Getting Married!! Advice Welcome

[Auburn_Ag]

I was wondering if anyone of you had any advice or words of wisdom to share with me and my Bride to be, since we will be getting married in a month. Better yet do you have any advice on how to make some extra money, since she will start law school this fall! :)

We have already been given some good advice from our parents, our Preacher and older friends. I thought it would be interesting and helpful to hear what some of you.

 

[Lammie]

Don't fight over little stuff. Try not to go to bed mad.

 

[Bullbuyer]

Advice for people getting married comes down to one word:

DON'T !!!

 

[Alice]

If ya'll haven't already, read the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

Alice

 

[Angus Cowman]

Marriage is the hardest job you will ever have and if you BOTH work at itand it will be the most rewarding
don't get upset over little stuff,don't bring up things from the past if there is a problem work it out then go forward don't bring it back up the next time you get in a lil tiff

never leave without telling the other that you love them because it may be the last time you have the chance

Just remember in everything you do to look at it from the other persons point of view

Be happy, love each other like there is no tomorrow, and work hard everyday

A kind word evry now and then can speak volumes

Let the other person know how much you appreciate them

Have fun and Goodluck

 

[Lammie]

I will put it to you this way... I told my husband that if he wanted to turn me on, to do the dishes... :heart:

 

[Dave]

Things like run and hide come to mind.

But that is just from my prospective. The easy parts will be real easy. The tough parts will be the hardest work you will ever have to do. Good Luck

 

[Limomike]

I was wondering if anyone of you had any advice or words of wisdom to share with me and my Bride to be, since we will be getting married in a month. Better yet do you have any advice on how to make some extra money, since she will start law school this fall! :)

We have already been given some good advice from our parents, our Preacher and older friends. I thought it would be interesting and helpful to hear what some of you.

Sounds to me like you are starting off right by listening to your parents, preacher, and older friends. But in addition to that, I would say two words: COMPROMISE, COMMUNICATION. They go hand in hand, and work well in all relationships.
Also, dont expect things in return. Just do what you know is right.
As far as making extra money... I would say to look at ways to keep your expenses down, and NOT get into any kind of huge silly debts. IE.. new vehicles, equipment, house too big...etc. Thats it for now.

 

[cfpinz]

Advice for people getting married comes down to one word:

DON'T !!!

As usual, my esteemed colleague is right on the money.

Our biggest hurdle was accepting each other for just who we are, not what we could be. Clear as mud?

Our best decision: Seperate accounts. We've never argued over money. She's tighter than I am, if we had joint accounts I could see her standing at the door with the shotgun when I brought home another junk truck. I'd be pretty safe, though. She's a terrible shot.

 

[mobgrazer]

Count to 10
Communicate
Inside jokes

With those 3 things there will be less arguments, able to talk it out, and have something to lol about.

 

[grannysoo]

Women marry men hoping they will change.

Men marry women hoping they will not change.

Nothing like marriage, good or bad. If it's good, it's great. If it's bad, it's he$$.

 

[iowahawkeyes]

Is she your best friend? That's important I think. You have to enjoy being with each other and have similar interests.
Be a romantic. If you're not, have someone help you. Us girls love to be thought of for no special reason. Incidentally, my husband is not a romantic, quite stoic actually, but I still love him. :)

 

[backhoeboogie]

Throw out all logic during any discussions. In fact, don't even use the A or B quadrants of your brain and your D quadrant should be used sparingly. If she wants to talk, go to the C quadrant and stay there.

After 29 years, I can tell you that the salesman at the hardware store will always know more than you know about anything. :D When she brings it home, install it. It is much easier to just replace it a year from now. Then she will think the salesman was a jerk and not you. Caution: Never mention the fact that a salesman made a sale.

Find out what she is really good at and cultivate that. Brag on it and never take good attributes for granted.

Put the lid down and pick up your dirty clothes.

Stay away from being friends with any married women. That's trouble. Pay especially close attention to her married friends.

