Don't you need a good reason?

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GMN

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One of our extended family members is going thru a divorce, and he still has no idea why his wife filed. Believe me the whole thing is so confusing, when I heard about it, I couldn't believe it, and it still makes no sense.

As far as we all could tell they were happy, they have 2 twin girls. Evidently he came home from work one night, and she said I will move out or you can. He moved out so the kids wouldn't be disrupted, and rented a house, he can't really afford. Since then, she was kind of letting him believe that she would go to counseling, etc.. then last week he was at work, and he got served by the sherriff with divorce papers. He was floored. They had been argueing a little about her friends, and her letting them pick the kids up from daycare, but thats about it. He is truly confused. What made it really bad is that the day he got served, he picked the kids up, and went to the house to talk to her after she got home, and she completely denied knowing anything about him getting served with the papers, surely that can't be, she had to have known.

Anyways, we are all just wondering, doesn't there have to be a reason for one to file for divorce? He has since hired a lawyer, and other things have come out about her that are questionable. Its just a sad situation for the kids, they are only 5. Makes me wonder if I ever really even know her at all?

GMN
 

grannysoo

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No. There need not be a reason.

So........... she's not speaking the truth? She's going to go to counseling but is not?

Look for her new boyfriend to appear soon. They're still hiding it for the moment.
 

Frankie

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There should be a "reason" on the divorce papers. He was apparently satisfied with the relationship, but apparently she wasn't. The holidays are a difficult time of year for many people. She doesn't need to go to counseling, they need to go to counseling. If he wants to keep it together, he's got to get involved. And remember that you're only hearing one side of the story.
 

bigbull338

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sometimes there is no known reason for a divorce.but i agree there could be a new bf hid somewhere.an that maybe the reason.but i really dont know.i know a guy or 2 thats been blindsided with divorce papers.an they where in udder shock.
 

Susie David

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From my experience...divirce is just the final step in a failed relationship. You can bet that there is alot more to the story than they are telling everyone. I tend to side with the boyfriend (or girlfriend, she could feed fron both sides of the trough) theory...best to stay friends with bothe of them...taking sides can ruin friendships on both sieds.
and thats my two bits worth...asked for or not. DMc
 

curtis

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There's another man in the wood pile that's been digging her taters.
 
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GMN

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Frankie":1l9ip5hl said:
There should be a "reason" on the divorce papers. He was apparently satisfied with the relationship, but apparently she wasn't. The holidays are a difficult time of year for many people. She doesn't need to go to counseling, they need to go to counseling. If he wants to keep it together, he's got to get involved. And remember that you're only hearing one side of the story.

He is the one that wanted to go to joint counseling. He initially gave her space and time, but after the papers were served, he followed peoples advice and got his own lawyer. I do not know her side of the story, but I do tend to think there is another guy, as of 2 months ago, when I went to get my haircut from her, she was talking of going on a family vacation with her family, so who knows what changed in that little bit of time.

Time will tell, I'll tell you this, she can't have it both ways, the last bit, was she accussed him of having a girlfriend-lets be real, he is still devastated from her actions, not sure what game she is playing, but she is playing one.

GMN
 

Wewild

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Crowderfarms":3bi8k4hi said:
There's always three sides to a story like your's. His side, her side, and the truth. ;-)

Good post.
 

Jogeephus

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grannysoo":1np6nakq said:
No. There need not be a reason.

So........... she's not speaking the truth? She's going to go to counseling but is not?

Look for her new boyfriend to appear soon. They're still hiding it for the moment.

That's where I'll put my money. Women don't normally leave they normally go to something.
 

2barmcattle

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People just plain don't know how to be married anymore. I have been trying to save the marriage of a co-worker for several weeks now. Their marital issues are mainly his fault and he does not have a CLUE. I say that to say.....We all made a vow, for better or for worse and all of a sudden when(not if) the "for worse" comes some change their minds. It's a pitty!!! We need to teach our children how to be married and maybe we can fix this problem. Sorry about the soapbox.....been on my mind lately. Good luck to this couple. :tiphat:
 

Nesikep

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my gut tells me the same thing that everyone else has been saying, there's someone else in the picture that we haven't heard of yet


the best thing about staying friends with both of them is you'll eventually find out the third side to the story, it will pop up.. IE, they get married, ask the groom when they met... it's the perfect occasion for a slip-up
 

Lammie

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She can just file saying they are not compatible any longer. I think that's what most folks do these days. I know my first husband did. It does sound to me like she's playing both sides of the fence here. Hedging her bets to make sure that there is a man in her life no matter what, so she strings along the husband and probably is trying to cultivate a relationship on the side so she'll have someone to run to.

As for the papers, you really don't always know when they will be served, but you do know that they will be served at some point. I took my ex back to court for more child support and I didn't know his physical address, had never been to his house after he moved out. He was ninety miles away. I knew when he got the papers, though, cause he lit into me.

It is sad because it is hard on the kids. I hate having put my kids through all that stuff. I didn't file, though, he did.
 

