Homewrecking Cattle

[SheriMonk]

We recently moved to a cattle town - I am a reporter and unexpectantly, I've sort of fallen in love with the ranching culture as a result of covering the industry in so much depth for the paper.

I've registered a brand and plan to get one (don't laugh) in the spring. Well, one for now - I live in town but am currently looking for land.

However, here's the hitch... my husband is just not into this idea. He doesn't understand why the industry interests me, doesn't want any cattle or even a horse. (though he would like to live outside of town.)

Just wondering if a similar situation has occured on these boards before (or is occuring) and how others have been able to cope with a mismatched cattle coupling.

The way I figure it, he's lucky I want a cow and not a cowboy.

 

[Limomike]

Its usually the other way around from what I hear... man wanting the cows/ranch life... woman doesnt.
Same interests definitely helps. Maybe take him around where you know others who have cattle, or horses, see if he might get "hooked". But I tend to think someone either has it in their blood or not.

 

[6M Ranch]

If he's agreeable to moving out of town, go with that. I can't imagine he would object to a few head. Unfortunately, (at least on these boards), you would be known as a HOBBY RANCHER!!! Given some time, he might start to enjoy your hobby too.

 

[Brandonm2]

Buying a ranch and cattle is kind of a big lifestyle change...and investment. Having a bunch of cows that are dependent on you, means feeding hay in winter (and in Canada it gets a "little" chilly), assisting cows calving sometimes late at night, getting out of bed because the sheriff called and said one of your cows were out on the road (and you get such calls even when they aren't your cows and sometimes when you can't find any trace that there was EVER a cow out), it means having mud and manure permanently stained on your boots, risking your life trying to drive 650 lb steer calves and 1400 lb cows into smaller and smaller spaces to sell and/or medicate, you will cut both arms/hands repeatedly working/building barbed wire fence, summer "vacation" will be spent clipping pastures, rebuilding fences, or stacking hay, etc, etc. AND land and cattle cost lots of money. I don't give marital advice.....never been there, never done that......but this seems like an awfully big lifestyle change (and 5 cows are as much work as 30) for one spouse to impose on the other.

 

[novatech]

My wife and I have an understanding.
I don't go shopping.
She don,t mess with cows.

 

[Limomike]

......but this seems like an awfully big lifestyle change (and 5 cows are as much work as 30) for one spouse to impose on the other.

Funny you say that.. because when I took over my Dad's operation many years ago, I was planning on reducing the number of cows. He told me at the time; "IF your going to run with 25 cows, may as well do 50"
But yes, its a great undertaking for someone who's heart is NOT into it.
Most cattlemen enjoy the solitude of being out with the herd, watching them graze, working hard to keep them healthy, whether its below freezing, or hot as heck. All the nasty stuff that comes with all of that is just part of whole ordeal of raising cattle.
When I married my wife, I never thought she would be the type who would want cattle, yet alone take on the feeding chores when I am tied up doing something else; or help drive the hay truck, or get supplies when I need them. And on top of that, she has helped me dig out of a snow drift when its about 4' deep, or mud up to my ankles. Or when it is so hot cutting brush or fixing fence, that she will bring me water, or iced tea to take away that dry, hot feeling in my mouth.
But here it is, 25 years later, and she doesnt even complain when I tell her I am going to go buy 5 new registered cows to add to our herd. She only goes with me to look them over and give me her opinion, but leaves the final decision up to me. THAT, my friends, is a good woman, who I NEVER thought would be acceptable of a cattle operation when I married her. I am blessed.

 

[dun]

Get a new husband

 

[CKC1586]

hum, well I was raised on a farm, married a "city boy". Long story short he has been long gone and I am back to my roots.

 

[grannysoo]

He's very lucky that you want cows instead of a cowboy.

Good luck with the cows.

 

[CowCop]

~~

Start slow & small and work him into it.

Keep it positive and be realistic.

He will either grow with it or he will walk away.

Don't risk more than you can afford to lose.

Best of luck,

 

[randiliana]

~~

Start slow & small and work him into it.

Keep it positive and be realistic.

