Marriage proposal

[Sir Loin]

Marriage proposal
A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Jeff proposed to me an hour ago."

"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.

"Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a Hell."

Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him just how wrong he is."
********
An elderly man approached a very beautiful young woman in Wal-Mart.

"Excuse me," he said, "I've lost my wife somehow.

Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the old fellow, said,"Certainly, Sir, do you know where your wife might be?"

"I have no idea... but every time I talk to a woman with a big bust like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere."
********
Senior Dress Code
Many of us "Old Folks" (those over 50, WAY over 50, or hovering near 50) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We are unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together And should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo's and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a walker

And last, but not least

13. Thongs and Depends

 

[*Cowgirl*]

:lol:

 

[chrisy]

couldn't agree more with the last one I hate seeing an old person looking like mutton dressed as lamb. be modern but dress to your age.

 

[funky 4-Her]

:lol:

 

[Miss Daisy]

or spandex with ANYTHING!

:lol:

 

[GMN]

couldn't agree more with the last one I hate seeing an old person looking like mutton dressed as lamb. be modern but dress to your age.

When I think of old people I think like 80 not 50!

Gail

 

[VanC]

When I think of old people I think like 80 not 50!

Gail

Thank you!!

 

[Susie David]

Hey now....some of us think of the 50 year olds as the younger generation.
Have taken to wearing Hawiian shirts these days and since the broken foot sandles are rather comfortable. Still wear a broad brimmed hat on sunny days and get some funny looks from the younger kids who still wear the western uniform that we grew up with. Still dress to go dancing with the bride but keep my hat in the car.
DMc

 

[chrisy]

When I think of old people I think like 80 not 50!

Gail

Thank you!!

I'm the same age as you Van I don't think of us as old, but I do for the dress code the post is about.

 

[cowgirl580]

When I think of old people I think like 80 not 50!

Gail

:shock: 50 is ancient! 40 is almost ancient! ;-)

 

[GMN]

When I think of old people I think like 80 not 50!

Gail

:shock: 50 is ancient! 40 is almost ancient! ;-)

You won't think that when you are in your 30-40's, time goes by so fast, it makes your head spin in circles!

Gail

 

[Horticattleman]

"Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a be nice."

Is it just me or did the word "God" get bleeped out? Just asking

 

[Txwalt]

"Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a be nice."

Is it just me or did the word "God" get bleeped out? Just asking

The opposite of heaven was bleeped out.

Walt

 

[chrisy]

"Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a be nice."

Is it just me or did the word "God" get bleeped out? Just asking

The opposite of heaven was bleeped out.

Walt

if you want to use that word, do he and then two 11's it gets through.

 

[Sir Loin]

He eleven is exactly why I got this little PM! :lol:

Quote:

If you continue to use tricks to get around the software that tracks profanity on this board, I'll report you to Macon. He doesn't ask a lot of the posters, but he does request no profanity be used because of youngsters reading the boards. I have warned you before. I won't do it again....Mod

 

[M Gravlee]

I really do wish that Members would not use other characters to get around the word censor. I realize that some of the words are very marginal as to whether they are considered inappropriate or not but you have to draw the line somewhere.

Thanks!

 

[chrisy]

He eleven is exactly why I got this little PM! :lol:

Quote:

If you continue to use tricks to get around the software that tracks profanity on this board, I'll report you to Macon. He doesn't ask a lot of the posters, but he does request no profanity be used because of youngsters reading the boards. I have warned you before. I won't do it again....Mod

got it wont use it, not sure if I have...usually use *&^%£ keys

 

[Sir Loin]

I know, I will be on probation for a year for this one.
But it fits in so well here! :roll:
SL


After numerous rounds of "We dont even know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter, and it appeared to contain a single line of coded essage: 370HSSV-O773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to NASA. With no clue as to its meaning they eventually asked Britain's MI6 for help. Within a minute MI6 cabled the White House with this reply "Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."

 

[chrisy]

I know, I will be on probation for a year for this one.
But it fits in so well here! :roll:
SL


After numerous rounds of "We dont even know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter, and it appeared to contain a single line of coded essage: 370HSSV-O773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to NASA. With no clue as to its meaning they eventually asked Britain's MI6 for help. Within a minute MI6 cabled the White House with this reply "Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."

slapped wrist over this one....wash your mouth out. ;-)