joyful to be together, alone
as when we first were joined
in our little house by the river
long ago, except that now we know

each other, as we did not then;
and now instead of two stories fumbling
to meet, we belong to one story
that the two, joining, made. And now

we touch each other with the tenderness
of mortals, who know themselves:
how joyful to feel the heart quake

at the sight of a grandmother,
old friend in the morning light,
beautiful in her blue robe!

[When my son is married, I hope that his view of his spouse, and women in general, is a bit more in line with Wendell Berry's beautiful poem to his wife of many years, and a bit (ok, a lOT) less like some of the above comments).

 

[john250]

Now I will go and put my soap box away.

I agree with you 100%. Today I married my wife and partner and best friend 53 years ago. She is the best thing that has happened to me in my life.

Congratulations and happy anniversary! My grandparents all made it to 70 years or very close thereto. I hope to make it that far too, although I did not get quite as early a start! May I send you these 2 wonderful Wendell Berry poems--they seem very appropriate on such an occasion. Maybe read them to, or with, your lovely bride?

The Country of Marriage http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-country-of-marriage/
The Blue Robe http://resident-theology.blogspot.com/2 ... berry.html

(If you're not familiar with him, Wendell Berry is a well-known poet and farmer in KY).

Wendell Berry is an English prof who lectures about how farmers should behave. Sorry, but he just rubs me the wrong way.