Men only

VanC · Jan 17, 2010

I'm in. Who's with me? :lol2: :lol2:

MND Contributor Marc Rudov Leads Fourth Annual Valentine’s Day Boycott
Friday, January 15, 2010
MND contributing author Marc H. Rudov is making himself available for media appearances to discuss and promote his fourth annual boycott of Valentine’s Day.

“Valentine’s Day is the most unromantic day of the year,” says Rudov in support of his boycott. “True romance is spontaneous, unexpected, voluntary, and mutual — all nonexistent on Valentine’s Day.

“Advertisers treat men like spineless eunuchs, exhorting them to buy women teddy bears, pajamas, flowers, and diamonds — or sleep on the couch. Meanwhile, our hypocritical society doesn’t pressure women to indulge men — on February 14th or ever. Do men fight back? No. They drink beer, watch football, sulk, and live in fear of their wives and girlfriends. So, I urge all real men to reject this nonsense and, instead, join my boycott of Valentine’s Day.”

Why Men Dread Valentine's Day
by Marc Rudov

It’s bad enough when women expect us to romance them on Valentine’s Day, as if they deserve romance more than we do. It’s worse when our own brethren — male radio-talkshow hosts — excoriate us for being too forgetful, stupid, lazy, and unimaginative to make Valentine’s Day special.

I’m growing tired of hearing Glenn Beck and Jeff Katz, otherwise extremely talented guys, always telling us men that we are genetically inferior to women and damned lucky they lower themselves to be with us. In fact, two days after Valentine’s Day, Glenn Beck admonished men who had overlooked the holiday to realize that they had one, final chance to get down on their knees to beg forgiveness from and send roses to their girlfriends and wives.

Pathetic messages like these serve no useful purpose and only perpetuate the stereotypes and barriers that keep men and women at odds.

There is a fundamental problem with the traditional, female-oriented Valentine’s Day: it’s based on one-sided, “expected” generosity, which is an oxymoron. First, people don’t feel good about giving when that giving is expected, right ladies? Second, there shouldn’t be a single day of the year dedicated to “forced” romance. Romance should occur naturally, every day. Third, the very idea that women are automatically and exclusively entitled to royal treatment, just for being alive, turns off a lot of men. Look at the calendar. What is there for men? If you are not a father, there is no special day for just you. Why is that?

Many women are generous to their men on Valentine’s Day and throughout the year, but this generosity is neither universal nor generally perceived in our society. I recently debated Athena Navarro, the LA Love Coach, on His Side with Glenn Sacks. Athena’s motto is: I never paid for a date and I never will.

Athena, who is single, believes in the double standard that women are dually entitled to receive fat paychecks at work and expensive dinners from male suitors. Worse, she counsels men that, if they allow women to buy them dinner, they are feminine wimps. What shocks me is that her clients pay to hear this.

For those of you who think Valentine’s Day is an equal-opportunity affair, let me remind you of the endless “don’t forget HER” radio, TV, and newspaper advertising. In 2003, the National Retail Federation conducted its annual Valentine’s Day Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey, finding that the average man and woman intended to spend $125.96 and $38.22, respectively—a difference of more than triple.

Motivated by all the data I consume about this holiday, both formal and anecdotal, I decided this year to conduct my own Valentine’s Day poll on NoNonsenseDating.com. A few days before February 14th, I asked men and women this simple question: If you will buy your mate a Valentine’s Day gift, is it out of pure desire or a feeling of obligation? As you can see in the graph below, male respondents felt obligated by a factor of almost two, whereas women felt desirous by a factor of 3.5.

So, why do men dread Valentine’s Day while women love it? Duh! It’s simple: men are obligated and women are not. The holiday is focused on women. It’s a luxurious pleasure for a woman to give when there is no pressure on her to give, when there is no expectation for her to give. One of my female readers who also participated in the poll, wrote this to me after seeing the results: “I can see why men buy out of obligation, because so many women demand it and reinforce it among themselves.” Precisely.