BIGC

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Well... him getting himself a lawyer is a good thing for him. Im a soldier and went thru one Aug. two years ago. I was going to give her everthing and a good friend ask me to just talk to a lawyer. I did. Got a lot out of my divorce... two house notes, two car notes, my two kid's and a new ac repair-man. Come to to think of it my new ac man only comes by once a year. What"s up with that. LOL!
Remember there's three sides to every story- Her side- His side--- and the TRUTH!
 

Bez+

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Still trying to get back to even.
One thing for sure - you try staying friends with both sides of this mess you risk getting tangled up in a "he said / she said" scenario.

Best to stand back a bit - if the truth has been told here - I am also a believer there is a boyfriend in the wood pile.

No matter the reason.

You get tangled up and you will end up being sorry.

Cheers

Bez+
 
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GMN

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Bez+":3sss8ol1 said:
One thing for sure - you try staying friends with both sides of this mess you risk getting tangled up in a "he said / she said" scenario.

Best to stand back a bit - if the truth has been told here - I am also a believer there is a boyfriend in the wood pile.

No matter the reason.

You get tangled up and you will end up being sorry.

Cheers

Bez+

Correct, I have no intention of getting involved. I do hope things go well for him though. His wife found out yesterday that he had his own lawyer, she had this one hired, and just assummed that he would go to the same one, so he would pay for him. It just amazes me that she thinks she can pull all the strings, like the guy doesn't have a mind of his own. Yikes.

GMN
 

hillsdown

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The same thing happened to my cousin a few years ago (12 years ago), the good thing was that their youngest son was already 15 at the time. He (her husband) came home one day and said he had bought another house and will be moving out. She thought they were perfectly happy and although he had been working awfully long/late hours the past year or so, she thought it was just because he had started a new business and he was a very hard worker. :roll:

She was served with separation papers immediately..

A few months later she found out the truth that the new home he bought was for his new family a young divorced gal and her three kids. He was 49 and she was 28 when their affair was first exposed.

I felt really bad for her, but also wondered why didn't she see the the signs. I guess she figured that they had been together for so long that him cheating never crossed her mind. Looking back I saw a couple of signs, his appearance had changed now he was always very neat/tidy wearing the trendiest clothes, he had gotten his hair professionally hi-lighted and looked younger and was better looking than ever before (I always thought he was geeky looking). The kicker was when he asked me where my husband and I liked to go out to, what were the hot spots in town..He is 24 years younger than me. I found it odd and did mention it to a few people but never to my cousin ,maybe I should have.

GMN I think there is more to the story and eventually you may find out the whole truth. It is a said situation all around. But I have to go with she found some greener pasture . If you want to pick sides pick the twins side..
 
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GMN

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hillsdown":2h0y271c said:
The same thing happened to my cousin a few years ago (12 years ago), the good thing was that their youngest son was already 15 at the time. He (her husband) came home one day and said he had bought another house and will be moving out. She thought they were perfectly happy and although he had been working awfully long/late hours the past year or so, she thought it was just because he had started a new business and he was a very hard worker. :roll:

She was served with separation papers immediately..

A few months later she found out the truth that the new home he bought was for his new family a young divorced gal and her three kids. He was 49 and she was 28 when their affair was first exposed.

I felt really bad for her, but also wondered why didn't she see the the signs. I guess she figured that they had been together for so long that him cheating never crossed her mind. Looking back I saw a couple of signs, his appearance had changed now he was always very neat/tidy wearing the trendiest clothes, he had gotten his hair professionally hi-lighted and looked younger and was better looking than ever before (I always thought he was geeky looking). The kicker was when he asked me where my husband and I liked to go out to, what were the hot spots in town..He is 24 years younger than me. I found it odd and did mention it to a few people but never to my cousin ,maybe I should have.

GMN I think there is more to the story and eventually you may find out the whole truth. It is a said situation all around. But I have to go with she found some greener pasture . If you want to pick sides pick the twins side..

Of course the twins will always mean a whole lot to me.

Sounds like a familar story, somewhat. She had been on these diet pills for over a year, lost a lot of weight, they were the kind that made her hyper, and we all just thought she wasn't heavy before the diet, and the pills she bought on the sly, they are off the market, and we all kind of thought they could be dangerous.I think she did get addicted to them, because she lost too much weight, if U know what I mean, where she looked kind of sick. In retrospect, I guess we could think she was losing weight for another guy, whether that is true, I don't think we will ever know.

GMN
 
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GMN

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Of course the twins will always mean a whole lot to me.

Sounds like a familar story, somewhat. She had been on these diet pills for over a year, lost a lot of weight, they were the kind that made her hyper, and we all just thought she wasn't heavy before the diet, and the pills she bought on the sly, they are off the market, and we all kind of thought they could be dangerous.I think she did get addicted to them, because she lost too much weight, if U know what I mean, where she looked kind of sick. In retrospect, I guess we could think she was losing weight for another guy, whether that is true, I don't think we will ever know.

GMN[/quote]


Hyper, getting sickly skinny, getting addicted, sounds like the meth diet to me.[/quote]

I know that was a thought by another family member, but I honestly don't even want to think that.

GMN
 

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