I failed....feels like in everything....

[IluvABbeef]

Hey everyone.

I really don't know how to say this or what board to post this on or what. I really feel like crap right now, feels like it's the worst day of my life. And I honestly don't know how to tell my folks about this, that's how scared I am. I don't know whether they'll have a yelling fit at me, or whether they'll cry and hug me, I really don't know.

I rarely discuss my school stuff on here, if any at all, because usually you lot either get bored to death with it or it's too dam complicated.

Yes, this IS about my schooling.


My first year/semester went off good, and just started going downhill a little from the second semester, didn't do as well as I wanted in my first semester/second year, then suddenly hit rock bottom in my second semester of my second year. All because I got a failing grade on ONE course. ONE COURSE, THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!!

That course happened to be a first year physics course, and I did good in my assignments and labs, got a PASSING GRADE on my labs, but when it came to my final exam.....WHAM!! A big F for that. No credits. Nothing. And the course sylabus that we get at the start of the term said that students can only pass the course when they have above 50% in their lab!! And yet I get a big #$%&^*! F as final grade!!!

SO, I was hoping that in my statement of results they might give me a warning or something that I COULD continue this university career. But no...I got far worse than that: "Unsatisfactory standing: required to withdraw."

I am a total failure. And I feel sick right now. This is far worse than being homesick.

So I don't know what to do. It's a nightmare, I tell you. I don't even remember coming home to my lil' apartment, all I remember is once I closed my door the dam broke and bawled my eyes out.

So my plans for some upcoming courses I was planning to take in the fall are COMPLETELY erased, I might as well drop out of the courses I'm taking this summer, and work for WallyWorld for all I care. :x

I guess I better start looking for a job. But I don't know. I just don't know. :help: :help: :help: :help:

I don't think a cute kitten or puppy or anything that usually makes me smile will lift this dark and ugly cloud over my head. I don't want anybody to feel pity for me or feel sorry for me, I just wanted to share this and....<sigh> I don't know what to say anymore. Or what to do, or ANYTHING.

 

[Bez&gt;]

You can let life kick you in the asss - or you can get back on the train and bust that same asss to rise to the top.

In the final analysis life is not fair - however - it IS what you make it.

Now - quit your belly aching and your moaning and get out there and DO IT!!

Have a (flavour of choice) milk shake before you respond.

Bez>

 

[Alice]

Do you have a junior college nearby that your university will accept credits from? If so, retake you physics there and try to transfer it in.

Also...just a little story. My daughter's first 2 years at college were the pits. She finally quit with a .76 GPA. She had no interest in it and was going because I told her she had to.

When she went back to school, several years later, on her nickle, she went in with that same .76 at a junior college. 3 years later she graduated cum laude with a degree in elementary education.

You aren't a failure...you just need to get your head in the right place for a college career...then go forward. You can do it. You certainly are bright enough to do it.

Alice

 

[J. T.]

Karin,
Step back and take a look at the whole picture. Regardless of what you think, this is not the end of the world. You made an F but that does not make YOU a failure. You failed at one aspect in your life. I have done the same......everyone has. Everyone who is a success has failed at some point in their endeavor to succeed. No one enjoys failure. It hurts, it's humiliating, it's discouraging, but it happens. It seems like, from what you've shared, that you failed in spite of your best efforts. The same has happened to countless people before you. You have an opportunity at your disposal. You can wallow in self pity, or you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try to make another go of it. I know a young man, who unlike you, failed for lack of trying. He lost his scholarship to college and flunked out. Academics had always been easy for this boy in school, but in college he decided to play instead of study. So, he went to another school, minus the scholarship, worked hard and transferred to the largest university in the state. He got his degree and was accepted into the medical program of a university in another state. From there, he graduated, and eventually took over the practice of another doctor. Today this successful young man operates two clinics, has a beautiful wife, and three fine children. He lives in a upscale home with a view to die for. This man failed but he is not a failure. You failed, but it's up to you whether you become a failure or a success. And that success may not occur in the field that you had envisioned, but it is attainable.

 

[AngusLimoX]

If you think you are a failure - guaranteed - take that Wally World job.

Don't blame calamity or malice for failing the course - you knew you were on the line - it doesn't state in your post what you did about it.

Most, if not all of us have been where you are, if not worse.

Some of the best leaders and highest achievers are those who have had to go back and redo things they bunged up.

Identify where you could manage things better, hop back on that bronco and grab your dreams.

Somebody at 80 might be able to call themselves a failure , you don't have that right.

