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Clearing the air for ...

Jogeephus

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I've been taking a night class in Victimology and I'd like to take this opportunity to clear the air for us rednecks. It ain't right that many of you have no clue what a redneck is and you are apparantly confusing rednecks with White Trash.(I'm typing real slow for you Canadians up there :mrgreen: ) So what I'd like to do is to devote this post to the edumaction of you unedumated folks that don't know what White Trash is.

If you are white trash:

You are sure the last verse in the national anthem is; "start your engines".
You have been divorced at least twice and still have the same inlaws.
You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
You were shooting pool when any of your children were born.
Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos."
Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."
You've ever given rat traps as gifts.
You clean your fingernails with a stick.
You've ever hit a deer with your car, deliberately.
Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
You keep a can of RAID on your kitchen table.
You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
There has ever been crime-scene tape on your bathroom door.
You ever got too drunk to fish. (this one is debatable)
You consider the fifth grade your senior year.
Directions to your house include, "Turn off the paved road."
The dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
You think the French Riviera is a foreign car
You prefer car keys to Q-Tips.
You've ever financed a tattoo.
The gas pedal in your car is shaped like a bare foot.
You've ever bought a used hat.
You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a dog.
You're considered an expert on worm beds.
You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
Your stove is on the porch and your lawn chairs are in the kitchen.
"Bambi" made you hungry for rabbit.
You learned to drive in a monster truck.
You spit chewing tobacco in the plants.
Your wedding reception included a beer brunch.
You believe books are bad luck.
You believe all-star wrestling should be an Olympic competition.
You recycle motor oil by moving it from the car to the truck.
You think a "thesaurus" was a dinosaur.

I hope I learnt you summin! ;-)
 

grannysoo

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Now the only burning question left for me........

Can I be white trash and a redneck at the same time???

I'll loose sleep over this tonight.
 

Jogeephus

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grannysoo":2rvodeil said:
Now the only burning question left for me........

Can I be white trash and a redneck at the same time???

I'll loose sleep over this tonight.

I'm pretty sure it works like this. Most all white trash are rednecks but not all rednecks are white trash. I believe this to be true.
 

cfpinz

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Jogeephus":1ba6zp1z said:
You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a dog.

Cousin and his ex-wife had a knock-down drag-out over a shitzu. A friggin shitzu.

I can relate (am related to) so many of those it isn't even funny.
 

Ryder

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Jogeephus":2xjbjy47 said:
grannysoo":2xjbjy47 said:
Now the only burning question left for me........

Can I be white trash and a redneck at the same time???

I'll loose sleep over this tonight.

I'm pretty sure it works like this. Most all white trash are rednecks but not all rednecks are white trash. I believe this to be true.

I don't think all white trash are rednecks. I have known some pretty trashy white trash that were not rednecks.
 

Calman

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Jo,I'm sure glad you made the one,"to drunk to fish",debatable.
Thought I might be white trash there for a minute.
Second thought maby I oughta go over all these more thouroughly and think back over my past.

Cal
 

Calman

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Did I see,"If the hogs ate your little brother",on that list somewhere or is my eyes failing me?

Cal
 

cfpinz

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Keren":1r54a1to said:
cfpinz":1r54a1to said:
Jogeephus":1r54a1to said:
You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a dog.

Cousin and his ex-wife had a knock-down drag-out over a shitzu. A friggin shitzu.

I can relate (am related to) so many of those it isn't even funny.

you related to the dog, or the white trash?

White trash by blood, dog by default. But I don't claim either.
 

Lammie

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Can you get some of them and still avoid being White Trash? Cause I have done about five of those things.

I tried playing pool when my kids were being born, but the contractions kept messing with my bank shot.
 

alacattleman

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Lammie":2zjtby7e said:
Can you get some of them and still avoid being White Trash? Cause I have done about five of those things.

I tried playing pool when my kids were being born, but the contractions kept messing with my bank shot.
my first wife alway brought up the fact,,,that i stopped to get barbeque on the way too the hospital while she was in labor :p ......... you ever layed rubber in a funeral procession
 

Lammie

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I think you qualify for genuine redneck status.

I thought it was bad that my first husband left to get chicken fried steak right after I had a baby. I mean, he left me in recovery to go.
 

john250

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I thought it was bad that my first husband left to get chicken fried steak right after I had a baby. I mean, he left me in recovery to go.

my first wife alway brought up the fact,,,that i stopped to get barbeque on the way too the hospital while she was in labor :p

Women just never, ever forget these small things.
 

Ryder

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Lammie":2qpojiul said:
I think you qualify for genuine redneck status.

I thought it was bad that my first husband left to get chicken fried steak right after I had a baby. I mean, he left me in recovery to go.
Well, if you were recovering, and if he was really hungry...
 

alacattleman

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Lammie[u:1h0e51h1 said:
":1h0e51h1]I think you qualify for genuine redneck status. [/u]I thought it was bad that my first husband left to get chicken fried steak right after I had a baby. I mean, he left me in recovery to go.
quailfy!! what a insult.....................................i set the standard for the others too live by ;-)
 

Bullbuyer

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I got a few questions:
First - to my esteemed friend cf - what is a shitzu?

Secondly - Lammie was it just chicken fried steak or was there some biscuits and white gravy also? That changes things completely! And if there was mashed taters to go along with all of that other - then I have to say I would have probably left too. I mean seriously, there was nothing else he could do.
 

mobgrazer

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A shitzu is like a small puddle I think. They have no use IMO.

My wife took 14.5 hours with our first one. I told her after 14 hours you have an hour and I’m off to get some good food no mater what’s going on. She started [email protected] and popped that thing right out. I stayed till she got to recovery. The doc walked in and she asked if she was allowed to eat what she wanted. You would not believe the stuff I had to buy her.

There is a good amount of stuff on that list that fits me to a T but I’m not white trash. I have never laid rubber during a funeral but I have chunked tires with my lifted restored scout to the point I could not breath during a funeral if that counts ;-).

You missed some stuff about lifting a vehicle so you could double the size of the rims your running.
If you have more sender blocks holding up your cars then what’s holding up your house.
If you only have 6 good tires but move them to different cars depending on what one is running this week for your wife.
What about having a funeral and using a pickup for the casket and the tractor with hay wagon as a limo.
If you have ever put a lift kit on a car.
What about if you have ever painted a car with a gallon of rustoleam and bragged because you got a new paint job. A 68 c30 with 8’ bed takes a gallon if you don’t do the inside of the cab. Yes I repaint my clunker farm truck every few years.

I’ll think of more soon…
 

Lammie

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Bullbuyer":1h6lzt0z said:
I got a few questions:
First - to my esteemed friend cf - what is a shitzu?

Secondly - Lammie was it just chicken fried steak or was there some biscuits and white gravy also? That changes things completely! And if there was mashed taters to go along with all of that other - then I have to say I would have probably left too. I mean seriously, there was nothing else he could do.

There used to be this place called Massey's on 8th Street in Fort Worth. It was famous for chicken fried steak with all the trimmings and it was the best anywhere. Every time we went to a dr appt we had to eat there. I didn't even know where he went. He came back with flowers and gravy on his chin. And he didn't bring me any!
 

Lammie

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That other thing you were asking about is a little hairy dog of the Kick Me variety. I had one, I know. It was the smelliest dog I ever had. It reeked. I was glad when it wandered off.
 

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