Headlines for 2029

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cowwrangler

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Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh
> >> largest
> >> country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White
> >> minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's
> >> third
> >> language.
> >>
> >>
> >> Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and
> >> livestock.
> >>
> >>
> >> Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
> >>
> >>
> >> Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
> >>
> >> Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American
> >> Territory of the
> >> Middle East (formerly known as Iraq , Afghanistan , Syria and
> >> Lebanon ).
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least
> >> 10 more
> >> years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica
> >>
> >> Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported
> >> legally,
> >> but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
> >>
> >>
> >> George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and
> >> reduces
> >> mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
> >>
> >>
> >> 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to
> >> weight loss.
> >>
> >>
> >> Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
> >>
> >>
> >> Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter
> >> speed,
> >> they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
> >>
> >>
> >> Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil
> >> rights.
> >>
> >> Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
> >>
> >>
> >> New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
> >> swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
> >>
> >>
> >> Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political
> >> contributions to campaign accounts.
> >>
> >>
> >> IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
> >>
> >>
> >> Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
> >>
 
Bullbuyer":300vzaaw said:
Forgot one:

President Crowder's 3rd term in office cut short by scandal involving illegal transportation of oversized humanoids.

and leaving them on the dirt bowl outside the once was White House.
 
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