 

[Tod Dague]

Suck it up and take the class again. Crying never fixed anything. ;-)

 

[cowboy44]

Normally I would not respond to something like this but I see you are hurting. I am old enough to be your father I have 3 sons and 4 grandkids. I have alway enjoyed reading your posts and your pictures of your home and in so doing, I have always admired you for the zest for life you have so there is no way you are a failure and if I judge your parents correctly by your stories all you need to do is tell them how you feel and let them give you a big hug and make decisions about what you want to do in the future, as you mature in life there will be many set backs that you will encounter this is just one of them and it is not the end of the world. As for your parents there is a whole lot worst things that could have happened to you. Friends of my kids have destroyed there lives with drugs and alcohol, some have been killed in wrecks some have died from medical problems, So I am saying you are not a failure, go to your parents that is what they are there for you will always be there little girl no matter how old you get.
Your friend
Donnie

 

[Horticattleman]

If it makes you feel anybetter, I failed miserably my first 2 semesters in college. First one I had really bad grades, second one I was made to sit out a year. I sat out and worked my butt off and realized I wanted to give it another shot. Went back and tried to recover a 1.3 GPA! I did it though and actually I have 2 degrees and own 3 businesses. Trust me that is not the end of the world and you are not a failure. Finish crying and get your butt in gear and get back after it.

 

[branDcalf]

I know a few people who failed a class, had to re-take it, and went on to graduate. A pain in the neck, but it can be done. My favorite professor had his PhD in biology and was a fur trapper. He took nine years to get his associates cause he kept getting side-tracked (he says). But, he was paying his own way and finally was ready. A friend of mine worked her tail off and flunked gross anatomy. She almost quit, but went ahead and re-took it and is now glad she did. Heck, when you go out for jobs, the employer never knows that you flunked a class. They also don't know GPA. If you have the needed degree, it's all good.

 

[Jogeephus]

You are young. Problably too young to be in college. Take some time and get a job that will teach you some discipline. Once you have the discipline, you can do anything you set your mind to. Set some realistic goals for yourself and don't settle for anything less. Remember, its not how hard you work but what you get accomplished when you are working.

Wishing you only the best.

 

[rattler]

Karin I would like to be able to tell you life is a bed of rose's but it ain't sometime's it will slap you right in the face you got to get up and smack it right back bon't let this get you down.Think of this as a test cause for the rest of your life is gonna be a tested from time to time just when you think thing's are goin your way something will jump up and bite you.As far as Mom and Dad your are their Daughter they will alway's be proud of you no matter what(I know this cause i'm a parent)so step back take a beep breath and you will figure it out take your time you your are young.Good luck with what ever you decide.


rattler

 

[Green Creek]

Karin,

Could it be that you spent too much of your time pining for home and hanging around with us when that time could have been used on physics?

My son was put on academic probation in his second year and it seems that is the killer year for everyone. He was a loner and always homesick and spent his time being depressed and blue instead of applying himself. We got him into counseling that summer and the next year he pulled a straight A in everything (engineering school).

I expect you are feeling pretty humiliated also so don't keep beating yourself up and try to look for the best solution. My former boss always said every kick could be a boost and I'm sure you will find the boost in this situation somehow. Good luck.

 

[cattleluvr18]

take this from a person who's failed a few clases of her own. of corse they werent college but still high school. ok so you've released you anger, good. next, tell mom and dad. no matter how they react they will find out one way or another...trust me! now, go and retake that course!! you can only do better.

 

[msscamp]

I am a total failure. And I feel sick right now. This is far worse than being homesick.

No, you're not. Do you honestly believe you're the first person who ever flunked a class? I can tell you in all honesty that your not! I flunked two of them - different semesters, both math classes.

So I don't know what to do. It's a nightmare, I tell you. I don't even remember coming home to my lil' apartment, all I remember is once I closed my door the dam broke and bawled my eyes out.

Here is what you do. First off, stop the pity party - it's counterproductive, makes your nose run, and makes your eyes swollen, red, and puffy - very unattractive on all counts. You're smart enough to know that, too. Next, you go visit the professor and have an honest discussion with him about what happened, and why he thinks it happened. Then, you go visit the Dean of Education (that is not the right title, but I can't remember what it is. I have no idea what it would be in Canada), present your side of it, what you found out from your professor, and find out who you need to petition for re-instatement. Write a calm, to the point, non-emotional letter and explain what happened, how you're going to fix it, and what steps you're going to take to make sure it doesn't happen again. While you're there, find out about possible resources - such as tutors, support groups if applicable, study groups, etc. If there are no study groups, create one! - to help you make sure it never happens again. Now, dry your eyes, blow your nose, look in the mirror, repeat "I'm not a failure, this is just a temporary set-back" until you believe it, and get to it! I know you just well enough to know you can make this a reality! :heart:

 

[IluvABbeef]

Well, I've been trying to get a hold of an Academic Advisor to discuss this problem course, and I've yet to hear from him when to meet. I'm also thinking of seeing the prof of the course I took and asking him a few things. So ALX, that's what I'm trying to do about it.

And if I'm fighting a losing battle, and end up getting kicked out anyway (Horti, I have the same GPA average as you had: 1.3), there are actually several colleges around the province of interest that I can look into applying for there. Maybe it'll be easier for me that way, or it might be easier if I leave it for a while, get a job someplace, then come back again in a year or two with a fresher outlook on life.

I just have to think things over a bit more, and talk with mom and dad too.