He will either grow with it or he will walk away.

Don't risk more than you can afford to lose.

Best of luck,

CowCop said it well.

Both me and my husband were fortunate to be raised in the agricultural business. For us it is a partnership.

Does yours understand how much this means to you? And that you are willing to do all the work? You have time to work on him, it is a fairly long while til spring. You may want to consider just starting with a calf or yearling to feed out for your deepfreeze. If he sees that you can raise a beef cheaper than you can buy it that may win him over. Look over your options.

 

[SheriMonk]

Thanks all... food for thought. And I know, hobby farms are frowned upon. But not around here, at least with me. The local ranchers are pleased to see cattle related storeis making the paper at all and seem just fine with me wanting to go through the process hands-on myself. They've been awesome. I sure hope it remains that way.

As for the work, I think I am prepared enough for that aspect.
(I think).

But I've been out at weighings, talked to the vets, spent way too many hours at the auction ring than I should have and spend time on individual ranches and even hung out at a feed lot for a day.

Much of it was working on stories, but much of it wasn't.

Well, I think he'll warm up to it eventually. I guess he'll have to.

Because I'm getting cattle.

Thanks.

 

[MikeC]

Find a cowboy that already has cattle and a place to keep them. Problem solved.

 

[grubbie]

Had the same situation, I left ranching for a while and met my wife. I told her someday I would like to get back to it someday and her answer was, "Just don't expect me to help, cause I am NOT that girl and never will be!" I told her that was fine. When we came back to the family ranch it took her one spring of seeing the baby calves in the pasture and she was hooked. From city girl to cowgirl in one year. Now, I couldn't do this without her, she's become a great cowhand. Good luck!

 

[MistyMorning]

Homewrecking cattle? Your title kinda indicates your already expecting that. There are probably a fair amount of women on this forum who do the majority of the farm/cattle work and maybe some more will weigh in on this for you.

The one thing you and your husband will have to come to terms with is that he will HAVE TO help from time to time. It's been my experience that either physicaly or for safety reasons there are just jobs that require assistance (mostly at a very inconvenient time too). My husband travels a fair amount for his job, but I am fortunate to have a daughter that helps and wonderful neighbors that are always willing to pitch in. So if he is just totaly against helping in any way you will need some kind of network to fall back on.

JMHO

 

[3waycross]

Do what makes you happy. Life's short and then you die!!!!!!!

Having said that I also agree with the poster who said don't risk anything you're not willing to lose.

Also don't worry about being called a hobby farmer. If you total up all the calves shipped every year by Hobbby farmers it's a lot of beef.

 

[DavisBeefmasters]

I was hesitant to get into cattle at first too -- work, chores, vet bills, etc. etc.

...so hubby devised a plan that we would start by raising 3 steer our 1st year (1 for us, 2 he had already sold).

...after 4 months of raising them, I got him a 3-n-1 cow for his birthday present!

...now I couldn't go back to not having them around, how boring would that be?

CowCop is right --> start slow and small and get him hooked 8)

 

[jcarkie]

my wife was raised on a farm, she bottle fed dairy calves.
she "HATES" cattle and chores. i was raised in the city most of my life 6-16 years old and i love farming and cattle, i read it , watch it, everything.
we have an understanding i do it and she doesn't.
i don't push her and i don't expect her to help.
she does help when i am in a bind, pull calves, bottle feed, not much but we work it out.
i am not giving her up, for a cow, well ???

 

[Gate Opener]

Have you explained the tax advantages? That might get him interested.

I never thought my husband would enjoy cows but he does. He finds it relaxing to just watch them, as do I.

Does your husband like animals at all?

Be sure to get real calm easy to work cows(no heifers). You need things to go as smoothly as possible starting out to win him over.

 

[SheriMonk]

The homewrecking title was a little bit factitious.
He generally likes animals but has no other interest in cattle other than seeing it on a plate.

I suspect that he'll adapt and adjust - and all the tips have been helpful. We have two sons - one is totally into the idea and the other really wouldn't care either way so long as his video games weren't cutoff.

Thanks again!