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A cowboy was herding his cows in a remote pasture when suddenly a
brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a
young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie,
leans out the window and asks the cowboy,

"If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your
herd, will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers,

"Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page
on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to
get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA
satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The
young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it
to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image
has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel
spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes,
receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and
says,

"You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the
cowboy.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on
amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man,

"Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give
me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says,

"Okay, why not?"

You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy.

"You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get
paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked.
You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't
know a thing about cows...

Now give me back my dog."
 
this reminds me of branding a couple years back. Not exactly a congressman or guessing number of cattle, but funny anyways.

The ranchand (Bill) is branding, I'm giving shots, and my mom is banding. At the time we were at, what we call, the East Ranch. (East of the main ranch) and there is a rental house on this property. About halfway through some yuppie looking guy in penny loafers shows up. He watches for a while. He then asked the question of all questions to my mom..."What are you doing, trimming his nails" :shock: :shock: What a moment. I could see the sarcasm comming out when she said.."Yes thatswhat im doing" and she bands this calf. :lol: :lol: The color drained from this guys face and he turned around and left.

I think that this was about the best moment of that day! ;-)

It still makes me laugh today :lol:

~Britani~ 8)
 
Sounds like the perfect description of national animal ID... Only you get to pay for all the hardware, the data and satellite service, the insurance, gas, and lease on the BMW, and user fees Bush wants to put in at USDA for the Congressman's time, all so you can get that answer he already knew to the question you didn't ask and service you didn't need when all you really wanted was to be left alone in the first place.

Yep, I'm from the government and I'm here to help you...

RUN-- RUN LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT! RRRRRUUUUUUNNNNNNNN!!!!!

OL JR
 
Sounds like the perfect description of national animal ID... Only you get to pay for all the hardware, the data and satellite service, the insurance, gas, and lease on the BMW, and user fees Bush wants to put in at USDA for the Congressman's time, all so you can get that answer he already knew to the question you didn't ask and service you didn't need when all you really wanted was to be left alone in the first place.

Yep, I'm from the government and I'm here to help you...

RUN-- RUN LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT! RRRRRUUUUUUNNNNNNNN!!!!!

OL JR
 

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