The thing that bothers me though is that I took the physics not because I was required to, but because I thought maybe it'll help me with other courses. And I did have second thoughts about taking it too. Reason I say is because on the little flow-chart thingy that the faculty hands out to students taking the degree of interest, there are courses that are required to be taken, courses recommended to be taken, and then a list of courses of choice (APEs). NOWHERE on there did Physics 124 pop up. Only on the Pre-vet flowchart, did it pop up, and I am NOT in the Pre-vet degree. And I didn't get anything concerning I took the course despite it not being required/reccommended for my degree. So that's why I'm seeing my advisor. I'm wondering if they can take it off because of that, but I doubt it and will probably be told so.
So I guess we'll see what happens with that.

I just hope all of you are right, that things will turn out for the better, I really do.

 

[Workinonit Farm]

Karin, one day many years from now, you will look back on this experience and see it for what it is......a bump in the road.

Right now it feels like the end of your world, end of your future and all that but really it isn't. Having to tell your parents seems like an overwhelmingly scary thing to do, but you need to do it, you'll feel better because you faced that fear and you and your folks can work it out. Even if they do yell at you its because they love you and only want the best for their little girl.

Have a good cry, do like Bez said and have that milkshake, get mad about it then deal with it. You can do it. One needs to face their fears head-on in order to move-on. I know, easier said than done, but trust me, it can be done and its well worth it.

You'll be fine, you're a bright girl with a bright future ahead of her.

Katherine

 

[forageconverter]

IluvAbeef,

I'm fairly new to the boards and really don't know anything about you. But after reading your post and then all the replies to it, I can't but help think of the quote at the end of the movie, "It's a Wonderful Life", when Clarence writes to George,

"No man is a failure who has friends."

It appears you have lots of friends, so you can't possibly be a failure.

 

[Jogeephus]

I think most on this board have been at a low point in their lives and can empathize with you. How you deal with this is what matters - what builds your character. This might be a better lesson than anything you learned in college so far. The important thing is to identify the causes of this setback. Write them down on paper or etch them in your mind but don't let these things get in the way of your dreams again.

 

[Beefy]

where to start.

ok first off. do you know what you want to do? Like are you deadset on a specific major and career? i still to this day dont know what i want to do. what is your major anyway? if you dont know what you are in school for, you can use your electives to explore areas of interest OR just take some time off and figure it out. work a while. i wish i had done this. i was just spinning my wheels trying to figure it out and never did.

second, it has seemed to me for a while that you are depressed. ive hinted at this before, encouraging you to get out and meet people and make some new friends that can help keep your mind off home. when you are at college you just have to put home behind you and focus. believe me i know. i was totally depressed in college (now i'm severely depressed but thats a different thread) and lots of people get that way. you are no good to yourself or anyone else like that, buts its not as simple as just getting over it. i wish i had seen a counselor or somebody about it. instead i went from straight A's and eventually wound up with a 2.3 and by that point it was nearly impossible to bring up any b/c i had accumulated so many hours. need a 2.5 to go into education, so that didnt happen.

physics and chemistry seem to be the courses that people fail most often. it seems as if people are only good at one or the other. i must be a physics person because CLEARLY i am not a chemistry person. CLEARLY.in fact my sophomore year (which by the way is the hardest statistically-- people go thru a lot of changes this year) i was failing chemistry miserably as was my roommate and best friend. we all had Fs. one of our good friends who went to college there as well got killed in a car accident and we had to postpone our final so we could attend her funeral. the night before the final we were all studying and i was like this is pointless. so i got drunk off my butt and went to bed. they stayed up studying all night. i had no idea what the final was even talking about. i came out of the course with a D and they both failed. dont ask me how.

lol, i have been there. i even had my mail routed to go to my address at college so my parents didnt have to know about my grades.

the way it works here is that if you fall below a standard gpa you get put on probation for a semester. if you dont bring it up that semester, then you get the boot. so were you already on probation and if so why? i dont think you were partying too hard. and you seem to be smart enough to cut the mustard. so i lean toward the depression/preoccupation with home. and maybe some lack of direction.probably a little bit of non interest in core courses as well. once you get into your major course you will enjoy them a lot more.

i have several more points to expand on but i'm sorta rambling now so i'll submit and think on it some more. i can totally relate though.

 

[Wewild]

where to start. ......

the way it works here is that if you fall below a standard gpa you get put on probation for a semester. if you dont bring it up that semester, then you get the boot. so were you already on probation and if so why? i dont think you were partying too hard. and you seem to be smart enough to cut the mustard. so i lean toward the depression/preoccupation with home. and maybe some lack of direction.probably a little bit of non interest in core courses as well. once you get into your major course you will enjoy them a lot more.

i have several more points to expand on but i'm sorta rambling now so i'll submit and think on it some more. i can totally relate though.

Better said than I am capable ...Beefy.

I think your right here. It wasn't just one "F".

Maybe it was to complicated for us to understand until you explained it.

I've been there and seen that happen.

IluvABbeef ...I wish you the best. It always comes down to having your GPA above the minimum lv which is at the "C" level before you can enter your major.

i wish i had seen a counselor or somebody about it. instead i went from straight A's and eventually wound up with a 2.3 and by that point it was nearly impossible to bring up any b/c i had accumulated so many hours. need a 2.5 to go into education, so that didnt happen.

Good post. Beefy.