Getting Married!! Advice Welcome

[jedstivers]

Don't

 

[peg4x4]

Don't ether of you EVER say"Well,you otta KNOW why I'm mad/what you did!!" TALK to each other..

 

[HUS]

Marriage is the hardest job you will ever have and if you BOTH work at itand it will be the most rewarding
don't get upset over little stuff,don't bring up things from the past if there is a problem work it out then go forward don't bring it back up the next time you get in a lil tiff

never leave without telling the other that you love them because it may be the last time you have the chance

Just remember in everything you do to look at it from the other persons point of view

Be happy, love each other like there is no tomorrow, and work hard everyday

A kind word evry now and then can speak volumes

Let the other person know how much you appreciate them

Have fun and Goodluck

AC,
You know how to hit the nail on the head...... :clap:
And to everyone else; I have been enlightened by the responses to this thread as much as anybody. Good to see the wisdom and encouragement posted by the CT family to help this young couple.

Auburn_Ag........ Good luck to you and the bride to be. You certainly started off on the right track by choosing carefully WHO you went to for sound advice. Hope the very best for both of you.

HUS

 

[Jalopy]

#1 Do not keep secrets. You will find that you will both know what the other is thinking so do not even try to keep secrets from each other it will create problems.

#2 Always respect each others space and endeavors. Whether you embrace each others activities or viewpoint is not manadatory but respect each others right to have and express their individual views.

Best wishes and Good Luck. JLP

 

[mobgrazer]

I for got a real important one. This happened to me so I'm not joking but keep an open mind when you read it. This did happen right before engagement time for us.

If your deaf and wear a hearing aid tell your partner before you sleep with each other. I had and still do have long hair so it was not visible. But the night she woke me up at an odd time to "flap the sheets" I wasn't able to put it back in.

She thought my ear was sensitive because I would play with it form time to time, but in truth I was changing what program I was running or adjusting the volume. She knew I had issues with my ears but never asked what they were. Because I would talk about going to an audiologist every other month or so I thought she know I was hard of hearing and had hearing aids.

 

[Howdyjabo]

Don't lie or let things drop to avoid/end a fight.
- if you don't agree stand your ground and fight it out. If not the issue will come back over and over. And each time it will prove that you are not worth discussing things with.
Keep fights civil and away from the kids.

Again don't go to bed mad- and don't believe her when she tells you its FINE and is still out of sorts- you have REALLY screwed up. Fix it or she will remember it forever. Women do not forgive and forget till they KNOW you understand how much it/they hurt. A repeat in the future will just bring back all the old hurts DOUBLED.

Your family is your family-you deal with them.Including protecting your wife from them if needed. Do it right then and Do it in front of her so she knows you are doing it.
Her family is her family- make her deal with them.

Don't tell the parents when you are upset with your spouse-- they aren't as forgiving when someone hurts their baby. And they only get to hear one side and they aren't around for the makeup ....

 

[Pickles Dillman]

Just shut up and do what your told! Let her keep your man jewels in her purse with her at all times! Once you go this rout then you will not be responsible for any bad decisions that could (AND WILL) come back to haunt you the rest of your earthly life!
I am planning to follow my own advice but until I do please keep me posted on how its working for you!

P.S. A back rub means just that,A BACK RUB!

 

[ga. prime]

Do not have a joint checking account, unless of course her paycheck is bigger than yours.

 

[ga. prime]

If ya'll haven't already, read the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

Alice

What if the man or the woman is from Mars and Venus?

 

[Pickles Dillman]

Oh and one more thing, always, ALWAYS, flirt with your mother-in-law!

 

[Ryder]

Oh and one more thing, always, ALWAYS, flirt with your mother-in-law!

You never did meet my MIL did you?

 

[Txwalt]

Half of this advice will get you killed! Shoot, My wife was a die hard "Don't go to sleep mad" advocate. She tried to drag me down a couple times when I was leaving the house to take a breather. We actually squared off once. I swear on the bible. " I said "Are you serious. You really want to fight!" After that we just went to sleep mad. We havn't had a fight in a few years now. I almost said "We don't fight any more." That would have been too presumptuis. We havn't fought since. I'm stronger than her. She is way meaner than me though. If I ever layed a hand on her in anger, she would take it out on me 10 fold when I went to sleep.

When my girls are engaged. I'll take their Bo's off to the side and explain the pitfalls of marrying an O'Connor.

I can't think off anything I did so wrong to deserve a purgatory with 2 daughters.

Walt

 

[Angus Cowman]

Walt
You wasn't as bad as me I have 3 at least 2 of them are married and the youngest is 13 so I get to relive them teenage drama yrs 1 more time

 

[ga. prime]

Don't come home a drinkin' with lovin' on your mind.

 

[newrancher]

Tell her everyday how much she means to you, give each other time alone,and last but not least cultivate a sense of humour and you can laugh at each other instead of fighting.

 

[CKC1586]

Marriage is like riding one of those bicycles with two seats, two sets of pedals and one steering wheel. Your marriage can only be steered in one direction at any given time. But, it takes both of you together to balance the bike. Most marriages have one person pedaling harder than the other. Sometimes you'll go down hill and sometimes you'll go up. As long as both of you do your share of pedaling you'll keep moving. Its when one person gets tired off pulling the other along. Thats when you'll crash.

I havn't even started drinking yet.

Walt

Wow, this is the best analogy I have seen on marriage.
Only advise I can offer is don't lie and don't cheat.

 

[angie1]

I'm not going to add more, but I will point out that it is perfectly acceptable (and often a REALLY good idea) to go to bed mad if you can't wrap it up. When people get tired and angry, they say hurtful things they don't mean ~ and once its said you can't take it back. I don't think she will sleep well, but it beats the alternative. Sometimes you just have to step back for a bit.

 

[alacattleman]

Don't come home a drinkin' with lovin' on your mind.

well when i did,,, my mind was the only place it was working,... cause i was dead from the neck down

 

[Limomike]

I'm not going to add more, but I will point out that it is perfectly acceptable (and often a REALLY good idea) to go to bed mad if you can't wrap it up. When people get tired and angry, they say hurtful things they don't mean ~ and once its said you can't take it back. I don't think she will sleep well, but it beats the alternative. Sometimes you just have to step back for a bit.

angie.. you are absolutely right. Good advice.

 

[alacattleman]

i wish you luck AU. this day and age tough, tough on a young couples marriage ...take this commitment together as serious as a heart attack.. alot of those good values have been lost with each younger generation..hope you two celebrate your 50'th