Fixing Valentine’s Day

Even though, as I stated above, I think it ridiculous to have a single, annual holiday for expressing romance, especially when the pressure is on men to do the expressing, I know the holiday is here to stay. So, I hereby offer three, simple suggestions to make Valentine’s Day enjoyable for men and women, and to make it more lucrative for retailers:

Women: Stop putting all the pressure and obligation on men to make Valentine’s Day special. Share the responsibility and expense. If giving is not genuine and mutual, it isn’t giving
Men and women: Try to make every day of the year a romantic day so that celebrating on February 14 th becomes trivial or optional
Retailers: Change the emphasis of your advertising: Valentine’s Day is for sweethearts, not for women.

john250 · Jan 17, 2010

A guy could do all that stuff, but would he stand a chance of getting ...

3waycross · Jan 17, 2010

I make it a point to buy my wife flowers a week before Valentines day and then just ask her if she would like to go out for dinner on Valentines. She appreciates that more than me feeling obligated to perform. :nod:

On the other hand we have a local jewelry store owner who likes to advertise on Valentines, and Christmas that women should get some kind of revenge on us by demanding extravagent presents from him to make up for hunting and fishing trips etc. I told him if he kept that crap up he might find his tongue laying out on Hiway 50 being run over by semi's and cars. Didn't stop him but his store quit calling my wife every time they got something in they thought she would like.

hillsdown · Jan 17, 2010

As you already know I never ever listen ... Sorry Van.. :lol2:

I think Vday is a bunch of BS. the only time I ever got anything was when hubby and I were just engaged and my mom was down so we could do wedding arrangements ,it was a Sunday and hubby bought me 3 red roses from a local gas station. I dried the roses and still have them in a vase on the fireplace mantle and it was almost 16 years ago. I never expect anything and do not want anything either.

Last vday he was home and we have I think steak and crab and some really nice wine. We ate at the table (which we usually never do) with candles and the good crystal and china and we spent hours just talking. That was a great evening and one I will always remember. Then things got hot and sweaty and get your minds out of the gutter it is not what you think. We went out to check cows and Muriel had just calved and had a uterine prolapse so we spent the rest of the evening putting it back in and tending to the calf. See, that is a memorable Valentines day. The cow lived long enough to raise her calf and take in an orphan as well.

I doubt hubby will be home this year but if he is we will just have a nice dinner together and just enjoy our time together.

Everyday should be Valentines day, everyday you should cherish the one you love, not just one day a year. The fact that the burden gets put solely on the men in the relationship is just wrong.

VanC · Jan 17, 2010

hillsdown":k2o037ij said:
As you already know I never ever listen ... Sorry Van.. :lol2:

I think Vday is a bunch of BS. the only time I ever got anything was when hubby and I were just engaged and my mom was down so we could do wedding arrangements ,it was a Sunday and hubby bought me 3 red roses from a local gas station. I dried the roses and still have them in a vase on the fireplace mantle and it was almost 16 years ago. I never expect anything and do not want anything either.

Last vday he was home and we have I think steak and crab and some really nice wine. We ate at the table (which we usually never do) with candles and the good crystal and china and we spent hours just talking. That was a great evening and one I will always remember. Then things got hot and sweaty and get your minds out of the gutter it is not what you think. We went out to check cows and Muriel had just calved and had a uterine prolapse so we spent the rest of the evening putting it back in and tending to the calf. See, that is a memorable Valentines day. The cow lived long enough to raise her calf and take in an orphan as well.

I doubt hubby will be home this year but if he is we will just have a nice dinner together and just enjoy our time together.

Everyday should be Valentines day, everyday you should cherish the one you love, not just one day a year. The fact that the burden gets put solely on the men in the relationship is just wrong.

Darn it!! I'm trying to stir some crap with the ladies and you gotta come on here and be all nice and stuff. :lol2: Seriously, your last paragraph is right on the money. I think this guy's target audience is young 20 and 30 somethings that are single or recently married. Us folks that have been married awhile know it takes more than candy and flowers to make it work.

rockridgecattle · Jan 18, 2010

i do not mind flowers a few weeks before valentines, they are a dang whole lot cheaper. But i really like it when hubby brings home wild flowers in the summer. He usually picks me a vase full a couple times a summer. I think they are even better than valentine roses. {But i will never turn down a bunch of roses }

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Normally i just cook a real nice dinner and then we watch a movie. However a few friends of ours got the idea of having a games night with friends to take the pressure off. So there will be PS3 and board games for an evening.