Don't say "I do" unless you are really committed to doing it. Good marriages are tough.

 

[Ryder]

Be a romantic. If you're not, have someone help you. Us girls love to be thought of for no special reason. Incidentally, my husband is not a romantic, quite stoic actually, but I still love him. :)

Two words women use a lot that I have never been able to define.

"Romantic" and "sweet".
I have asked several female types to define these words. They just get a silly look on their face but never actually answer the question.

If any men out there understand this and know how to explain it to a redneck country boy, I would appreciate it.
It may also be useful to Auburn-Ag

 

[DavisBeefmasters]

I was wondering if anyone of you had any advice or words of wisdom to share with me and my Bride to be, since we will be getting married in a month. Better yet do you have any advice on how to make some extra money, since she will start law school this fall! :)

We have already been given some good advice from our parents, our Preacher and older friends. I thought it would be interesting and helpful to hear what some of you.

Best said by a minister at a friends wedding... he asked an older couple married for 50+ years the secret to a successful marriage. The older gentleman said "It's easy. We agreed up front that I would make all the major decisions and she would make all the minor decisions... and in over 50 years, I'm proud to say there's been no major decisions to be made"

Seriously, we have an agreement and "code words" for each other... example if one of us is working on a project (fixing something in the barn, fixing something in the kitchen, etc.), and say it's not necessarily going as planned... if the other one decides to offer their opinion and it's not wanted either of us can say "stay in the truck"... and the other must keep the rest of their opinions to themselves... it keeps the issue from escalating.

Congratulations, focus on the positive, count your blessings daily, and let the other stuff go - no sense wasting any energy on the negative.

 

[rockridgecattle]

1. never go to bed angry with each other
2. listen and hear each other.
3. this may sound stupid, but agree on a $ amount that is okay for each other to spend without discussing it. Not including bills and groceries,... the extras. Hubby and i agreed on $75.00. In 15 1/2 years of marriage he went over the 75.00 only once, last christmas and bought himself a TV. Me i am a tightwad so $75 is hard to do.
4. The first two years will be tough in adjustments to each other even if you lived together before marriage. It's those idiosincrities that brought us together will now tear us apart kind of thing. As well, marriage proof your marriage cause it's a documented fact that year 5, 7,11, 13 are difficult years for some reason.
5. BIG ONE
If you family farm, inlaws have their place and your place is with your bride, visa versa. Stand up for your wife right off the bat. Don't let it go. If she feels slighted, hug her. IF she wants you to take them (your parents) to task do it. Right away. Don't let her to have to ask you for a week if you straightened the mess out. Talk to your parents as you see fit, respectfully, but stand up for your wife letting her know she can count on you. Do what you have to do to make your parents understand boundaries. Visa vera with hers.
6. If you family farm, and have not done so, you need to work with your parents on succession planning especially if other siblings are involved in farming or not. Nothing worse than having a wife worry about the future that pertains to you, her and the kids.

Lastly, priorities. It is so easy to get caught up in life, that you both forget your marriage. This means "DATE NIGHT"

 

[kerley]

Don't talk in your sleep. It causes problems.
Tom

 

[Txwalt]

Marriage is like riding one of those bicycles with two seats, two sets of pedals and one steering wheel. Your marriage can only be steered in one direction at any given time. But, it takes both of you together to balance the bike. Most marriages have one person pedaling harder than the other. Sometimes you'll go down hill and sometimes you'll go up. As long as both of you do your share of pedaling you'll keep moving. Its when one person gets tired off pulling the other along. Thats when you'll crash.

I havn't even started drinking yet.

Walt

 

[Jogeephus]

If ya'll haven't already, read the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

Alice

I agree. Most problems in a marriage or life for that matter are created by poor communication. I assure you that you will learn volumes from this book and it will help your marriage and your life.

 

[rusty]

The main thing to remember is there is no 50/50 you each need to give 100%
no give and take only give